SwirlyLlama

Convince me to get married

Grapeviners, can you, with all honesty convince a non-believer like me into getting married and having children. If you do, my parents will send a million blessings your way.

About me:

Female, 28
mostly introverted, very selectively extroverted
single and normally attractive
Jinxed when it comes to relationships
Financially independent, Net worth: 1 cr
not bragging, but I'm decently intellectual and I can have smart conversations

My reason to resist marriage is: I'm scared it won't work out and will cause bigger problems than being single. Have seen too many unhappy marriages in family and friends. Dating scenes in recent times have only made things even more unimpressive.

11mo ago

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PeppyNarwhal

Swiggy11mo

You do realize that you could literally be the dream girl for so many guys out there? All you need to do is find someone with a good heart. The rest can be taken care of.

No matter how much you love being alone, there will eventually come a point when loneliness catches up, and you will end up in distress. Think about how you want to spend your 30s, 40s, and 50s. The answer will be sufficient for you to decide what’s best for you. :)

SwirlyLlama

Stealth11mo

I agree, this thought does definitely come to my mind - that I'll feel alone at a later stage. But the possibility of struggling with indian family drama after marriage or ending up in a bad marriage is way scarier. I am unable to conquer that. Too many failed marriages around, with very less faults of theirs.

FluffyTaco

Stealth11mo

I read this comment in Thomas Shelby's voice, 'Good heart' felt the weirdest

ZestyNarwhal

Meesho11mo

After a few failed relationships, I had an arranged marriage (at that time, it was just to fulfill what my parents wanted). She was a very conventional girl,, never had any relationship before. I was scared going into the marriage too.

5 years later, she is the best thing that has happened to me. She helped me explore things I never would have. She gave my life a different perspective.

I'm not saying just because it happened to me, it could happen to you too. I'm saying unless you take the leap you'll never know what you're missing out on.

SwirlyLlama

Stealth11mo

Trust me, it sounds like a fairytale 🧿 Did you face any hiccups adjusting to each other's families?

ZestyNarwhal

Meesho11mo

Me not so much but she struggled and she continues to. However I have her back when it comes to dealing with my family.

TwirlyDumpling

Stealth11mo

1 cr is nothing
You should marry because your career ain’t shit whether you are a man or a women
Your family will care for you and be there when you die not your colleagues
If you can’t find the right guy don’t marry, he should be decent enough don’t look for a prince ( they don’t exist)
Somehow the feminist have convinced women work is good and marriage is bad, marriage and kids is important for both man and wife

Money is shit and so is career, the only meaning you will get is in friends family and god.

I am a man and I might be mansplaining to you, work can go to shit and career can collapse, status can be spoiled it is family ( if you choose rightly ) that will survive the test of time.

That is why find a nice fellow who you care for and more importantly he cares for you and settle down.

If you don’t find ( which some don’t) 2 things, standards are too high or right person ain’t there.

Hopefully both things won’t happen.

SwirlyLlama

Stealth11mo

I find your response full of arrogance with strong hints of misogyny.

Was the question if 1 cr is enough or not? Nope.
Did the original post say career is more important ? That you felt the need to explain that "career ain't shit"?
Did the post say that there's dependency on colleagues to take care of me? I can't see that
Did the post mention any demand for a prince? I'm laughing as I write this response. You've clearly not read the post.
I won't get started on the remark made in point 5. You need to get your misogyny corrected here. The post did not indicate anything about feminism leading to fear of marriage. Read again my friend. I've explained what is causing the resistance.

I'd request that you stop "nonsplaining" cause the response made no sense.

TwirlyDumpling

Stealth11mo

1 cr ain’t shit

I assumed you were a 3rd wave feminist which is bad on my part I myself would consider myself a 2nd wave feminist

No you don’t get it,

Career is not important

Even the prime minister is a shit thing to be, we all are small specks of matter who don’t matter

Nothing matters

You work as a growth marketer it ain’t rocket science it is unlikely you will change humanity but even if you were Einstein your work would mean nothing if you were unhappy in your family life

But if something would, then it would be family.

I don’t know you, maybe you have high standards maybe you don’t that was genric statement

You would have to know me to know if I am a Misogynist .

I would put myself in misanthropic section

And If you did know me you would have far worse things to say about me

But you will know met to speak the truth as I perceive it.

You will soon learn as life progresses nothing matters accept maybe family

That is my advice to both men and women.

1 cr is a shitty amount to be worth so is 100 cr if you don’t have right person to share it with .

Also like in 1cr you can’t buy a flat anywhere so it is shity you should look into who is going portfolio management for you you should look into it.

Bohut ghor satya hai nothing matters maybe except family

😂

WobblyBagel

Stealth11mo

If you want strangers online to convince you to get married, and eventually do get convinced because of family pressure etc. you will most probably regret getting married. I would suggest waiting it out, because no matter what anyone says it's better being alone than being with the wrong person(which is way more lonelier). That being said I do hope you find a person whom you yourself would wish to marry and not require external pressure to do so.

SwirlyLlama

Stealth11mo

I have a different view on this. Like I mentioned in another comment in the thread, sometimes the best advice / experiences are shared by strangers. That's because anonymity opens up honesty. My parents will have societal reasons to convince me. But you all don't.

SparklyBiscuit

Tekion11mo

"Jinxed when it comes to relationships" Can you elaborate on this point?

SwirlyLlama

Stealth11mo

Fell for non-committal guys (two) in the past. I Became clingy as a result in both cases. Was young and needed validation. Later, I realised my own cringes and took a break from relationships for some time. The break has now carried on for 4 years.

SparklyBiscuit

Tekion11mo

If you want me to be honest, I would suggest that you first delve into understanding yourself better. Recognize your behavior patterns, break them, and explore your attachment style. Learn how to deal with it. By doing so, you'll uncover the reasons behind falling for the wrong guys and why external validation holds significance for you. If necessary, consider therapy. Find peace within yourself, and witness the magic in decision-making. Trust me, you'll love the results. Once you achieve inner peace, the perspectives of strangers on the internet will no longer hold significance for you.

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