Arranged Marriage Dilemma

Well difficult to say...it's a complete bet. But if you think you can handle her, go ahead. Usually girls don't know what they want and talk like this. Just marry her,,, love her ❤️ ... Everything will be fine

You can surly give her two months time, isn’t it? And if even at 2months mark (1-2 weeks before), her mind is not clear, then just call off everything.

Your soon to be wife (this girl or someone else) can make or break your:

1. Family
2. Career
3. Aspirations
4. Hobbies

If the girl is good, your life would be really great and you would be really grateful to god and your wife.

But but but, if it’s other way around - bhai tum soch nahi sakte waisa sab hoga. I have seen this happening to a lot of men.

Only marry if you are sure shot about your partner.

If it is not 100% yes, it is a no. Her confusion is not your responsibility.

1. Indicates she doesn't really like you as a prospect.
2. Indicates that she is still into her past
3. Indicates that she will not meet you half way and agree to your needs or your mother's tantrums (all mothers do that)

All 3 indicate that you should just cancel it.

No flak to the girl but you are not supposed to be her mother. You both are adults and should be mentally prepared for the marriage.

Going forward with one of them doing half heartedly is a recipe for disaster. You should discuss this among yourself and figure it out if you both want this. If either of you are unsure, there is no reason to take this forward.

It will probably be the best for both of you.

The poll results make a middle finger

I'll try to address each point on its own, based on my experiences:

1. The same thing happened. She was 4 years younger than me and kinda just started her work life. When I first called her (her dad sent me her number and I called to have an introduction), I sensed fear in her voice. After about half an hour, I asked her if she was actually ready. Turned out, she was afraid of the match she got before. In the very first call, that guy's mom took over and started rapid fire. You shouldn't be working, should do every pooja, should cook well for the family, do all the chores, give a child within a year, should always be wearing sarees and all that. Adding to that, one of her friends got married just months before, and she was being harassed for dowry by her in-laws. I spent two hours just talking about my uncertainties, and a whole hour just listening to her getting rid of her frustration.

2. My to-be girlfriend didn't have any breakup, but she saw her friend being tortured for dowry. She too was doubtful if she could form an emotional bond with me. We started chatting more, took about a month to get to know each other. Then her family called us to her place for an official visit and to discuss. I was able to cheer her up by then, and our parents (my mom and her mom) became good friends and she also started talking with my mom. We gave another two months to get familiar with each other and each other's family.

3. She also had these concerns, but more than me, my mom did most here. There were no expectations from my mom, and since my dad is still in service, it'll be just us two living together for three years after marriage. We even talked about postponing having kids for at least a year after marriage. Today, she talks a lot more with mom than with me, and I'm glad they kinda became best friends. We got engaged recently after three months, and she is now emotionally attached to me, caring enough that she is making sure I workout too.

We decided to take one more month before getting married. So my advice to you is also the same. Take time, don't rush head on into marriage. It is okay to wait a while, keep talking and then make a decision. What really matters, is your confidence, and that will only happen if you keep talking.

Good luck bro!

Postpone your engagement and give yourself and herself some time

Bro it's red flag , I don't want to see other Atul subash drama
for god sake cancel the marriage and move on