BouncyPenguin

Don’t feel to get a married life, feeling like got stuck in life.

I know it's not a good platform to share a personal story but wanted to express myself. I am a software engineer with decent earnings working in Accenture and going to join Deloitte! My family environment is getting worse because of my father's drinking habit. We are not able have a normal topic with happy moment. Every-time I tried to have a discussion it gets into bad fight. I already had a pretty hard heart break and only option I have is family where I am not able to make things right. I am feeling as a failed as a child and not having any expectations from future. I am tired of toxic environment not sure till when I can handle this. I don't want to have any partner in my life as they will face things which I am facing. I suppose leaving life alone is good for me. Alone and happy.

I know sharing this will not change anything. Just wanted to tell everyone keep your family first priority. Without family high paying job will also not give any satisfaction.🙂

7mo ago

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ZippyLlama

Oracle7mo

I'm in the same dilemma as yours. The only difference is my family situation is not troubled like yours. I had a heartbreak too and I do think that it's impossible for me to get into another relationship. Marrying someone in an arrangement will be a compromise which I never wished for. As per me, a live-in relationship before marriage helps you figure out a lot.

A lot of responsibilities comes with marriage. Marry if you can be the best husband out there and a best parent to your kids. Living alone is also not good for our mental health and living with compromises is also scary. It really a tough situation.

I too have realised that money can't give you happiness in the long term.

BouncyPenguin

Deloitte7mo

Yes. I am trying to sort things out but sometimes I think I got stuck into this. I unintentionally isolated myself from everyone even from family and friends.Hoping to find a way soon. Thank you so much for your suggestions and effort 😇

DizzyLlama

Google7mo

@DihydroOxide been there done that. live in also don't help.. if your family is toxic nothing changes that. u need someone really really loving u to go take that fall with you.. and there will be times when that partner says shit about ur family.. us time pe ego le aaye to aur problem.

SnoozyPickle

Advanced Micro Devices7mo

Similarish boat but in different waters, have a chronic recurring autoimmune disease. It can get quite horrible, don't want any potential partners to ever have to deal with it. I am barely able to deal with it by my family's support. Life seems unsustainable.

SparklyNoodle

Freelancer7mo

what if your partner is okay with this, as long as you both are in good terms with each other

BouncyPenguin

Deloitte7mo

True! I am feeling it’s okay to suffer alone than giving trouble to other person who is going leave her family for me. I can’t even see if someone is suffering because of me.

SparklyNoodle

Freelancer7mo

Your thought process is understandable, but but, what if she has some solution for the situation you are in, I was also in same boat like you about my Father's nature, he went to heaven before I get married, one night my wife asked me about my dad, I told everything about him and she was like "duh, this is not an issue, this can be handled" and told me how she would have handled the situations

Just keep trying till you hit the right door, easy to say, difficult to do, but better option than others

ZippyMochi

Stealth7mo

It's a very difficult situation to be in, your maturity is commendable.

There will come a time when your parents won't be around though, you can plan marriage for then maybe.

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