🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Indian grandmothers face extinction as Hiring Season picks up

Bengaluru | March 18, 2025

Recruiters across India are reporting a sudden spike in grandmother fatalities, leading to mass offer dropouts and last-minute reschedules. Experts say the pattern is alarmingly consistent and have labelled it the Thanos of excuses, inevitable, all-powerful, universally accepted and job title, role and company stage scale agnostic.

"Every time we roll out offers, the mortality rate among Dadi's skyrockets" says one frustrated Talent Acquisition lead. In a survey conducted by noone.. 99.8% of candidates said that "Dadi mar gayi" remains the most effective excuse to avoid interviews or while dropping offers.

When asked if companies should start verifying these claims, one recruiter simply sent us 1 finger pointing up emoji, which certainly wasn't this -> 👍

Meanwhile, hiring managers have proposed a new policy where every job offer now includes a mandatory clause which reads.. "If Dadi is alive at the time of offer acceptance, she must remain alive until onboarding"

~Janhit mein Jaari