Met a girl through arranged marriage setup. Worked in a big enterprise company as a software engineer.
Me: TC - 60 lakhs [48 fixed + 12 ESOPs]
Wanted to get married in 3-4 months. The reason she said was that her mind would change. It isn't stable. Once I get married, it's like I have to live with the same person.
Had no concrete reason to get married apart from physical needs.
Said that my partner should always earn more than me else male ego gets impacted.
Hardly felt emotions.
Never showed interest in what I do, what are my dreams. Was only concerned about money.
My parents liked her family and wanted me to go ahead.
But I said No. I never had second opinion or doubts, but after reading about Atul Shubhas, I thought the exact same thing would have happened to me.
Have decided not to marry, can't give my net worth as alimony.
Is marriages really worth it? I am kinda worried and feel I am well off without marriage.
You dodged a bullet. You need to be very specific with Arranged marriages. When marriages turned bad, people around us (relatives, friends etc) used to come around to solve things. Now, due to the law, women have an incentive to falsify cases and torture families. With that incentive, they can appear to be well-meaning, innocent and harmless till the knot is tied.
He may have dodged the bullet. But he painted a target on him the day he said his CtC in the marriage market.
If he had said his CtC was 12-14 lakh, he would have not attracted her in the first place.
One must change the CTC quotation according to the potential target.
Marriage doesn't have the sanctity it did earlier , with social media and all the reels,posts about pre wedding shoots mua shua bs,destination weddings there's a big chunk of females who just want to get married to make a post about it / voluntarily succumb to peer pressure without actually caring about who they get married to and will have to live their full lives with without having the maturity of making a marriage work. Parents don't help either because they just want to delegate responsibilities of their daughters so she's 'taken care of' and not to be worried about.
I said no to a guy because he started asking for dowry indirectly!
He’s earning 15 lpa and I never cared about his package. My shaadi profile clearly mentions it- I don’t have a minimum package requirement set. There still exist women who want more in a man than his package!
But this guy subtly started asking for an SUV and that really put me off! My parents were like it’s been 2-3 months you should get engaged at the least! But I was firm on my stance that I would like to know this person first.
Fast forward 6 months, I called it off and dodged a bullet myself! Or else him and his family would’ve made my life hell.
He and his*
Good. This is happening on both sides. Bad people are on both sides. Good ones too! Hence, one needs to wait for some time and analyse if they are the right one. Btw have seen a lot of profiles on matrimony sites but no mention of something like "no minimum package requirements". So wanna applaude and appreciate your way of thinking.
It's important to pass on our jeans, marry a poor girl with little to no expectations but she must be family type girl. I'm just 20 so don't take it seriously if not satisfied with me.
Well, here is my 2 cents. Marrying a poor girl if you are rich is even more dangerous. I saw at least 20 guys which did this and failed miserably. Let me explain.. If you are rich and bought up with more than you want, you don’t have greed for money. Now imagine a poor person who just had minimum needs for almost 20-25 years and suddenly saw surplus money after marriage, imagine how mindset changes. You can melt mountains with that mindset. So, always parity is needed. I married a girl who has at least 10% of my net worth and we are a happy couple and money is never a point of discussion.
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