Software Developer

Attempt number 2 towards achieving a 🇲🇽 Find a guy who loves you like this.

Attempt number 2 towards achieving a 🇲🇽
Find a guy who loves you like this.

Bro isn't a red flag. Bro isn't a green flag. Bro is the Mexican flag!

Program Manager

Bro isn't a red flag. Bro isn't a green flag. Bro is the Mexican flag!- Grapevine

Fyaaar

Software Engineer

Men on GV: Ask questions on love, relationships and marriage!

Women on GV: Answer these questions genuinely and bluntly!

I'll go first: 
Heard about a married couple (married <1 year) and already separated (to be divorced). The wife hid her past and relationship from her family and in-laws. Husband asked about her relationships and she said she isn't in one. No pressure from the guy's family about marriage. Girl said yes and for months pretended to be excited about marriage. Post marriage, husband realised that she's cheating, excessive partying drinking, and smoking. Husband is in a disarray and suicidal.

Now I know there are both men and women like her (not making it a gender thing). But as a man looking for a partner/relationship/girlfriend, how do we be careful and what red and green flags should we look for, in a woman, while looking for a genuine relationship?

Love and Marriage

Generalist

Saw this flag in someone's bio on Hinge

Growth Manager

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I joined AmEx Gurgaon in 2015 in PoS Fraud Strategy as a Business Analyst. I was having a rough time at AmEx as I really wanted to pursue my passion of Mathematics in the US. I had secured an admit at Univeristy of Illinois - Urbana Champaign and UT-Austin in their MS programme and was totally checked out at work.

During my tenure at AmEx, I was mostly bored. Looking at internal tools and spreadsheets was the worst. This coupled with the fact that I was travelling to and fro between Noida and Gurgaon meant that I was commuting a solid 4 hours everyday.

In this time of mental agony, I met this charismatic young woman, she was an Analyst in the Credit Underwriting Team. I don't know what got into me and I asked her out to coffee. We went to the Starbucks in CyberHub the next morning and she was the most delightful personality ever. Sweet and elegant, she talked of her passion with vigour, from her ideals to writing poems. I left that conversation feeling uneasy though. 

She reminded me of what I wanted but also of what I was scared to lose in her. 

We continued to date for the next 6 months in a hush-hush manner to avoid any suspicion at AmEx. I had to start the process of getting my F1-visa for the US and when I told her about it she was extremely disheartened.

In my heart, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and life without her was nothing but an empty void. She came with me to the US Consulate Office, and I don't know what got into me but I kissed her.

I knew that I wanted her more than anything else. 

Decided not to give the Visa Interview and applied to ISB with my GRE score. Got into it and ended up becoming a Management Consultant in MBB. 

We got married in 2019 and welcomed our daughter into this world in 2021. 

I wonder what life would've been living in the US. But whatever it would be, it couldn't be better than being in her arms when we come back from work. 

Have faith. Everything will turn out to be okay. Trust the process

When I chose Love over my Career: My Story

Trauma bonding 👉👈

Consultant

Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way. 

About me: 
- Female, 28
- mostly introverted, very selectively extroverted
- single and normally attractive
- Jinxed when it comes to relationships
- Financially independent, Net worth: 1 cr
- not bragging, but I'm decently intellectual and I can have smart conversations

My reason to resist marriage is: I'm scared it won't work out and will cause bigger problems than being single. Have seen too many unhappy marriages in family and friends. Dating scenes in recent times have only made things even more unimpressive.

Convince me to get married

Founder

Red Flag to Green Flag

I was in a relationship with a guy, who never took me on a date, never gave any flowers or any gifts. Mostly message me and late replies. Has reason for everything. Broke up once but got together again because we were in the same college. Broke up again after college and again coincidentally landed where I live now. In this big metro city he is literally 15mins away from where I live. Again we started to talk, it is same thing now, delay in replies to messages and don't pick up calls. And asked to meet. 
How does this type of guy exist ??

Boys answer this...!!!

Associate engineer

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

It’s a question that many men want to discuss but can’t in the open. How do the costs of life split between you and your partner? If you’re both making the same money, is it 50-50? Or do you each handle certain categories of expenses without getting into the details?

Married men, how much do you spend v/s your spouse?

Posh Alert

Senior Consultant

The girl I’m dating is a perfect match but she doesn’t care how she looks. She could easily be 8/10. She has poor dressing style and awful eating habits so she started becoming fat. How do I ask her to change without breaking her confidence and heart? I really love her but this could be the deal breaker.

GF Doesn’t Care About Her Looks

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. 

So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise.

Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. 

Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.
I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running.

Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

Hey guys, working on my next app. Wanted some feedback on the app logo for Bhasha - Duolingo for India.

Problem - Design a logo which can represent Indian languages in a more interesting and eye catching way so more people will be intrigued to explore and learn about it.

Idea - Represent the diversity of the Indian cultures and all it's languages with different colours while the mascot is the Indian national bird, a peacock.

What do you guys think? What improvements can I make? Where and how can I make it more user friendly so people will be interested in it? Should I even make it?

Bhasha - Duolingo for Indian Languages 🦚

Came across someone looking for a wife on Grapevine. This one's for you brother! 😂

Fuck , what a waste of weekend.

story -

I am 27 years old and i am not rich enough like grapevine people. I earn 9 LPA and doing remote job. So parents started looking for girl for arrange marriage. So there is program arranged in our caste where boy and girl has to register beforehand. Registration fees is 500 per person and 400 for booklet. So i paid around 1900 and lunch is also included. This program invites all the prospects under one roof and booklet was given. Booklet has all the details of prospects.So registered candidates can have multiple meetings with different people. As you already guessed it this is problem of supply demand. Female candidates are way less and male candidates are way more. We have so many experiences like girl family just outright reject you on the basis where i live. That girl was doing nothing and have done  bcom. Also one girl family rejected us soon as we just sit for a meeting. Reason dad of female earns 4X than my father income. We had some meetings around 5-15 but hardly any positive response. Female family is able to do 20-25 meetings at  minimum and they can have choice whom to reject just on weight factor too. Shitshow out their for arrange marriage. We had a quarrel at home after coming from program that i wore some multicolour tshirt thats why we dont have further meeting. Also my parents are giving me lecture that i should have wore gold chain and bracelet to impress other people. 

another thing in booklet , boys has to mention salary. There is no mandatory thing to mention salary of girl in same booklet. Also girls are given return gift for just attending the function.

fair warning - rant on whole ecosystem of arrange marriage

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Product Manager

So as I am 23M planning to move to USA next year for my masters, i graduated this year and I always wanted a true genuine connection which I couldn't find while I was in college and i approached only two girls in college, one was herself confused that whether she liked me or not and there was other one to who I talked after college and she told me that she liked me back but she is in Mumbai and i m in different city so things couldn't work out unfortunately now as I am going there ,i really don't know what kind of person girls prefer , i am approx 5ft 8-5ft9 something , i am not like 6ft tall but I am good looking and don't want any kind of time pass or something like that , dating is like a game nowadays where both men and women hop onto different persons without establishing true bond , what should I do , whether girls there will prefer me or even if I approach someone in india then i really don't think that LDR is gonna workout without person physically present (IMHO) , i know finding a girl who actually thinks of long term , knows relationship goals is very difficult and even more difficult in USA 🙂
What should I do? 
Any advices

Is there a chance of finding someone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_6DFYmEM5w

This guy came from Japan to India, got broke here and he's found himself making money via content creation. He's found himself an Indian girlfriend. They are staying together in Mumbai. What are we seriously doing?

A lot of people think it takes money, physique etc etc to find someone to date, here's an testament to prove it wrong. All its needed is to get into another country, be broke and do content creation. That's it! Easy peasy!

Broke Japanese guy travelling in India got an indian girlfriend. What are we doing?

Ok so i was traveling back from home when my overnight bus arrived early at 5.30am at the destination. It was still a bit dark. I had to book a cab for my place but an autowala was very persistent on taking me to my destination and even after i told him 3-4 times (even rudely) he didn't stop asking about my destination and saying "chalo na madam" while getting too close physically. This man standing besides me had booked another Uber and his cab had arrived. After boarding his luggage he simply asked me "is your cab here?" I said not yet. He asked me if he can wait till my cab arrived and I agreed. It was just 2 mins for him but it was a huge deal for me since I felt safe in his presence while he even asked the autowala to stand away. He made sure my OTP was verified and then left on his way. Thankyou for making me feel safe.

To the man who waited for me till my cab came

Product Owner

Why is it that some men show too much interest in you for initial few weeks, like asking for ig and then ig messages. Seeing your stories just about the instant you post it. They tell you about their last break up they can't get over with but still tell you that falling in love is the most beautiful part of life and talk about wanting to settle down - until the time you show interests and hola! They suddenly change their verdicts - suddenly they're no more interested. Suddenly they get busy and don't respond to your messages anymore. 
My question to men, what do you seek from a woman when you are looking for some serious engagements. Whom should one trust with attachments?

Bro isn't a red flag. Bro isn't a green flag. Bro is the Mexican flag!

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