by WobblyMarshmallowWalmart
Rejecting an offer after making them wait.
Has anyone rejected an offer making them wait for 60 days? And do you feel guilty for doing it, if yes then how do you deal with it?
SwirlyBanana
Feeling guilty about turning down offer letter 12 days before joining
So I was made an offer by an MNC bank a couple of months ago. My notice period was 90 days so they had to reluctantly agree to that. Later they also tried to make me join in 70 but I told them it won't be possible and requested them to push the joining date and they eventually agreed. Now the thing is that the recruiter was insecure about me not joining right from the beginning. Even if I missed 1 call from her, she would start asking whether I am interested to join at all. After the offer, everytime she called me she would begin with saying that they have stopped interviewing people and that she hopes that I have done the same. Obviously I had to convince her that I was not interviewing any more, but in reality, I obviously was. I mean they stopped interviewing only after making sure they got their preferred candidate (they interviewed people even after I cleared all rounds), so why shouldn't I?
It had become a weekly routine to assure her that I was joining. One part of me was actually afraid that I would get a better offer and I wouldn't know what to say to her. Today, that exact thing happened - I received a better offer from a product based company with just 12 days remaining till my joining date.
Obviously I will have to say no to her now. But I want your views on:
- How bad is this morally on my part?
- What steps can she realistically take against me in this situation?
- What are some excuses I can give to her in this situation. I will not ghost her because I believe in facing the consequences of my own actions directly.
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JumpyPickle
Google3mo
Company 2 Minute nahi sochti employee ko nikalne se pehle , ghanta kuch fark padega unko , candidates aise milte hai companies ko, bindas mana kar bhai ....jaise Hr reject karti hai ye tera time hai reject karne ka.... Remember - work for money, corporate mein ye moral values ki koi jagah nahi
CosmicLlama
Freelancer3mo
Don't join the company 2. Better offers will always come. They kept thier end of the deal. You should keep yours.
I hate the HRs. Truly hate them. I live on the principle that it's ok to stab the company because they would do to me without any remorse. But when someone is willing to wait 90 days, is a good company, you don't get many like them. Take it. Even if it is for six months.
JumpyPretzel
Stealth3mo
Even tcs/infosys may be willing to wait 90 days, doesn’t mean anything.
SwirlyBanana
Walmart3mo
Actually this company itself has a 90 day notice period. Also, we had agreed to a 30 day notice period because I was on the bench and told them I can join in a month if they close the process quickly. But they delayed things from their end and I was taken into a new project and my notice period went back to 90 days.
ZoomyJellybean
HCL3mo
Its totally fine to turn down the offer last days. If you are feeling guilty, just honestly tell over call or email that you have received this much offer. If they are ready to match, I'll be able to join.
JumpyPretzel
Stealth3mo
If you are feeling guilty, just write a nice, sobbing 😭 mail, but be done with it anyway.
PeppySushi
Genpact3mo
I left a company after 1 week of joining. I felt guilty af . But then they hired someone in the next week lol. So don't worry , it's good that you're feeling guilty , which means you have a conscience. The only thing I'd say is - do it over a call , not on email
SleepyTaco
Stealth3mo
Being professional is a way of life. Irrespective of what anyone here says, it comes down to whether you are a professional or not. What you do now will likely define what you do (and others do to you) over the rest of your career.
It is possible the HR person went out on a limb to vouch for you, so you should not screw them over by backing out after 90 days of false promises, even if other companies in general have screwed over candidates in the past (and vice versa). Strictly speaking, once you accept an offer you should stop interviewing with others.
Having said that, if you want to take up the offer from Company 2, you are well within your rights to do so. But be transparent and have a frank talk with your POC in Company 1. Find ways to work through this with them first. If that doesn't work, you can always go to Company 2. If they behave badly, your decision to go to Company 2 becomes that much easier 😀
To answer your specific questions:
- Ditching them is morally very bad on your part for sure
- She can take almost no steps right now if you walk away, but if your paths cross anywhere down the line, you may be on the receiving end.
- Don't look for excuses to give. Be frank and professional, tell them that you have a great opportunity with Company 2, and that you want to discuss possibilities before accepting that option.
Never burn a bridge.
SwirlyBanana
Walmart3mo
This is the exact thing I am bugged about. The fact that some HRs do bad things to candidates doesn't justify me doing bad things because people doing things like this is the very thing that keeps this culture going. So I am simply becoming part of the problem.
But on the other hand, I do not completely agree that I should have stopped interviewing once I accepted an offer. Because this means that they company can look as long as they like until they find the best candidate, but it is expecting me to stop looking as soon as they're done looking. The market heavily favours the recruiters anyway. It is relatively much easier and faster for a company to find their ideal candidate than the other way round. So when the company stops interviewing further, they are not doing me a favour. It is because they know that they will not get any incremental value from searching longer. But for the candidate, this search saturation time, so to speak, is much longer. It takes much longer for us to find the ideal company. But the company won't wait for us to do that and it is understandable. They are exploiting their dominant position in the market. But how is it fair to expect candidates to not exploit their dominant position when they get there (after accepting the offer)?
But the only moral qualm I have here is that the system is designed in such a way that I have to give my word to the recruiter after they are done looking. I will have to use deception to look out for my self interest while the company has to do no such thing. And this deception is the part that I am bugged about.
SleepyTaco
Stealth3mo
Tides turn, buyer markets become seller markets and vice versa - that cycle goes on and on. There will be good HR and bad HR, good talent and bad talent. You may feel like you have a short window to find better opportunities but the reality is, your window is always open. Even after you join the company, if they are not the right fit for you, you can move - you are completely justified in doing so. So don't feel that the system is biased against you.
All I'm saying is, in your current situation given what you have openly and unbiasedly described, be transparent in your discussions with them when they have openly told you that they are counting on you. You may even be able to work out a win-win here, and if not, you can do what's in your best interest knowing you earnestly looked for mutually beneficial options. You already seem like a person with a moral compass and a strong sense of professionalism, so trust your instincts here.
I wish you all the best!
GroovyJellybean
Stealth3mo
It's ok there are many who turn down offer jus t one day before joining they hav no remorse..
DizzyLlama
Atlys3mo
- Morally wrong when you promise someone.
- All they can really do is blacklist you from applying to that place again (at max) as long as they haven't spent any money on you (hotel accommodation, flight booking for you in the city etc). If that is done, at max, you'd be required to reimburse if any cost to them
- No excuse, honesty - i have found a better opportunity that better aligns with my career goals and i wouldn't be able to join your org.
Please be ready to see some rudeness, possibly a call abruptly cutting etc. You need to be calm in this
FloatingMarshmallow
directly To the point!
CosmicRaccoon
Stealth3mo
If your turn it down, most probably the HR recruiter will not connect with you again in the future for any rolls whatsoever.
Career is a long term game. It’s better not to ruin relationships.
SwirlyBanana
Walmart3mo
I don't think I'll come across the same HR for a role in the future, so that's not the part that bothers me.
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