Women on GV - how do you find the right guy?
I've been seeing a lotta posts where men are venting about not being able to find the right girl, so just wanted to know whether it's the same for women too Here in Bangalore its hard to find a quality guy smh, (emphasis on quality). Dating apps are a dead end and even when you have organic “meet cutes” the men end up saying they want something casual and don't want to commit. How do you deal with this? Or rather, how do you distract yourself from these kinda feelings? P.S: don't come at me saying “its harder for men” - I'm sure it is lol I just want to know if there are women who also resonate with what I feel.
I’m 25M, and I know that it’s not my place to comment here, but the thing is, even guys find hard to find girls, particularly your good old ‘nice guys’. Nice guys don’t get a match, and cocky guys somehow play their games, woo girls, and then disappoint them.
I don’t intend to boast, but I’m what you would describe as a ‘nice guy’. Matched with a girl, did flirt a little on chat, took her out 2 times, wasn’t very clingy to her, dropped her home the 2 times it got late, didn’t initiate any nasty conversation at all, never even touched her, and now I’m ghosted by her. The girl did reciprocate in a good way initially, but then idk what happened. My demeanour is what people would call ‘formal’.
Frostygig5
Stealth
8 months ago
She found another person typical thing of dating app
@HarveySpecter87 yeah i understand what guys go through, looks like we just gotta stay at it and keep hoping for the best
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BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
8 months ago
Given up! 😂
I was such a "mujhe shaadi karne ka bada shauk" girl, but now I am starting to see relationships are farce
@BiryaniEnthu yeah right now i feel like Geet in Jab we Met but the sad version 🫠
VioletCabin
Stealth
8 months ago
BiryaniEnthu u r F?
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AstroBubbles
Stealth
8 months ago
Definitely, very tough to find a good guy who doesn't want a casual relationship. Dating apps are shit. Not 1 among 500 likes would actually say they want something serious. Cz guys have nothing to lose in a casual relationship, it's women who have a lower hand (cz biology!)
@AstroBubbles yeah exactly! Who cares if you get 1000+ likes if even one of em isn't the right match for you?
satan
Stealth
8 months ago
There are no woman on Grapevine. Stop spreading conspiracy theory. There are only apache helicoptor!
Bandya
Stealth
7 days ago
Yeah it’s a myth 😂😂😂
nextdoordisneykid
Student
8 months ago
F here, we are looking for guys who give an equal importance to our career and life trajectories and not just put us on a pedestal on the basis of how we look (although I do consider it as an important catalyst). i am surprised how guys are okay with girls who supposedly have no ambitions at all. feel free to let me know what everyone here thinks about this!
Umadbro
Stealth
8 months ago
Not from Bangalore so can’t comment on the scene there. Just to add a point, guys are okay with unambitious girls simply because ambition in anyone(not just girls) is pretty rare. And ambition scares those (and creates envy in) people are not ambitious themselves.
@OnlyLimo i so agree with this oh my god, I had my ex break up with me and one of the reasons was because he was insecure about how I made more money than him and he said it felt “emasculating” 🙊
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shakalaka
Stealth
8 months ago
Dating sites are the most unlikely place for finding serious relationship. You need to rediscover yourself by sheding your false ego created self to find the right person or "the one" if you really really get lucky. Saying this from my own experience.
Yeah I'm currently in my self discovery phase, I'm decentering the idea of having a relationship rn to focus on other pursuits - but hey we all get lonely sometimes right?
shakalaka
Stealth
8 months ago
You won't feel lonely if you truely rediscover yourself. We feel lonely because we are conditioned by society and there's a constant feeling of emptyness which arises out of a dualistic ego created mind. Once you transcend that you will feel at home . It's good that you're putting the work to rediscover yourself. It's difficult path but it will change your life for better.
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figuringoutshit
Stealth
8 months ago
The dating scene in Bengaluru is pretty f up. Alcohol & sex is probably being used as a defense mechanism to fight loneliness. As someone who has always kinda dated to marry and is still a little old school (even after getting cheated in a 5 year long relationship), I'd only say I wish you were in Delhi lol. Its so fucking rare these days to meet someone who is looking to put in efforts and have something meaningful.
@HumbleBee74 ive heard the dating scene in Delhi also kinda sucks haha, and I knowww its super hard to be a “dating to marry” kinda person in a world that idolises hook-up culture 🫠
figuringoutshit
Stealth
6 months ago
@Kingslayer why don't we meet whenever you're in Delhi next time :)
AstroBubbles
Stealth
8 months ago
These are worse than dating apps. Treating everyone as an option.. like they are put shopping.. "chalo dusri dukan me dekhte hai shayad isse better mil jae, nai mila to fir se yaha aa jaenge."
Marriage is a transaction on matrimony apps.
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PocusDweeber
Stealth
8 months ago
May you find someone through this thread only
Frostygig5
Stealth
8 months ago
It's the same for women too . Dating apps suck most people you meet vibe off initially forgets you after a period of time. I have just distanced myself from all of this because I want to focus on having a switch this year .
@FrostyGig5 same me too, just uninstalled the apps a couple of weeks ago because I no longer have the time or energy for that sorta thing
Frostygig5
Stealth
8 months ago
Growing up I always thought 💭 I will have one person whom I will date then marry . Idar toh pta chalta kitne types hote relationship ke
PinaColada
Stealth
8 months ago
Dating apps are just waste of a time. Almost all guys i have interacted wanted things casual or don’t want to take things slow. And arrange marriage meets are even scarier. Before I was like i wanna get married, now I’m like baad mei jaaye ladke log😬😬
Yep true I agree, but it varies from person to person mindset.
Getting a long term relationship in dating apps is like searching for a salt which you have lost in the ocean.😉
There is no motivation for a boy to initiate a long term with a girl on a dating app in india in 2024.
She can get any boy and they boy cannot get any girl.
Boy has to be good looking, well earning to get commitment, which is significantly harder for what is required from a girl.
So why would a boy in today generation commit if he is most vulnerable to heartbreak since girls have most leverage.
So flings, situationships until bored, then marry to anyone who is also bored and wants to settle.
Borosil_Carrier
Stealth
8 months ago
Umadbro
Stealth
8 months ago
Pretty pointless post don’t you think? Those who knew already found someone and have a busier life than to be browsing gv.
Those who don’t have no idea either. Many don’t have an idea about what is the right guy they want outside of some flimsy notion adapted from movies and books. Would suggest you attend a few single mixers in the city which are curated and have a good ratio. Regarding what women look for: remember that joke : https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5y0ay5/a_department_store_was_opened_to_sell_husbands/
@Umadbro nothing wrong in just asking a casual on an anonymous app though right? And yeah I've heard about the single mixers but haven't really attended one, let's see maybe this could be the year lol
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