Relationship advice
I had been dating for 6 years and everything was going well until one day he wanted to breakup without giving any proper reason. After 10 days he confessed that he cheated on me and does not want to continue the relationship. I was shocked. He did not give me any closure even on begging him. Didn't pick my calls blocked me from everywhere. He was not even guilty. I was traumatized and heart broken. I wanted to end my life. I took various therapy sessions and after so many months I am doing little better now. I still miss him and think that what went wrong and why he did this with me. We are in no contact since then. I got to know from mutual friends that he has started dating the one whom he hooked up with in club.
I don't trust men anymore. I am scared and have lots of insecurities. Should I give love second chance or should I settle for arranged marriage after sometime? I want only long term serious relationship but not able to trust anyone and somewhere I still miss him.
Can you all please suggest me what should I do?
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take your time, it will heal everything
also if you want to move on faster, make him the villain in your story
trying to find out "the why" is not gonna help, it doesn't exist, he did what he did, reasons doesn't matter at all
make peace with it as soon as possible
Thank you
Well Suggested bro
Adding some points
Dont hurry on anything like 2nd relationship or marriage.
Take time and just stop trying to find reason like what when how why. Just focus on yourself, upgrade yourself hangout with friends and family.
Just because one person don't conclude entire world, lot's of things to explore and different kind of people you are going to meet. Just focus on your peace.
**These are just my thoughts **
Honestly, I want to say that majority of the men are same. I’m a man and I’m no different. But I’ve seen some guys who are truly dedicated to one woman. That type of men are quite rare and most of women might not find such men in their lifetime but it is what it is.
I’m not justifying the reasons for his cheating. No! Please don’t get me wrong. I feel in general most of men cannot truly dedicate to one person. I don’t know why that is the case.
Maybe it’s a part of our upbringing. (I’m not saying that it’s our parents’ fault. No!) they did everything to the best of their knowledge and powers.
As much as I agree that cheating is wrong, I also want to state that ending the life is and never should be the solution.
Coming down to arranged marriages. I truly believe that it could help. People often find a good person upon arranged marriage.
Do whatever you must but always think from a neutral perspective before taking any action.
Thank you so much for providing your perspective.
Well Its Ok. There is nothing to worry about. Just consider it as a bad phase and let it not affect you. Understand through this example- you learn to drive car and you are very decent driver like really great. One day, somehow you met with an accident and you got some injuries fortunately you saved but still that moment terrifies you. Should you drive once again or consider cabs or autos etc.? I don't think so it is a bad phase of someone's life and it doesn't mean we can not drive once again. Thus learn from this and try to not repeat mistakes. We all humans have our self learning experience and if you seek any flaw just leave the other person. Why i am saying this because there are very less people whom we can trust its actually. I have seen my friends dating lots of girls. So i suggest you should try and go into relationship and everytime just have some check and balances. I just say comfortably talk to males, comfort them and you will see real personality and based on that make your decision. Retreating yourself from driving the car is not a solution mam
Very well explained through the example. I am scared to give love second chance because what if it ends like this.
I feel so sorry for him for his loss its none of your loss girl to lose a boy like him he wasn't even a man.
Its true yaar Good guys are rare. Loyality honesty is the least expectations and in ur case after 6 year they cheated on u. Seriously, u will get trust issues. But the thing is u have to try moving on and try to date other guys. Thats how u move on.
however serious it may be and however long term it may be.. always remember that he cheated on you and it's not your faults..you don't need closure or explanations, cheating covers that he's only the bastard... You will grow from here, take your time... and don't think about taking your life n all, its not worth it.. focus on yourself, try different things as you feel.. make new friends and hobbies... that helps alot.. in the relationship we always tend to ignore the ones who are constantly reaching out to us or even our own self... probably now you will know about yourself more..
You are right, I always ignored myself. Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me.
I would say, that person is so pathetic and coward who ran away from facing you. And for him if you don't matter, he shouldn't matter for you too.
At this time, you need good friends. And stop thinking about love from one person, just cherish what you already have, friends, parents, siblings.
Also if you need friend, I am also from Cognizant, but sadly, leaving Cognizant soon.
So if you want a new friend, I am up for it. You cam DM me.
At last I would say, leave the guy, stop thinking about that time, the tike you used to think was full of fragrance is now a toxic memory, so no need to have toxicity after being fully aware. Keep your life happy, simple and peaceful.
Thanks buddy. I definately need good friends to overcome this.
