Another life musing

- "We will get back to you" over and over again - 2YOE getting 95LPA - Mom forwarding her friends' married kids pictures (dropping subtle hints) - Attracting red flags, where efforts have dried up - Movies and shows watchlist growing, but guilt makes us think we are better off working - Travel bucket is overflowing - Personal projects have sided in a corner, because that ain’t getting anything - Age is catching up and money is not How do you handle all this?! How!

Please respond honestly based on your experience. no words from books or random thoughts.

I noticed a pattern in myself. I chase a goal, I achieve it, be elated about achieving that goal for a few hours (A few days at best, if it's some really really great achievement), and everything feels the same again I'm off thinking about the next thing. Once I've got it, my mind just goes "this wasn't such a big deal". I got a pretty nice rank in NEET UG and also cracked the internship at Microsoft. I have won hackathons. I have overcome my shyness about talking to strangers. I have a lot of things to be proud of. I came really close to killing myself but have managed to live on, and this is my greatest achievement by far. I just wish I could be happy.

If you ask me, the purpose of life has to be more than climbing a self-constructed ladder. Like, it has to be more than a 3BHK in a metro, with two kids, a car and a prestigious job at a faceless corporation, 2 weeks of vacation and a movie on the weekend. Isn’t this weird that, we all continue to fool ourselves? When you know nothing matters the universe is yours, and I've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is an animal, it grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them. You know? Smart people get a chance to climb on top and take reality for a ride but it'll never stop trying to throw you. And eventually it will, there's no other way off - Rick, Rick and Morty.

Was thinking about our lives. Ever since you are in school, you have something to look forward to. When you’re in 1st grade, you know next year it’s 2nd grade and so on till you finish your undergrad. Suddenly, you could be everything or nothing at the same time. Those who are good at this game of eternal growth end up grinding their lives away in the PCM -> Engg -> B-School -> Consulting hell loop. Weirdly, the determinism in growth fades away suddenly and you see people finally pursuing diverse fields. Then, the realisation kicks in. You’ve been conditioned to chase eternal growth. That is what brings meaning to you in every part of your life. Today has to be better than your yesterday, or else it feels like you’ve failed. I wonder how sustainable that is but till then we will continue to throw our youth away. My 2 cents: You have a brief moment in history. Don’t spend your 10 years of prime in doing things that don’t bring you any joy. Don’t make the same mistakes all of us make chasing joys because others are chasing them. Find your own meaning to this eternal growth.

Generally speaking, I'm a little less happier than I was 5-6 years back. Is this the case with you folks too? Or am I overthinking/getting depressed?

I am 28F working with an MNC. Ive realised that existence is pain and there is not much to be alive for because everything is temporary- all the beautiful places, moments, and people. I am just a breathing body with lots of love in her heart for the world, but no emotional energy left to share because I feel that everything is fake and everyone is a hypocrite.

Not every time your life is according to what you think it'll be. There were times when everything was good, you can say I was walking uphill but now everything seems cracking down. Why can't life be just plain ?

Wasting time Feeling acting weak Not enough productivity Even if actions Not enough output on competitive level Losing every single day A turning point Where the shell broke A greater being was achieved For he knew The actions were the same always It was himself that he changed I have lost everything till now And I am the only one who can get everything back from the shadows But how How to work 20 hours of work in 10 hours How to work despite being slow, sleepy, low health How to achieve even after facing a mountain Everyone are the best around It was I who was the weak For the regret was not the action The regret was the shell not broken