Reduce Emotional Dependency
I am 25, Male.
A girl and I were too good friends. I fell in love and kind of confessed love to her and she rejected and stated that she did not even expect this from me. This incident happened 4 years ago. Now she is getting married to one of our mutual friends. And I am not able to process this phase. I feel low, for not being able to pursue her to love me or for not being strong enough not to fall in love with her... What can I do during this phase... I know hitting the gym etc will help me, but I need some emotional support here. How do I reduce emotional dependency on others? How not to fall for someone?
I know this might sound like "just another guy" who does not respect friendship or something. But can you help by commenting here?
One interview, 1000+ job opportunities
Take a 10-min AI interview to qualify for numerous real jobs auto-matched to your profile 🔑
Step 1 block her everywhere. Don't be available for her till your death . 1. Whatsapp. Phone. Insta. Etc. Step 2 Stay away and work on your shit. If this can break you. Anything can break you. Step 3.Take care of your family it's more imp than This crap step 4. Don't be a emotional savior or partner for someone Work on your shit.
Go for the Vipassana ( Meditation Technique ) 10 day course and thank me later. I have been there for a 10 day course and I can literally say I'm not more dependent emotionally on anybody. I see myself as alone in this World. Do what makes you happy as I love to travel solo and treat myself like a king. currently, I'm struggling to get my first job in tech. But I know the table will turn one day.
You can DM me for any kind of help regarding Vipassana. It's a 10 day course and you'll completely cut out from the outer world and you can't talk to anybody, Can't use your phone and some more rules. There's a lot of things you can only feel about going there.
It's just your love that makes anybody special, in this world there is no special person all are ordinary. In case of you This is your love and affection that makes that girl special just think like if you remove that love and ... Then that girl is also ordinary as like 8 Billion people in the world.
Just wait for the right time there will be someone who truly wants you and never let you feel or you won't need to ask for anything everything will flow as like you are made for this.
Totally cut off her presence everywhere. It is tough. Time will heal everything. Many people are going or has gone through this phase. Work on yourself. Do challenging things. I know its easy to say, but things will be ok. You will feel like your world collapsing but its ok. I had been cheated by my ex. And it feel sick. But that made mentally stronger
Thank you so much for this one bro!
Hehe I dealt with similar situation, Just wanted to let you almost everyone has felt this kind of emotional turmoil at some point.
don't freak out when thoughts keep coming and disturb you make you feel low, know that everyone deals with it you can too. These emotions come and pass just observe no need to do anything thoughts and emotions are like clouds they come and pass.
Anyways even if you were with her you would not be as happy as you think you were, either you would get bored else you would be worried about losing her. There is nothing anyone can give you at the end of the day.
It is completely okay and beautiful experience to enjoy your own company, trust me it is beautiful and has peace.
Yeahhh wonderful take to let me think on the lines of enjoying my own company! Tq for this one!!
Been there. Just do what makes you happy and you will slowly ignore this but will not forget completely. Travel, hangout with friends, gym/sports. Sometime someone somewhere may meet you. But don’t live for others live for yourself. And for emotional support just hangout with your guy friends and let it out
Tq for this one.
Did you have a GF before? If this is your first time experiencing attraction then the sting will be harder for you. Obv, do gym and pursue hobbies. That should be regardless of your relationship status.
Do remember. 9/10 time it is not good to tell other that you like them if you are friends already. If they had similar feelings it would have come out/obvious.
Emotions are part of life and that will be a missing part that your friends or family can’t also fill in. Best part is to change mindset, admit that your feelings might go unreciprocated and don’t take it to heart. Everyone has a type. If you put your self-worth in validation from others then you will always feel down when someone disapproves.
No quick fix, you need have higher self worth and understand that others disapproving is part of life.
Yeahhh absolutely true. This is my first time. And I am learning all these things and trying to look things from a logical standpoint, thanks to our GV community! ❤️
Please go to Thailand and Amsterdam and Ibiza and party hard.. do prostitutes and cocaine. And you will find your will to live again.
Haa, I do not like to do drugs/prostitution. But yeahh, I am healing way better than I thought, thanks to our Grapevine Community! I have awesome and supportive friends and planning a lot of trips and will probably be completely out of this phase.