Too much pain working in this toxic company 🤡

Here are some of my journal entries from the last week and I need strength and courage to leave this fucking place. Please help. 🙏🏻

15th October 2024 I sit at my desk, tired. It’s late, maybe 2 a.m. again, but I don't look at the clock anymore. My laptop screen hurts my eyes. PowerPoint slides blur, but still, I must finish. I know tomorrow, no one will care how tired I feel. No one ever does.

I think back to my first day at EY. It was exciting then. The office was big, people smiled, and I thought, This is a good place to work. But now, it feels like a dream from a long time ago. The smiles are still there, but they are fake. People wear masks here. The real faces? They are tired, angry, stressed. Always in a hurry, but going nowhere.

17th October 2024

I remember one time, my manager told me, “You must deliver fast, but also perfect.” It was a joke, but not really. How are you fast and perfect at the same time? It’s impossible, but no one says it. They all pretend it’s normal. Everyone does the same thing. We nod, we work, we pretend.

20th October 2024

Some days, I see my colleagues laugh at lunch, but they are laughing at me, or at someone else. "Who will stay late tonight? Who made a mistake on that client project?" There is always someone to blame. And if it's not me today, it will be tomorrow. It’s like a game, but a cruel one.

And then the partners, they talk about “team spirit” and “work-life balance.”Team spirit? Here, we compete, not help. You get praised if you show that you work hard, but if you help others, you are wasting time. Work-life balance? Hahahahaha lol. Once, I worked three weekends straight. My family was mad, my friends stopped calling, but my manager said, “Good job!” 🤡

21st October 2024

I see new people come in, fresh from college, like I once was. They look excited. But in two months, three months, they start to look like me. Tired eyes, late nights, drinking coffee like water. One girl in my team cried last week.

She said the pressure was too much. My manager? He said, “If you can’t handle it, someone else will.” WTF????

I hate EY to the core. Is anyone else facing this too?