How bad can a guy get lonely?
Hi everyone,
27M I work in a reputed MNC with a good package ( approx 13 LPA) I really don't like the job much but I had to work because of my family situation. I lost my father at the age of 24 and I have no siblings, not much ancestral wealth,my mom is a housewife.
I have zero friends not even a single female friend. My teammates are from different states all over India. I go to the office alone I sit alone and work alone. They don't even know my face till now. I had lots of friends in schools, few in colleges but almost left and getting married and settled now. There is nothing for me to do on weekends absolutely nothing. I had a close friend from childhood even though he went to the US from his company. Almost everyone around me is either getting married, hanging out or even enjoying vacation.
2-3 relatives supported us when I lost my father. Apart from these all our relatives are waiting for me and my mom's downfall. After I lost my father experienced trauma depression and severe negative thoughts. We live in a rental house only for me and my mom. I started going to the gym to feel better but it's not fixing my loneliness. I have a babyface and I'm just 5.5 ft so lots of ppl made fun of appearances and the body shamed me as well. They even troll like " man you're 27 don't joke haha. Oh which college are you studying? In random functions. Even though I do nothing on my birthday nobody is there to wish me except 2-3 people. People always found me uninteresting and witty. I feel like God has cursed me in some sort
I told my mom that even I'm ready for marriage just to escape loneliness. Now my mom is saying "Searching brides in our community is extremely tough, if you have any girlfriends or love let me know, we can talk" I mean WTF hell. Ppl hardly talk to me. How the holy hell will I get a girlfriend and marry her? Even my college friends hardly message me. I cry almost on all weekends with loneliness and sudden depression. Is there any hope left?
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
Hey man, I can relate with you on lot of things. It ain't easy, it always feels like no matter what you do, being your true self, you'd never vibe with anyone.
I have been there, I haven't fully recovered truly. But, the way I am trying to solve this is -
- Try to connect with whatever friends you have
- Try to talk to the acquaintances and see if there's any common point based on which you'd like to build the relationship
- Dropping my pride/sense of entitlement. I was always like, why very few people wish me on birthday, why no one asks me to roam around with them during weekends etc etc. I start doing the opposite. I don't think what they can do for me, I see what I can do for them. So, if I want to go out, I'd check with someone who I believe would enjoy something like that. Across interactions, I'd Try to take interest in what they are doing, find ways to help them out.
All these things aren't easy, like DSA, you'd have to put lot of inputs initially to get some result. Once you get to an inflection point, you'd be able to get better and better.
Oh and yes, what I found out are -
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Don't lose your self confidence, if you yourself don't respect/enjoy your own company, others can see it and they'd not enjoy being with you
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Don't be so much involved in others lives that you forget your own life goals and priorities.
Give it time and be cheerful that you are taking steps to be better.
I wish you all the best!
Hear Premanand ji
Change only happens when the pain of how you are right now is more than the pain of changing yourself..
I hope you get what I am saying..
Live long and prosper 🙌🏻
When is your birthday? Apart from that, try finding someone lowkey, who matches your thought process, someone from your community or office . You have to talk! No one else can spoon feed you in a relation. Go meet the team, Try sharing your thoughts(baby steps at a time)!
Register on matrimonial site
Also, you need to make an effort to talk to people. Atleast can start with teammates
First thing, you need to talk to someone, it doesn't matter whether you know them or not. Go for paid counselling or explore the free Employee Assistance Program or confidential and independent counselling at your company? Many IT/Tech companies offer this assistance to their employees and don't bother about what happens if your managers come to know, They won't know and even if they do, nothing changes. You will continue to get the same amount of work.
Second, you will be surprised to know that the majority of people don't have lots of friends, just 1-2 they are close to. In your organization, if you have communities like CSR, sports, fun activities, book club whatever it is, hit the join button. You will meet people there.
At this age making new friends is a process that requires a lot of effort and consistency.Taking initiative and proactively engaging with potential people can win you friends :). Many will not like it and call you "chape", and such people will drop off, but stay consistent with the process and you will end up with 1-2 good friends. Don't put a gender filter for now, focus on finding someone to talk to or building a small circle of people who are nice to you.
Do not hold yourself from exploring places and things, by yourself,.Go to movies, malls and other places. You never know, who you will bump into:).
Does Accenture or any other MNC's hire people in digital marketing domain?
Arre my team is spread across India..some are from Pune Bengal odisha.. I'm from the Chennai office where there is no one in my team. I go to the office alone and sit alone..nothing yaar..I don't even know the reason I exist..I just exist as a body nothing else. Nobody even cares whether I exist or not except my mom and very few others. Loneliness is increasing day by day..I think ppl like me don't belong to this planet..or some cursed ones to be born.. we are the largest population in the world and yet can't even get a friend to whom I can share my thoughts.. maybe it's because of my looks people reject me..
Very similar situation for me + no relative support (property issues in the family)
Try working for a cause . Try working for Dharma.
Firstly, I appreciate you spoke your heart out
Secondly, being myself a single that feeling of being alone I can understand that
And then you are doing a great job, you are strong, confident and independent.
Yeah about hope, you have you and your mother and you are handling everything well shows that you are doing good for yourself. And please don't let social media fool you and don't let other people define your happiness. And I really mean it when I say this happiness do come from small things in life.
And an important thought I would like you to inculcate - appreciate you are alone. Having no friends are better than having fake friends.
This is true but human is a social animal and it hurts bro when everyone is social and we are alone