I turned 30 last month and I still feel i am a 20 year old. I lost the last 4 years of my life working from home and have started to go to office recently. I never worked together in a team, never been out for team lunches/dinners, never presented my work to the seniors/leadership. I have 4.5 years experience on the paper and my interaction with colleagues in person has been almost zero .
I don’t know how to do my taxes, can’t do basic servicing of my bike, extremely indiscipline’s, rarely track my expenses, can’t say ‘No’, haven’t upskill we and hence stuck in TCS, can’t stick to a hobby or interest, pathetic in managing my time, have no sense of punctuality, socially awakened, overweight with a pot belly and hence have confidence issues, can’t take care of myself in terms of self grooming, couldn’t maintain friendships as I used to get offended when someone made fun of me or mocked me- my inflated ego is just useless.
I can’t control my emotions, I sometimes get emotional and have tears in my eyes, I show emotions easily on my face, not smart when it comes to dealing with others, don’t know how much to talk to whom, whom to talk to, how to talk to and when to talk.
I’ve been told I’m pessimistic and highly negative about myself but I’m just saying things the way it is. I have no responsibilities on life. I’ll be getting married the next year and I know I can take up the responsibility. But I still have the fear of putting my fiancé down. I love her a lot and I never even would do anything to put her down.
My bad time management skills, inability to focus, getting distracted badly, being a slow learner, not networking, not having idea on making switches regularly, being too lazy and impatient to learn new things, not being updated in terms of on demand skills, tools , technologies, reluctance to learn something new and hence staying in comfort zone has screwed up my career.
I feel stuck and lost in life. I honestly don’t know what to do.
People who are self aware, know there is a problem to begin with, and that's half the battle won! By next year you will be a better person, keep working on the things you identified
Wow, you still feel 20, that's great man!
On that note, you still have 10 years or more to feel 30, so take this time to develop
I also agree that mindset of yours would be different from others but you'll pass through.
Secret: few of us are in late 20's but feel 40ish and wanted to go back to teenage 🥲
You are all over my friend, take a deep breath and work on one thing at a time with tight discipline, first work on what bothers you most.
Don't mix up two issues in one, seek professional help wherever you think you need
@boredcoder I’m done with meeting therapists man. They tell me to have gratitude. Eve thing I think I have causes me pain and regret. I want to learn to focus better and learn things quick. I want to be a quick learner. I’m 30. Have just 15-20 years max in my career. The way I am doing. I doubt my career will last for the next 10 years
Bro "Jo beet gayi so baat gayi" usse chodo or ab aage kya karna hai uspe focus Karo. We all keep getting distracted but still we have focus on things which matters like projects deadlines ya koi important event kuch bhi. It all about priorities. I also feel guilty when I don't learn or do anything productive in a day but wo din beet gya uska kuch nhi kar sakte so ab Jo next day usko prioritise karke uspe focus karna hai.
One thing at a time.
You can try taking challenge for 7 days and try to keep your focus on track for just 7 days and baaki kaam secondry kardo just focus ko sudharne pe dhyaan do fir 7 din baad already ek chiz thik ho chuka hoga but you have to keep that doing so that it should be deeply rooted in your subconscious mind.
Aise chote chote steps lekar you will gain confidence in everything in life and will be able to upskill. Don't think k ek hi baar mein sab badal Dena hai just one thing at a time one small step at a time. That's it. Fir 7 din baad batao how u feeling. Good luck
@Toni_satark This is what I feel man. I’m unable to forgive myself for not upskilling since 3 years . I’ve lost so much time. I know I can’t charge the past. Neither I’m able to forgive myself and get over it. All I want is to work in a company with good pay and decent WLB. Due to my inability to focus, I end up spending so much time in front of my computer doing eveyrhing except working and upskilling. Weekends are also the same. I’m extremely blessed to have such a nice, caring and understanding family. I have so much time and resources for myself but I’m unable to make the most out of it. I’m just wasting my precious time. 16 LPA at the age of 30 in a tier 1 city is ridiculous. I’m not saying I don’t have the capability or the intelligence to earn better. I am capable enough and have done a few notable things in the past. Not being able to make the best out of my skills, my time, the resources to improve my pay, my skills, work in a company with good work culture, being able to interact with smart and talented individuals and learning from them, being a smart , hard working, intelligent and capable person myself is afar I want to be. Not being able to do so bad having wasted my precious 20s by being lazy, lethargic, ignorant and dumb has screwed up my mental and physical well-being. I’m neither able to forgive myself, nor I’m able to get out of this. I’m just unable to forgive myself as I’m stuck in the past. I don’t know how to get out of this.
Bro from your reply it seems your brain don't want to get out of past and move further. You know your capabilities and you also know you can do it but still your brain is forcing you to stay in the loop. For breaking the loop you have to take action a small action at each step. If you allow your mind to take over you than you will always remain in the loop. So try breaking the loop by doing small things that's it or kuch nhi karna. One more thing you don't have to let go of the past you have to accept it than only you can go ahead. Rest is upto you how you want to go ahead in life "grow or shrink"
You know the problem here bro, you are thinking alot but doing nothing.
First, take care of your thoughts when you are alone,
Second, take of your words and behavior when you are with others.
Anxiety or sadness is natural but holding onto them for longer time without taking any action is an issue.
Adding to this, there's a lot of clutter. Step by step declutter it. Don't try to mend everything altogether. Start with something small and easy.
Things will start falling into place once you start dealing everything one by one.
@FlakySmolt2 I'm in a limbo. I'm actually in a state of shoch that years passed away with me not working on myself. I was mentally and emotionally disturbed last year. On top of this, I had a surgery. I lost a lot of time due to my own negligence and ignorance. I am unable to forgive myself and move n. I am in a deep regret for wasting my late 20s. I know comparison is bad but folks who graduated with me are doing so well in their careers, they have switched thrice where as I am struggling and taking so much time to prepare for my first switch, I wanted to do so much in terms of my careers and working on myself. Now, it looks I have to let go of few things in my life due to my own stupidity. I am doing what I must do to be at a better place but the pace at which I am proceeding is shameful. I've been saying since years that I will switch, work on my skills, work on my portfolio but I'm proceeding at snail's pace. it's got all to do with managing my own time, my ability to focus, take up challenging tasks and get off my comfort zone. I just get over whelmed with everything I need to do. On top of that, I need to loose around 15 kilos to look fit, I want to do it by the end of this year. I am going to gym regularly, have a trainer, trying to follow the diet but the very fact that I have 15 kilos to loose bothers me. I feel ashamed to have all these issues even at the age of 30 when people of my age group are sorted in life, have everything put together, are thriving where as I have such a long way to go. I know I have my own journey but it definitely bothers you when you see no progress at all. All I want is to be able to focus on my work, have clarity in terms of thoughts, be a quick learner and be prepared for interviews. I haven't updated myself with the current tools and technologies, my attention span is bad even though I have blocked all social media sites and apps. All I want is to focus on my work and learn things quickly. That's it!
Hi Grapeviners, So here's my story. I'm 27 years old. I've accumulated many regrets till now and it is piercing through my chest. My thoughts would be like spaghetti so bear with me. Never tried to be social. Made probably 3-4 friends i...
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