My current salary is 42LPA. I am from IIT, have 7 years of experience and work in product. Honestly, my value in the market is higher than what I’m being paid but I am very demotivated to optimise for that. When I do see less deserving people minting more money, I feel that I am doing injustice to myself and playing the wrong hand.
More and more though, the thought of earning more money chokes me a bit. I have dreams of building something of my own - that gives me control to build something my way and freedom to live my life as per my terms. But the mindset of “zyada paisa pareshaani hai” doesn’t leave me.
My family also is not dependent on me and whatever is needed from my side, I actively contribute to. I also lack any motivation to focus on my investments and see my money grow. I just have money sitting around in my bank account purely for nothing
I also look at my lifestyle choices from time to time and go into existential debate of why we need the things that we do. This has come to a point where I really do not understand my relationship with money and why we earn and spend it.
For me at this point, it’s just a show for the world. There’s very little that you need, and really no limit to what you want to show. And I just don’t see a point in it anymore.
What's your perceived market value that's causing you so much distress?
My peers are earning 55-70.
I can empathise with you. Do you have any hobbies? Things you do to switch off and occupy yourself completely, while losing track of time?
There's no real point to money and at the same time, it's one of the most important things around which our society is structured. You won't find answers on grapevine of all places. I'd be happy to recommend some books if you'd like.
If you don't want to make more, don't. If you want to start your own thing, work weekends to throw up something on bubble.io and ask friends for feedback.
Hey @Hungryninja
Extremely relatable and very beautiful write up
I get the trouble you face. When you’ve almost figured out what you like and what you don’t like (that money isn’t thaaat needle moving, I have basic needs) but at the same time, the opportunity cost of relaxing is too high - everybody from your batch will remind you of how far you can go, and the middle class boy in you will find it difficult to stomach letting go of all the money, even though you can make it
Went through this at one point. I have ultimately sided with money. I cannot sit back and relax. Money will only unlock a lot of foreign travel and good lifestyle for me. But more than that, I am lucky to be in a position that allows me to earn money easier than other people do. So I’ll make it, help extended family and people who cannot earn as easily, because at least in a country like India, it’s almost a responsibility. We’re not fucking Europe.
I’ll just not kill myself for it as much as I used to :)
But also, if the last point does not relate to you that much, you should stick to taking it slightly easy
But just completely own it. Don’t be caught being in the middle for too long, the middle is always the worst place to be.
Thanks for this compassionate message. Really helped me widen my perspective. Really liked “the middle is always the worst place to be” :)
It feels less like rant / demotivation message, more of showoff saying I earn this much and enjoy life to fullest.
Maybe. It’s sad though that I feel perplexed with this thought.
Don’t you feel that jumping ranks and getting more package is the way people think of progressing in their career? Or is my understanding incorrect?
That's a sad way to look at a career. Sure, with promotions and money, you can count yourself as a great professional. But there's millions of people like that who stand for nothing. Maybe work for shit you believe in?
By the things that you’ve listed, you’re exactly where you deserve to be. The whole “less deserving people making more” is cope. And it seems like you’ve accepted defeat. It’s okay, nothing wrong with that - but stop vilifying people who actually want to do something with their lives.
Wow that hurt.
I might have been wrong in writing the less deserving people thing, but you do get what you ask for. When I feel that money is a problem, asking for more becomes an internal issue.
Writing all of this also doesn’t mean that I do not want to do anything with my life - just that my purpose is maybe not to earn more money which is the socially acceptable answer really.
You can also try to be a little compassionate, it took me some courage to accept my feelings about money and write on an anonymous platform too. Nothing really for me to gain here by secretly boasting.
Humblebrag
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