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Rate/Suggest feedback on the cold email

I usually customise the content of the email depending on the Job Description/Company or person I'm sending to. But this is what it generally looks like. How would you rate this based on content, length and appeal to the sender???

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salt

Gojek

9 months ago

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salt

Gojek

9 months ago

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SirLewisHamilton

IBM

9 months ago

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