How to hang out with people without smoking or drinking ?
I have recently stopped smoking and I never liked drinking anyways. Do you think there’s a way to hang out and network with people without doing these things?
ChangelingBorg
Stealth
a year ago
Don't be judgemental, don't make faces, don't give any negative vibes with respect to drinking/smoking but at the same time be very comfortable in your skin and with your position that you don't drink. Don't be defensive when people offer you a drink, just deny keeping above things in mind.
I have some buddies when we hang out, they drink and I don't, still we have the best of times.
BrainDeadPM
Stealth
a year ago
Do you think you lose out on opportunities /optics when you refrain to indulge?
ChangelingBorg
Stealth
a year ago
Ah! Can't really control people's decisions can we? If their intelligence is limited to picking the one who indulges, I'll consider myself lucky to be not picked.
But at the same time maybe develop things with your personality (adventure, humour, knowledge). Pretty sure that's a hit person with a drink or not.
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AverageNITStudent
Student
a year ago
I dont drink or smoke hence I don't go to office party or any party or event which involves drinking or smoking so I don't care.
ArchGamer0
Student
a year ago
so a loner?
AverageNITStudent
Student
a year ago
Going to such parties, clubs or bar/pubs is not the only way of socializing in this world. I have a good group of friends who have different hobbies.
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Yes, yes. I will give my 2 cents here:
1. Get into hobby-based socializing. Now here, the entire game is how carefully you choose your hobbies because some hobbies do not naturally align with smoking and drinking on a regular basis: running, cycling, swimming, dancing, hiking, boardgames (because you are in confined spaces so smoking is ruled out, and most boardgames cafes do not allow liquor consumption).
2. Take a long, hard look at your social circle and do a ruthless culling of what/who does not align with the next chapter of your life. If you are looking for a healthier version of yourself, it will require a complete detoxification of life.
3. If there is someone who smokes and drinks and hanging out with them is sort of obligatory, then, instead of smoking and drinking with them, figure out what else is that they enjoy and do that together instead. There was one friend of mine who needed a couple of glasses of wine daily. It was a decade old friendship, so letting go of her was not an option. So I offered that we run errands together. Soon, instead of sitting and drinking together, we were doing groceries together, going to get our cars serviced together, and all the random, boring stuff. She found other people to drink with but our friendship stayed. In fact, strengthened.
4. If someone is not bringing a lot of value to your life let them go. Make room for people who are more like the version of you that you aspire to be.
So, how you visualise the next chapter in your life will hold the key to how to go about this.
Maxpayne15
Stealth
a year ago
Super advice! You don't need to drink & smoke to network / socialise
KosherKind23
Stealth
a year ago
First sentence of point 2 👍
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I struggle with this as well. Recently started working and drinking / smoking seems to be the prerequisite to making friends amongst my fellow colleagues.
I'm quite firm on never indulging in any intoxication, but at the same time it feels like I'm losing out on potential friendships
Can feel you, have been through the same, almost lost out on many events during the college as most of my close friends were usually indulged in one form of intoxication or the other, but then I thought standing by my choices and values was more important than trying to fit in, although being left out is also not a great feeling either, I can understand
I think drinking is tougher, smoking is still accepted if you just say you don’t want to as a lifestyle choice
With drinking - I think it helps if you’re extroverted and can be fun to hang out with without being buzzed
If you don’t drink and are low energy, it’s tough to be looked forward to in “happy” moments
Not saying this is good
ArchGamer0
Student
a year ago
yep.
Drinking at parties helps a lot with making new friends and getting laid.
Can speak with experience.
BearBear
Stealth
a year ago
Censor kar raha hu ki kahi Teri mummy ko bura na Lage ki ladke ke upar itne paise kharch kiye par baad me internet pe gali kha Raha hai. Haan Bhai milta hai Saturday ko kaam tere G me dard horaha hai toh bata
Most of the people who are serious and conscious are teetotallers... Period.
You can network and talk freely with anyone.
Nope. You are done.
Can list out 100 points of how you can be tolerant, good, open minded etc. None of it works.
You'll either succumb to drinking/smoking again or it'll never be the same.
BearBear
Stealth
a year ago
Bhai mere sath hangout karle, hum dono Vina drink kiye hangout karenge par khana acchi jagah khana hoga matlab bole toh tasty, costly bhale hi nahi
ArchGamer0
Student
a year ago
kya loner hai bhai tu
BearBear
Stealth
a year ago
Hu bhi toh tere G me q aag lag rahi bhai! Tere se toh nahi bola
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Been a teetotaller for life and never had a smoke in life. I hang out with friends as well as random people I meet on Twitter. No one cares whether I drink or smoke. No one judges me for ordering a Coke Zero while most around me will be ordering alcohol. If people don't respect your choices, they are anyway not worth your time.
Someone on Twitter asked a similar question and came across this awesome group of strangers that come together to play board games, trekking, cycling etc in Gurugram with the name 'MISFITS'
https://linktr.ee/misfits_manor?fbclid=PAAaZlVsjjn1-rXnyWNMNJxP3vazYn7p9wCjpARNQ4MgRCI8f_hXCznrsmjro
Found them quite good to spend your weekends with
It’s hard man. It’s really hard to hangout without substances or dancing or wearing shiny clothes
Pick up your Coke or virgin mojito with confidence and carry on the conversation. Don't think too much.
BroCodeComeOn
Stealth
a year ago
I do occasionally drink (that amounts to maybe 8 time in a year or less) but some of my colleagues/friends do drink or smoke. I've been very clear and stubborn with my approach of drinking so over time people have started to respect my decision. Sticking to your grounds works best. If you don't want to drink or smoke then don't. Don't fall for peer pressure.
PrizeFighter
Stealth
a year ago
Playing sports or games together.
So the key thing here to remember is that to be an interesting person, you first have to be *interested*. You genuinely should want to know how they're doing in life and what they're upto. Everything else takes care of itself if you act interested from there.
SuttaParatha
Student
a year ago
Will report back after 2nites party
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