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SillyBagel
SillyBagel
Stealth

Need serious advice on love marriage

Hey everyone, I am in a relationship for more than 8 years now. I am a software engineer at a big tech and earning more than 1L+ per month. I love what I do and always wanted to be a software engineer. I never thought of doing any type of govt job in my life. My girlfriend's mother is forcing her to marry to other guy and not me because she thinks society will make fun of them. My girlfriend don't have the courage to tell to her father as he is also strict. Now they started giving excuse that I don't have govt job and they only want to marry her to a govt job guy. Its not there mistake actually, her parents are not educated and haven't seen much beyond this govt jobs thing. But the thing that started hurting me that my girlfriend is not supporting me at all. Most of the time she starts blaming me and say If I had actually loved then I would have prepared for govt jobs. She is also doing a pvt job in a govt hospital and earning 15k per month. But I was always supportive for her and always told her that I am proud of you for whatever you do. Even after 8 years of relationship if she can't even respect my life choices then what is the point of such love. Due to all these discussions I started having self doubts. I no longer feel proud whenever I say I am a software engineer. All the time I am just depressed. If I am just following my passion and working hard so that we can have a luxury lifestyle in future, then how it means that I dont love her. My mother and sister supports my job always and proud of me but I also wanted same from my partner.

3mo ago
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BubblyMarshmallow
BubblyMarshmallow
Khatabook3mo

Walk away... wake up to reality.. its not about respecting life choices, she is clearly manipulating you.. also dont marry a girl earning 15k, the current lot of girls can't fit in traditional roles, and you would want a partner who would make your life comfortable not use you as an atm. Also you will still be judged traditionally..so reciprocate not just love but also respect.

SillyBagel
SillyBagel
Stealth3mo

Thanks for the advice 🙂. I am planning to just leave the decision on her.

FluffyWaffle
FluffyWaffle
Lowe's3mo

Well if someone does not have courage to fight for you just leave them asap

SillyBagel
SillyBagel
Stealth3mo

Thanks for the advice 🙂

JumpyHamster
JumpyHamster
Stealth3mo

Some people learn the hard way.This is short term thinking by your GF driven by fear. Just make her realise that before you move away

JazzyRaccoon
JazzyRaccoon
Stealth3mo

Love marriage comes with tough choices.

Your gf in this case is putting it on you for things she need to handle. She needs to convince her family about you and your career stability but if she is not then its not worth the fight.

I will suggest you to walk away from her and give yourself enough time to move on!

Be proud of what you have achieved! Nobody helped in becoming who you are, no body has right to demean you.

MagicalDonut
MagicalDonut
Stealth3mo

If she is not able to understand you, support you just leave and don't depress you will get a better partner than her because you are having a good job in software. I will suggest looking for a girl in the same profession otherwise in the long term it will create problems.

PerkyPretzel
PerkyPretzel
Stealth3mo

Tbh She isnt even worth of this post

ZestyPretzel
ZestyPretzel
Freelancer3mo

Honey, plain an simple, you have two choices: If she is supportive: Option 1: Elope Option 2: File a court case or FIR. Its probably illegal to get force someone to marry another. If she isn't supportive: Option 1: pack your bags and move on. She ain't worth it.

DerpyPancake
DerpyPancake
Stealth2mo

Brother, if your wife is not supporting your choices right now, she would not do it even after getting married.

My colleague had 7 years of relationship, she moved on due to issues she noticed with her partner, she confronted him, they mutually broke up, it took her 1 year to come out of that relationship sadness/missing part. She is married to a mature guy now, who respects her career and they both are living happily.

In my opinion, if she was with her previous partner, maybe she would not have been this much happy and content with her life and choices. She made a good decision of moving on.

BubblyNugget
BubblyNugget
UBS2mo

Massive red flag if someone is forcing you to switch your profession altogether.

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