So apparently my manager thinks that I don't speak too much.
And it's a bad thingggg, she says. I mean, if I dont have anything to say, I won't say it. I'd rather add value. I've always been the quiet one even during college clubs etc. Honestly tho I'm really not. I have things to say but man they honestly are dumb things. And the thing is? Most people talk about party n stuff and and I'm not a person who does small talks easily, especially online.
Am I really wrong here? It's my first job. Educate me
The fact that you have nothing to say / contribute indicates disinterest. Also we all are people after all, nobody wants to spend time with people who are boring and/or aloof. Being likeable is an extremely important corporate skill, just like in life.
I don't think I'm disinterested in the work I do. I have things to say, the reason I don't say em is because I don't think they're really value add. Also my real work has JUST begun.
Trying to be likeable ;-;
The value-add is to the culture, stuff that you might find trivial might not be trivial to somebody whose life experiences are different than yours. The fact that you don't feel like talking is a demerit to the company or your manager itself. Customers are not just like the old wrinkly managers, they are diverse. And a team where people from different backgrounds and age groups can openly discuss ideas is bound to have a better overlap of the general market than a group of folks that are practically the same person multiple times. Inclusivity isn't blatant wokism done to impress someone, it affects the bottomline positively and hence will always be around.
Okay this may not add to solution but funny incident
I got the same review from my manager, he said you have innovative ideas and brain that works great; but you don't speak up, don't share them in meetings.
So I took his advice, and I would speak in every meeting (it was covid times so we had daily pan india meeting), and sometimes I did speak gibberish MBA language that made little sense.
This resulted in team unanimously naming me for being Country wide contact for customers. While I was very happy, this didn't come with any monetary benefits 🥺
Lmao, a pretty common corporate reaction to showing competence
Nope, you're not in the wrong at all.
However, it would be pragmatic to take your manager's advice on this. Especially if it doesn't bother you a lot. IMO, it doesn't make financial sense to alienate or push away your manager for this. Your manager being on your side is a massively important difference, even if they're kind of a prick.
Here's what worked for me -
During discussions, agree with what you agree but try and add a question or two once in a while. Even if you might know the answer, just asking is enough to indicate that you're paying attention and are committed to the conversation.
Try not to say dumb things, but don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. They might seem dumb to you but might actually be important.
Sometimes people forget to ask even the very basic and obvious questions they should, such as "will our customers/clients even like what we're working on?" or "have we asked any customer/client if they need what we're making"?
If you don't have much to add to a conversation, the least you can do is ask the right kind of questions. It will also accelerate your learning.
I think being principle led here is actually a good thing. Does communicating better make you a better performer? If yes, then do more of it.
Perhaps, the mindless talk about parties is irrelevant to you. So, it would be nice if you could discuss about what do you like.
You really want to work with someone who is generally chill. For that, the disconnect is less than ideal always.