I’ve often found myself in a position where friends/family are planning a trip or something else which is unsuitable for my budget and I struggle in saying NO to such things. As a kid I’ve seen my own parents bail out of things sometimes by clearly calling out the budget constraint and sometimes by making some other excuse. But unfortunately I’m not able to clearly say NO citing budget issues. I usually make some other lame excuses which sound pretty stupid at times (I’m weak at lying) mostly because I don’t want people to see me with eyes full of pity.
For example, folks in my closest friends circle come from a pretty wealthy family and even right now they earn easily 50%+ more than me so their plans are mostly unfit for my wallet. One time I had to refuse to participate in their trip just because of budget and I could sense the pity that they had for me at that moment or another time I could feel them being disheartened because they had to compromise a bit with their plan so that it could adjust with my wallet. In each case I felt really uncomfortable and since then I’ve been using only some other excuses to escape from such plans.
So my question to you folks is, if you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, how have you dealt with it? Any suggestions for me on how I can handle it better?
Having been in this situation myself a lot of times, I really got exhausted of trying to find reasons and ultimately getting convinced to join these expensive plans. These days I just say I don’t have money. Works best.
@MelonDesk Did you also face a sense of "pity" when you say no? And are you comfortable saying this to anyone irrespective of how close they are to you?
Used to feel pity abt myself earlier but since Im a heavily budget conscious person, I felt rejecting a plan is better than regretting abt no money for better plans. Ofcourse its still difficult to say no plans by ppl who are not so close
Best way is to say upfront about budget constraints, they are friends, they will/should understand, nothing to feel bad about it
@boredcoder And what about when dealing with people who are not so close to you?
Let them continue with their plans, you opt out,try to understand their personality and give reasons, if they are honest in nature just be open,otherwise you can give any other reason, you will get that experience once your time comes
Tell them directly. I mostly tell my friends that I am not ok with over budget restaurants or trips just for showoff.
I have made an impression in front of friends over the years that i'm very frugal, spend very wisely, and like to travel with very little money (the way vloggers travel) by staying in hostels, traveling in trains, eating local food etc even though I can completely afford luxurious trip
So i'm always in a position to say No to some trip that they are planning if i feel it's going over budget.
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