Are divorced people red flags?
My friend has fallen for a divorced lady. She tells him that it was arranged marriage and she wasn't emotionally attached to him, esp because he was physically abusive. Infact, she didn't tell him about her history until he was well in love with her. He is shocked at learning this but is justifying her story and choosing to continue saying there is no guarantee with any other woman too about the past. I am asking him to keep emotions in check in making a decision to go ahead with her. But, I am now thinking if all divorced people are necessarily red-flags? If so, how to counsel this friend for best step?
For a man, divorced woman is not necessarily a red flag. It should not be seen in isolation. It should be seen with age, the groom she married, the family, the settlement, more than settlement the time they lived together, their divorce proceedings time.
Asking them for reason behind divorce is practically useless. They will always blame the other. Man will blame the women, woman will blame the man.
Generally speaking single man should not marry a divorced woman. It will never work out. Emotional baggage is hard to leave behind
Probably not. I'd think about 30-40% of the people got divorced through no fault of their own.
But working things out will definitely need quite some effort and compromise. In the first place, getting families to treat each other civilly, getting the divorced lady to shed her emotional baggage, and actually have a good relationship etc will be extremely tough.
If they don't get over the divorce and have a low self esteem, that's another issue that needs to be dealt with.
Mostly.
There could be exceptions.
No. But need to proceed with caution definitely.
I would say that not all divorced people are red flags. Being in a unhappy marriage is way better than getting divorce and being happy with themselves. I have known some people who have remarried and happy in their marriage. Again, in this scenario, she might be afraid that he might leave her if he knows she's been divorced. I would suggest that your friend has to get the facts straight , the reason why they got divorced , fact check all the information if possible and make a decision.