Hey folks, This might be a long post, but I really need some insights. My sister and I have been very close since we grew up in a kind of dysfunctional family. She has always been my support system for whatever I decide to do in my life. During the 2020 lockdown, I revealed to my family that I was in a relationship for over six years, and my parents weren't supportive. After a couple of years, the situation in my family remains the same, and I moved out of my home to Chennai. In the middle of all this, out of nowhere, my boyfriend accused me of cheating with my close friend. Since my boyfriend didn't like my friend, I stopped speaking with him. Still, he couldn't trust me, and we started fighting constantly. Around 2023, we broke up. After the breakup, I realized that I had fallen out of love long before we officially ended things. I think I should have left him when he first accused me of cheating, rather than staying with him and trying to gain his trust.
Also, after moving to Chennai, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and that's around the same time I was accused of cheating. Now, I'm single and trying to recover from anxiety and the aftereffects of depression. Recently, my sister told me that she's in a relationship with someone, and I met him. The way he spoke to my sister reminded me of my ex. I'm afraid that my sister might go through a similar experience. I really hope no one goes through the same thing in the whole wide world, but what if this happens to my sister? When I expressed my concerns to her, she said he's nothing like my ex, but I can see some similar behaviors. What should I do? Please suggest.
Don't try to save yourself vicariously through your sister.
Don't be nosy and put your own unsubstantiated fears into her mind.
You have no reason to believe that's she's not a good judge of character.
Let her make her own mistakes and learn from life.
Unless you see explicit red flags, be supportive of her decision, like she was with you.
+1
You can guide, warn and support your sister. But ultimately it is her decision. Unfortunately, she will have to make her own mistakes and learn from them. You cant decide for her.
Y'all are going crazy, save yourselves all the sane people
You have already warned her clearly, that is enough, step back and focus on your own life. If something goes wrong in her relationship, no need to say “I told you so”, as a sister you just need to be with her, not be too nosy. Let her learn and explore her life in her own ways.
And I hope you have visited psychologist or psychiatrist, depending upon how serious your depression is. Do take good care before it is too late to manage it.
Hi All,
I'm 24 years old. This is my first time writing a long paragraph.
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