So apparently my manager thinks that I don't speak too much.
And it's a bad thingggg, she says. I mean, if I dont have anything to say, I won't say it. I'd rather add value. I've always been the quiet one even during college clubs etc. Honestly tho I'm really not. I have things to say but man they honestly are dumb things. And the thing is? Most people talk about party n stuff and and I'm not a person who does small talks easily, especially online. Am I really wrong here? It's my first job. Educate me
The fact that you have nothing to say / contribute indicates disinterest. Also we all are people after all, nobody wants to spend time with people who are boring and/or aloof. Being likeable is an extremely important corporate skill, just like in life.
I don't think I'm disinterested in the work I do. I have things to say, the reason I don't say em is because I don't think they're really value add. Also my real work has JUST begun.
Trying to be likeable ;-;
The value-add is to the culture, stuff that you might find trivial might not be trivial to somebody whose life experiences are different than yours. The fact that you don't feel like talking is a demerit to the company or your manager itself. Customers are not just like the old wrinkly managers, they are diverse. And a team where people from different backgrounds and age groups can openly discuss ideas is bound to have a better overlap of the general market than a group of folks that are practically the same person multiple times. Inclusivity isn't blatant wokism done to impress someone, it affects the bottomline positively and hence will always be around.
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BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
Okay this may not add to solution but funny incident
I got the same review from my manager, he said you have innovative ideas and brain that works great; but you don't speak up, don't share them in meetings.
So I took his advice, and I would speak in every meeting (it was covid times so we had daily pan india meeting), and sometimes I did speak gibberish MBA language that made little sense.
This resulted in team unanimously naming me for being Country wide contact for customers. While I was very happy, this didn't come with any monetary benefits 🥺
Nope, you're not in the wrong at all.
However, it would be pragmatic to take your manager's advice on this. Especially if it doesn't bother you a lot. IMO, it doesn't make financial sense to alienate or push away your manager for this. Your manager being on your side is a massively important difference, even if they're kind of a prick.
Kamlesh
Stealth
a year ago
Here's what worked for me -
During discussions, agree with what you agree but try and add a question or two once in a while. Even if you might know the answer, just asking is enough to indicate that you're paying attention and are committed to the conversation.
Try not to say dumb things, but don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. They might seem dumb to you but might actually be important.
Sometimes people forget to ask even the very basic and obvious questions they should, such as "will our customers/clients even like what we're working on?" or "have we asked any customer/client if they need what we're making"?
If you don't have much to add to a conversation, the least you can do is ask the right kind of questions. It will also accelerate your learning.
I think being principle led here is actually a good thing. Does communicating better make you a better performer? If yes, then do more of it.
Perhaps, the mindless talk about parties is irrelevant to you. So, it would be nice if you could discuss about what do you like.
You really want to work with someone who is generally chill. For that, the disconnect is less than ideal always.
LetUsC
Stealth
a year ago
You should talk like your audience at least in corporate. Being cordial is always better than people just coming to you for just getting work done.
In your case just a few questions some exclamation here there would do. Tell them what they like to hear.
And then get on with your work and try to find friends outside. Office friends are just acquaintance.
AITookMyJobToo
Stealth
a year ago
Just say, Aur behen, kaisi hai? And move on to jira ticket.
If you are shy of speaking up especially during meetings, write it - emails / thought notes / etc.
Don't hold back communication.
Probably he wants you to take credit for you own work and also for making limited but good quality professional or business conversations when relevant , no small talk needed , show your presence let people know you have knowledge and capabalities even in slack messages etc . it helps in long run .
You can't be totally by yourself, try to pitch in a few times in a conversation with your team and otherwise. There's no such thing as small talk, find ways to initiate a talk once a while.
Socialise a bit, I'd say. Being all silent even though you are top notch in whatever you do isn't honestly ideal.
Being well balanced all round makes people connect easily, share easily and learn better imo.
That's just human psychology and not really an opinion.
OnADietCoke
Stealth
a year ago
It really depends on how confident you are in your skillsets. If you think that what you are doing isn't necessarily something that might have a huge impact then it would be better to open up and communicate and make yourself known. If your work can speak for itself then it doesn't really matter whether you communicate or not because ultimately they know the value that you add. In general an effective communicator is preferred over a silent one who gets stuff done.
If you look closely enough what matters really is visibility. Anything that improves upon how well people know you is what generally coorporate is all about whether it be through your work, your personality or simply being a cheerful person to be around (I am not exaggerating this, it really does matter). You need not say a single word but if what you are working on is mission critical then people will make sure to bat for you even if you are one of those "zen" types. It is something that will have to experiment and find out what works for you.
Kimchi
Stealth
a year ago
The book "Quiet" by Susan Cain was tremendously helpful to me during a similar phase when I was surrounded by salespeople in my consulting job who simply loved to hear themselves talk, and occasionally poked fun at me for being the silent one.
First learning in corporate âś…
Good there is someone who’s pushing you to speak up. It might look “stupid” to you as of now, but it will help you realise that work only won’t speak.
Skankhunt_24
Stealth
a year ago
Dude. Just follow your own code. If your inner voice says everything that everyone says around you is dumb, then it probably is, for you. You aren't even meant for these corporate jobs who knows?! But the biggest service you can do to yourself is to live by your own code. You'll find the right crowd (corporate world or any other workplace) where you'd want to not stop talking, wait for that to come.
Toph56
Stealth
a year ago
Are you a woman? Trying to find patterns of feedback here.
DesignTinker
Stealth
a year ago
Talking makes people feel that you taking part in the conversation and showing interest.
You can start by asking questions (no question is lame). Try to share your thoughts on the topic of discussion. If you agree with something say it out loud.
These things will help you in the long run. Best wishes :)
itachiuchiha
Stealth
a year ago
Start asking questions that might pop up in your head during meetings, even if they sound naive. That's a good start
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