How bad can a guy get lonely?
Hi everyone,
27M I work in a reputed MNC with a good package ( approx 13 LPA) I really don't like the job much but I had to work because of my family situation. I lost my father at the age of 24 and I have no siblings, not much ancestral wealth,my mom is a housewife.
I have zero friends not even a single female friend. My teammates are from different states all over India. I go to the office alone I sit alone and work alone. They don't even know my face till now. I had lots of friends in schools, few in colleges but almost left and getting married and settled now. There is nothing for me to do on weekends absolutely nothing. I had a close friend from childhood even though he went to the US from his company. Almost everyone around me is either getting married, hanging out or even enjoying vacation.
2-3 relatives supported us when I lost my father. Apart from these all our relatives are waiting for me and my mom's downfall. After I lost my father experienced trauma depression and severe negative thoughts. We live in a rental house only for me and my mom. I started going to the gym to feel better but it's not fixing my loneliness. I have a babyface and I'm just 5.5 ft so lots of ppl made fun of appearances and the body shamed me as well. They even troll like " man you're 27 don't joke haha. Oh which college are you studying? In random functions. Even though I do nothing on my birthday nobody is there to wish me except 2-3 people. People always found me uninteresting and witty. I feel like God has cursed me in some sort
I told my mom that even I'm ready for marriage just to escape loneliness. Now my mom is saying "Searching brides in our community is extremely tough, if you have any girlfriends or love let me know, we can talk" I mean WTF hell. Ppl hardly talk to me. How the holy hell will I get a girlfriend and marry her? Even my college friends hardly message me. I cry almost on all weekends with loneliness and sudden depression. Is there any hope left?
Hey man, I can relate with you on lot of things. It ain't easy, it always feels like no matter what you do, being your true self, you'd never vibe with anyone.
I have been there, I haven't fully recovered truly. But, the way I am trying to solve this is -
- Try to connect with whatever friends you have
- Try to talk to the acquaintances and see if there's any common point based on which you'd like to build the relationship
- Dropping my pride/sense of entitlement. I was always like, why very few people wish me on birthday, why no one asks me to roam around with them during weekends etc etc. I start doing the opposite. I don't think what they can do for me, I see what I can do for them. So, if I want to go out, I'd check with someone who I believe would enjoy something like that. Across interactions, I'd Try to take interest in what they are doing, find ways to help them out.
All these things aren't easy, like DSA, you'd have to put lot of inputs initially to get some result. Once you get to an inflection point, you'd be able to get better and better.
Oh and yes, what I found out are -
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Don't lose your self confidence, if you yourself don't respect/enjoy your own company, others can see it and they'd not enjoy being with you
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Don't be so much involved in others lives that you forget your own life goals and priorities.
Give it time and be cheerful that you are taking steps to be better.
I wish you all the best!
Hear Premanand ji
Change only happens when the pain of how you are right now is more than the pain of changing yourself..
I hope you get what I am saying..
Live long and prosper 🙌🏻
When is your birthday? Apart from that, try finding someone lowkey, who matches your thought process, someone from your community or office . You have to talk! No one else can spoon feed you in a relation. Go meet the team, Try sharing your thoughts(baby steps at a time)!
