ZestyBurrito
ZestyBurrito

Those who get periods, how are you treated at home during your menses?

At my home, when I am on my period, my life is suddenly transported to an era where I become untouchable.

This is how my life looks like during the first 3 days of my period:

  1. I am not allowed to enter in the kitchen. My food and water are given by whoever is available at home.
  2. I have to wash the utensils I had my food in, with powder detergent; only then they are taken inside the kitchen, where they are rewashed.
  3. The bucket and mug that I use also need to be washed after use.
  4. I can't sit on any bed except my own.
  5. My mother keeps a 2 feet distance from me and moves her feet away if I walk nearby, even when there is no chance that I will touch her.
  6. My clothes will be put in bathroom by my mother. Since a couple years, as I stay at home and wash my clothes daily, they are usually hanging outside on clothesline, so I grab them for the first 3 days. But on the fourth day, it's my mother who puts the clothes in bathroom, otherwise I will not be considered as completely washed to enter in kitchen.

Earlier I was not allowed to touch the tap because the tank is in the bathroom (old-style). If I wanted to take a bath or wash clothes, someone else would turn on the tap for me, and when I was done I would call them to turn it off. This changed after 7-8 years, when I got my period while I was taking a bath. I informed my mother of my period when I came out of bathroom. You can't imagine the taunts and drama that ensued. It was such a ridiculous thing to fight over, but thank goodness I won, partly because my father had my back.

Over the years, as I began to understand things, I started opposing some of these rules. Everytime I see an opportunity, I start a conversation on periods to change my mother's mind. I question a lot and implore her to answer me logically. Truth be told, it feels like I am a revolutionary in my own right.

I don't blame my mother for anything, because it's not her fault that she behaves such way or has these rules. For years, she also went through the same treatment, and even if she wanted to change, these mannerisms are now ingrained in her mind. Decade-old habits are extremely rare to change.

I know I will not be able to change all her ways, neither do I want to. I am okay with not going into the kitchen and getting the food served, as I anyway would not be able to feed myself given the period pain and loss of strength. But I will work to change things enough that I am not treated as an untouchable anymore.

2mo ago
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DizzyHamster
DizzyHamster

I have a dumb question to ask, can you move out of your Home?

ZestyBurrito
ZestyBurrito

I can understand why you would ask this. Yes, I can move out of my home. But I would move away only for my career growth. I get angry at my mother for being this way but I don't hate her. Although I absolutely hate how women have been ill-treated throughout centuries in the name of religion and culture, for us to still be oppressed like this.

BouncyCupcake
BouncyCupcake

We will remain an underdeveloped country forever. If this is the case in 2024 then no hope left whatsoever.

ZestyBurrito
ZestyBurrito

Hopefully things will be different once our generation comes into the parental role.

ZestyQuokka
ZestyQuokka

Ohhh my mom never believed in any of it. She is way too cool. But my dadi wasn't. So once I got periods while visiting grandparents, God the drama to even dispose the used pad.

Thankfully we are a nuclear family. All the rules I follow are the ones I want to follow (for my convenience). I get a lot of leverage from little work I do.

ZestyBurrito
ZestyBurrito

Are you allowed to go in pooja in ghar ka mandir or temple?

GroovyMuffin
GroovyMuffin

I don’t have a uterus but I’d still like to tell you that this shit is messed up.

ZestyBurrito
ZestyBurrito

Yeah, that's true.

GroovyCupcake
GroovyCupcake

I am lucky in this. My family never believed in any of these rules. Except one. We do not visit temples nor go to pooja Ghar. I am fine with this rule. But what u go through is vv strict.

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