SnoozyWaffle
Corporate is more about jargons☹️
I am going to make a jargon dictionary, please give your suggestions
17mo ago
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Curated from across
I am going to make a jargon dictionary, please give your suggestions
"per my last email" → "In case you can't read" "To reiterate" → "for the last fucking time" "moving forward" → "Don't try me again, bitch!" "I've CC’d" → "Let's see you lie your way out of this, bitch" "Kind regards"→ “Fuck you" “Warm regards” → “Fuck you”, but warmer
The worst of them all - BANDWIDTH
I took alignment from your manager for your bandwidth on testing the waters for that hypothesis
Top
Sprint 😂
It’s just ironic because I’m literally sitting like a lazy ass all week on the same sad ergonomic chair
And that ergonomic chair was supposed for a good posture, but...🙃
"Low hanging fruit"- Who do we sell to something rudimentary without them poking out our eyeballs
"Expectation Setting"- It's either my way or the highway, so might as well get in line
"It's of utmost cognizance"- I don't know why or how this work or activity should be prioritised but going to make it sounds it's super important till it's not
"Competitive Moat" - Here is one thing that we are doing differently from this very well copied biz that we saw on shark tank or TechCrunch
"Let's identify the right levers" - I don't know what or how something actually works, so let's experiment till we run out of funds or if we get lucky
"Double down on this" - I have a feeling if you throw more money into this, it will double the output. Naya scheme, 25 din mein Paisa double ⏫
"We are a sports team, not a family" - Well we will not be personally close and it will make you feel better when I cut you loose to improve bad hiring decisions, because that's what great sports teams do, they change players or rejig all for the good of the team
"This is an important growth engine" - Fancy way of telling you your work matters till they realise their thesis doesn't quite work and then well you are a cost center, gotta go buddy 🌝
Let me know any would like more, this was fun 😂😂😂
Also for the AI hype that's going around,
" We are an innovative AI first biz solving for 'x' " - We will have N's of humans do these tasks operationally on the backend till your funds kick in, try to build a model and see if a biz even exists without knowing the incumbents of Data infra or ML. But, did you read "AI" in our deck -Hand me that moolah 💵
Working at mykaarma?
@NinjaHatori the first part of your username is also a recruitment jargon. We are hiring ‘ninjas’
It seems I qualified the first round, are you hiring?
Because Ninja's can "sprint" for days without tiring or require realignment
