Hi Grapeviners, So here's my story. I'm 27 years old. I've accumulated many regrets till now and it is piercing through my chest. My thoughts would be like spaghetti so bear with me. Never tried to be social. Made probably 3-4 friends in my life with whom I'm not in touch with anymore as they raced ahead in life. I remained holed up in my room at my parents home most of the time. The only thing I have to show for is a SWE job which also doesn't really interest me and it feels like a chore to do it. I don't feel excited to wake up in the morning and I wish the time after 12 am becomes still and the morning doesn't come. There are countless thoughts running around in my head 24/7 and the only time they aren't is when I'm asleep. I don't know what I want in life and I don't know what to do. I'm not a very smart guy. I don't get things easily. I don't even remember when was the last time I genuinely laughed with a free mind. Life seems over and it feels like I'm just breathing. For anyone who's thinking why I'm writing all this bullshit here when I know nobody cares is I just wanted to through these thoughts out in the universe and see what comes of it. Good or Bad I doesn't matter. Peace out.
It happens to everyone, just go to gym , pick a passion
This worked for me🤟
It's very common and ok to feel like that.
Tanhayi se pyar kar lo,fir kisi ki jarurat hi nahi padegi. And this is not to demotivate you to get social. Enjoy your space,that's it.
Go on a solo trip. Do long distance running. If you feel.like, go out to an empty place , and shout and cry like anything. Let it out bro...
Pick a hobby, get bored of that, pick another. Don't know what to do, go for a long long walk.
Therapy can help you with these thoughts and find a direction in life.
Also try to pick up a hobby or volunteering engagement; great way to meet people and make friends. Hobby could be fishing, hiking, running, turf football/cricket, etc. You can volunteer at an animal shelter, take classes for underprivileged kids (on weekends) or help environmental organisations.
Yes. All it takes is a passionate therapist to help you get out of this rut.
@DimpledProblem please invest in a good therapist and see the magic happen. (Obviously you'll have to put in the efforts but they break things down so well that it becomes a cakewalk)
Peace out
I feel you bro. Going through the same shit. Unrecognised at work. Once used to like my job but now feels like a formality with no end result. Feel like everyone else is way ahead and better than me.
Get married
And make it more worse 😉
Nah all these problems in this age are because your heart is craving for love. That love from other gender is gonna solve everything. Its all LOVE
Relax. Similar kind of situation although better. I think being social is required. Talking to people around or friends or family always helps. Away from social media will be a boon away from Linkedin as well.
100%. Social media kills your morale instantly.
How to be social w/o friends ?
Different people have different opinions ways to enjoy.
I too was not finding interest to do my job felt more like a Job, was staying away from home with very little social life. Mostly spending time online with no real passion.
Few things that helped, today I can say in full confidence I’m having the best time.
Moved to a new job, in home town. New always helps in creating spark. This is a big company so more colleagues to connect some social life at office.
Being in home town closer to family, lot more friends here, so there is always something happening.
Started working out again a great way to pass some time and places like cult have a good social scene.
Travelled to multiples places solo sometimes with friends enjoying both lone time and company.
All I can say is this one decision changed a boring lifestyle to super busy super fun lifestyle. I hope a few of these things help you.
It may not work for everyone. Many times you don't have an option to stay in your hometown so you have to move somewhere else where there are better opportunities. As for social life and friends, everybody is not that social, some prefer keeping their circle limited to only a handful of people who are genuinely interested in taking the connection forward, the real ones, rather than being surrounded by so many people who just gossip and hangout for fun with no interest or respect for you. In this case, being connected with nature or doing social work would be a better option. The satisfaction you get by being close to nature and helping someone needy or unprivileged and the smile you see on their faces after that is something which can't be described. Anyone irrespective of their personality can do it, it's only going to make you feel positive with no negativity around.
ull realise that many people are going through similar thoughts. And it's not just restricted to single people, even married people with families go through the same at some stage. try and find something you enjoy ,it could be something as simple as watching Netflix or finding a hobby, ,for example reading through your post I get that you are decent at writing and expressing your thoughts ,may be writing or blogging could be your thing?
@BATooniMAaN This is the first time I've heard from someone that I write well. Never in my entire life I imagined that I write well.
Hey, thanks for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to put those feelings out there, and it’s completely normal to feel lost sometimes.
One thing that might help is setting small goals each day, even if they're just simple tasks like going for a walk or picking up a new hobby. It can really help build a sense of accomplishment. Also, exploring new interests can open doors to meeting new people and forming connections.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family to talk about how you’re feeling—it can make a big difference. If things feel really heavy, speaking with a therapist can provide some clarity and coping strategies.
And hey, taking a break from social media might be a good idea too; it can sometimes make us feel worse. Lastly, consider trying mindfulness techniques like journaling or meditation to help calm your mind and reflect on what you really want in life.
Remember, it's okay to take your time figuring things out, and you deserve to find joy and fulfillment. Take care!
I completely relate. I'm the same age, even. I dealt this purposeless mindset by keeping myself occupied. Anything at all. Walk, gym, talk to friends. This won't fix the problem but at least take your time off it. Off late, I convinced myself to prep for MS abroad. That sort of gave me a purpose and something to look forward to. And even if it doesn't work out, like I don't get into a good college or say I don't get a good job after graduating, I can always come back, do the same job I always did. Convince yourself to be a part of something bigger. Community and ambition will help you take your mind off the reality, which honestly is the fact that life is indeed purposeless and you're right to feel the way you do. Everyone else is fooling themselves. You do too.
Wow - seems the truth -> "Life is purposeless and everyone else is fooling themselves"
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