Women your turn, what is that you seek in your to-be spouse?
Share your list. But Only unmarried women We did a men survey with huge response rate : https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb
FairyMermaid
Stealth
a year ago
I was in depression a few years ago due to unexpected events in my personal life ( I don't want to give too many details, but it is related to family. Nothing happened to me) I have fortunately come out of it, but I still take medication because I don't want to relapse. Not being condescending but I have a good profile, I have studied in top tier institutions (iisc) earning well (30lpa), not beautiful but I know how to groom myself. Every guy I meet be it through friends or parents is initially very interested in me, then I tell them about my diagnosis. They straight up ghost me. Most don't even ask questions to know more.
TLDR someone with an open mind and doesn't have a prejudice against mental illnesses.
We. Seek out perfection in others knowing defects in self, seek a similar person like you with defect which will complete you with understanding , nahi toh Vicky donar jaise halat ho jayegi,
FairyMermaid
Stealth
a year ago
The Vicky donor metaphor is way off, but yes, that's what I have been doing. Some guys with mental health issues don't wish to marry a girl with similar problems. They say they want a normal wife. I am not judging anyone's choice for a partner. Just saying I don't consider my illness a defect but there is a lack of awareness about mental disorders even amongst educated urban youth.
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Should have similar personality as me. Can't compromise on that. I don't believe in opposite attracts.
Honestly, “opposite attracts” is such a bullshit in a relationship, especially after the honeymoon period is over.
This only looks good in movies and books. You don't want to spend life with someone who is very different from you in terms of major aspirations, beliefs and ideology. Compromising means adjusting something for your partner but never your entire personality.
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AstroBubbles
Stealth
a year ago
Is not spineless.
Should make money, like me
Should believe in simplicity/minimalist lifestyle, like me
Should respect boundaries not be clingy.
Should have a positive vibe, not always crying or complaining about little things.
Being cool headed, open minded, calm, is a plus.
The taller the better. But not a big deal.
Maybe that's it. 🤷♀️
It's hard to meet people and have a meaningful enough exchange to gauge them.
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BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
Adding one, My married friend told me this
"Whenever you plan to marry, marry rich"
Friend told you wrong!😂
Though it does look like a smart decision, it really isn't
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
Money does take care of many things really
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Be good in bed, lots of guys are all show no go.
Good with money.
No in-laws drama.
Badbunny
Stealth
a year ago
Yes correct
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BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
I'm not keen on marriage, feel it is just add on of responsibilities that can be avoided in first place.
I do have some expectations though
1. Having my own house before leaving parents', irrespective of marriage
2. No kids, imagine someone like me having kids of her own 😂
Someone like you? We don't know you as it's an anonymous platform. You gotta explain this a bit better
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Empathy - Someone in touch with their feelings. The idea is that there's a safe space for expression and communication.
A strong value system - Someone who knows their non negotiables, has an opinion and a good value system. It's important that there's an overlap in how we look at expenses, savings, building a family, conflict, healthy boundaries etc.
Ambitious - You don't have to be at the top of your game but you take steps to better yourself. Also, money does solve 99% of the problems.
Has interests - Something they're into. A life outside of work. Don't even have to be a nerd about it but something you enjoy doing.
Baaki, you trust your gut and take the plunge.
@BiryaniEnthu triggering caveman/woman inside all of us by asking spicy questions.
GrapePoints go brrr
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
😂
Women still not giving out much.
UpsetUnicorn
Stealth
a year ago
That's probably because there are very few women here..
Good personal values system, ambitious, articulate and a little bit assertive ( for the spice in life 😌)
Guy here. Summarizing all the 90 odd comments I read (until now) for boys reference .
In the order of popularity in answers.
1. Make good money (almost all answers have this).
2. Less interfere from in-laws
3. Good in bed.
4. Feminist but not be a "Yes-man" or be clingy
5. Passionate for growth and career.
6. Empathetic
7. Tall.
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
😂
The last one doesn't make sense, but it makes sense.
Honest,hungry to grow and put efforts, can draw boundaries with his family, is funny
Should respect my career, should be a feminist. Add-ons would be matured outlook on life, and be emotionally available
samosa
Stealth
a year ago
what's a feminist guy according to you?
WheelOfTime
Stealth
a year ago
Compatible in terms of values (general outlook towards life)
Dont care much about money or earning
Should be kind at heart
Treats everyone with respect
Someone who is loyal and trustable
High empathy.
This is what I look for.
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
Why not care for money?
WheelOfTime
Stealth
a year ago
Making money is a collective effort. I am okay if my husband doesn’t earn a lot a lot but is a kind person. Someone who can nurture and support. Its good to have money. But not the factor I look for in a partner.
Seen many cases where within my own family, husbands are earning crores but the wife is just unhappy and unsatisfied (in general). Lack of support and love.
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Kuchacharakhlo
Stealth
a year ago
F here too 😂😂🤣
Emotionally available, decent pay, good in bed, able to listen to when I brag, less interference from in- laws.
