Introvert at Work Place
I'm a 25 year old introverted, not good looking person. During my childhood, I loved to play alone in my home without going much outside. In school, I've two good friends, good in academics. But in my village I didn't have any friend, I liked to be in home all the time. My parents was there so I never felt alone.
As I was introvert person so I never got any guidance for future. During graduation, I'd no friend while others were enjoying in their groups, making plans for future, attending seminars and many more and I'd no clue what to do, how to interact with people and graduation completed and I'd no idea how to approach people to get jobs or what to do to get job. By luck, one person told me about Infosys bulk hiring and I applied and got the job.
Now the real struggle started, I never lived far from my parents and suddenly I was in different city. Due to my parents, I never felt alone, but when I started going to office, I feel so alone, everyone have their friend circle and I sit alone all day. I tried to make conversation with people but they don't seems to be interested even my team also don't seems to be interested. My manager(she) talks to every team member but I'm invisible for her, she doesn't include me in anything. I worked so so much hard to feel appreciated for my work but ended up being ignored.
My introvertism, work pressure and teams ignorence is putting me in DEPRESSION. My mental health is destroyed.
I'm not able to connect with people which is essential for career growth. I feel that I'll be stuck in same company for my entire life.
I lost hope that I can make friends in my life. I'll be all alone.
No matter how strong I try to be but every night, I broke down, i cry a lot.😢😢
Please share your experiences if you are also feeling the same.
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Hey LittleYoda,
Firstly, you need to convince yourself that Introversion isn't a handicap. Many successful CEOs/Founders are fundamentally introverted. It's the act of never having networked much before that stops you.
I faced the same when I entered college. From never having conversed in English properly to coming to a place where that was standard.
How I did it: let go of any inhibitions since day 1. I would not understand stuff many times, I would ask them to repeat. I'd make sure I go to people, initiate the conversation (Hi I'm X), and make sure it's in English.
My grammar was always good. All I needed was a habit of speaking it, and it worked.
Introversion is never any issue, in your case it looks something else. I mean one can easily notice at least a few introvert people around doing well in life without much sadness.
You don’t get people to talk to, that is no reason to feel sad for introverts- Introverts spend time on hobbies- like social media, reading books, music, movies etc.
So may be you should first think why are you being sad, why are you over reliant on people interaction that it is making you feel so dejected.
One suggestion I can give, just be noticeably good in at least one thing, that will automatically invite people to come and talk to you. For ex, if you are great at professional work, someone will come to take help, if you are great at playing guitar, someone will come to appreciate or take tips, if you are great in playing indoor sports- say TT- people will appreciate and talk on that matter.
I also been there in same exact situation. I was ignored initially. Well I also get comments from my manager and team lead that I don't talk much and involve every time. I made some progress slowly mostly due to I was kinda good at debugging things, so they come to me for help when they are busy. Now I'm little better than previously. Try to proactively be involved in team discussions, helping other members ..that really helped me.
I can relate.Same with me🥹
try to have a short talk with your manager over career progression or guidance. Show them you are working hard. They will atleast notice. Understand that people are good. Just join some lunch group and start having lunches together if you are going to office. Pay for a chai or a snack sometime. It isn't hard to have a superficial connection with your colleagues. At the same time don't beat yourself too much about not having any friends.
Hello mate, I could relate to you. I know it's difficult to open up with people. Please feel free to reach out to me if you feel lonely. Wishing you the best man!!!
Same here. 🤞