Bangalore Community

by SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

Road rage, regrets and thoughts!

Not really sure if this is the right place to put this up but I wanted to take it out somewhere. I happened to be in a road rage recently. There was this Rapido/Uber biker who was driving rashly. I had seen him but didn’t bother and I was going my way. Suddenly, he overtook me from left and his handle hit on my bike handle. I shouted in panic and he was saying some random shit looking at me - You need to watch out, bro.. something like that. I was safe and don’t think even the bike had any damage but I lost my calm and wanted to kind of scold him for how he was riding. I followed him driving rashly again for about 500m and caught up and shouted at him saying - bhai shanti se chala or nahi chalana aata hai toh kyun chala rhe ho. And I realised I was about to head on hit an auto wala but braked on time. That auto wala started giving me hand gestures. He was right. I did drive rash. In the meanwhile, that biker guy went crazy. He got off his bike, took his helmet and signalled at hitting me. The auto wala was standing beside me and he asked what was happening. I said this guy hit my bike and tried to run away. The biker was speaking some rubbish something like - I warned you there also bro.. I went a little numb and didn’t figure what was happening. This guy hit me with his hand on my helmet. I didn’t get hurt but felt the blow. I tried saying something but nothing came out. He hit me again the same way. The auto wala tried to stop him. He kept abusing and then left. I was numb for a few mins. Left from there and reached home safe. I am just not able to get these thoughts off my head. The incident keeps flashing. I feel lucky to not have removed my helmet, tried to hit him back because I don’t know what that could have led to. It was clearly my mistake that I lost my calm and followed him in the first place knowing he was a rapido biker. I don’t know why I did that - may be work stress or may be some other trauma. I have been bullied at times in my childhood when I

ElonMast

Amazon

9 months ago

I see one solution to this, work on your fitness/body. It will help in two ways - 1. Give you confidence by making stronger 2. Will add patience, calmness (Weightlifting)

SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

Understood. Thanks much for sharing this. I must try this. Just curious - wouldn’t weightlifting keep me pumped up and I might instead feel in better position to get back to the other person? The biggest fear that I have is me losing my calm and getting into fights in the heat of the moment.

mountainsurfer

Stealth

9 months ago

Lifting weights will not necessary pump you up unless you are lifting heavy weights. Keep it in moderate levels so that you feel fit and gives you the mental strength that you can handle a physical altercation if needed. It's not of self defense need. However, do not get into a fists and punches fight on the street. Totally not worth it and most of us are not tuned to it. Also, knowing the local language helps us manage these situations better

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SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

I have been bullied at times in my childhood when I couldn’t get back to them as I always felt that I am weak and timid. When such incidents happen, at time those childhood memories trigger and I just can't keep myself from getting angry / fighting back. I have heard / read multiple events on how road rages can get escalated and I am scared that I might again not be able to stay calm in such situations and react aggressively and open bigger troubles for myself. How can one deal with this, really?

donna

Stealth

9 months ago

IMO don’t engage with these buffoons and let them drive rash and do whatever they want with their lives. They have lot’s of time to waste and fighting is road is something they do everyday.

SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

Can’t ageee more. Some times, it’s difficult to get why would people resort to violence so easily.

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Kamlesh

Stealth

9 months ago

Get into boxing or MMA. Helps you control fight or flight response. Helps to be buff, people don't mess with you.

EncryptedName

Student

9 months ago

My opinion: 1. Always try to avoid road rage no matter what. If your vehicle is damaged, insurance is gonna cover it mostly, and if not also it’s fine, a few bucks for repair ain’t gonna make you broke. I understand that it all happened within a few seconds, but always try to remain calm. You never know who the opposite party might be. You benefit nothing from the road rage. A Rapido wala is not gonna pay you for damages anyways. 2. As some ppl have already suggested, try working on your body. Trust me, it gives you immense confidence. Not just during road rage, but this confidence comes in handy during all walks of life. 3. In unavoidable cases wherein the opposite person has initiated a road rage, don’t get scared. If they shout at you and hit you, don’t get all defensive. Assert your dominance as well. Road rage ain’t about who’s more stronger, chances are the opposite person is not some bodybuilder. Don’t let them bully you, if they hit you twice, give at least one back. Again only on unavoidable circumstances 😅 Road rage is very common in India. If you have a car, I would suggest buying a dash cam. Insure your vehicles with the best insurance policies. Always wear a helmet while riding.

0case

Startup

9 months ago

Strong people always run away from confrontational situations like this. So next time please forgive and forget and run away.

MarkZuckerberg

Meta

9 months ago

Watch nocturnal animals, you will never mess on the road again. Always run, no mater how buffed you are, if the other vehicle has 4 guys in it, u r fucked and all it takes is a single puch to fall from 6ft on a flat concrete to break ur neck.

MaddDogg

Stealth

9 months ago

Well, had you hit him and he is still on his feet you'll still feel bad, if he is knocked out, you are fucked due to the assault + FIR. The point is even if you win that fight, you lose. Nothing to gain here, only illiterate hooligans derive pleasure out of road rage/fights.

Itachi97

Founder

9 months ago

I was driving on my bike along with a pillion. This was around Dusshera I think, we were driving on golf course road in gurgaon, suddenly a tattered i20 comes like an inch close to my bike and just missed hitting me. No problems guessing he was driving drunk, I was pissed as fuck and drove as fast as possible like you did and told him to drive in his senses. He started abusing and I calmly moved my bike ahead. The drunkard then tries to crash into every vehicle ahead and stops in front of me. And he starts getting close to the pillion, I kept telling him 'Dekh ke chala le' and he kept saying some gibberish. I then stood up and he really understood that i wasn't kidding and would thrash him if needed. He went quiet and then i calmly moved my bike ahead. In hindsight, I should've called the police then and there. But I do have a lot of trust issues with the police. One part of me still regrets not getting him caught but life goes on!

Itachi97

Founder

9 months ago

Weightlifting really helps, like many others have suggested. Helps standing your ground with so many goons and irresponsible people on the road.

SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

That thing sounds scary, man! Dealing with a drunkard! Would have certainly been traumatic for you and the pillion. Can totally relate to the police bit - I’m a non-kannadiga staying in Bangalore so the locals would anyway have an upper hand in front of police. Thanks for recommending weightlifting. I must try it. :)

BadMaiden42

Student

9 months ago

Quite honestly not worth it. You engage in it your day will be ruined as it is now. Instead assume that the guy wanted to take a big shit and hence his hurry so that will calm you down. If someone confronts you just stand your ground or call the cops but don't engage. I used to engage in road rage myself but figured out it's not worth the risk of getting followed, stabbed (perhaps if the guy is some psycho dumbass) or just having my day ruined. For others recommending weight lifting I'll add it on here plus pick up self defence and some mma or boxing as it also teaches you self control and discipline. Talking from personal experience

SpotlessAcid

ATOS

9 months ago

MMA but only for defensive strategies and weightlifting

RoundGolf

Student

9 months ago

My mouth is the worst when I am driving.. I hate myself driving in city limits abusing every minute bcoz of the number of times I see people doing mistakes/ violating rules. So I have decided no matter what, to use public transport+last mile connectivity (autos+rapidos). Earphones take me away from all this city chaos and I have started feeling better. From the window of the bus, I see people falling down from their vehicles or fighting, whereas I keep listening to music with a smile on my face no matter what. Peace.

LastCalendar

Browserstack

9 months ago

I think learn to fight and know how to take a couple of punches. So even if you won't fight you would have the confidence that you can easily finish this guy but it is you who does not want to engage in the fight further.

SebastianFettel

Stealth

9 months ago

Hey buddy, these thoughts won't be residing within you for long. Have been in 2 road rahes so far, both on my car - accidents, both being the other person's fault. I've lost my shit in both the cases and abused the shit out of them and been to the police station. Won both, but my mental peace was lost for days. There'll always be morons on the road. I live in Bangalore right now, and unless the chapri doesn't damage my vehicle I just give a finger/ a look, and imagine a slow and painful death to them (got dark, I know, but these chapris are just Bhoj on our Dharthi). This somehow helps me calm down. Moral- When you face shit like this - take your time, try to calm down, don't react way over what you shouldn't. If there was harm, note down the number plate, police is one call away. Ps: someone who's also been bullied quite a lot while in school.

SpeckOfCode

Stealth

9 months ago

True. Staying calm is something one should try to ensure. It’s just sad how people resort to violence so easily. Can relate to school bullying bit. As an adult, some times looking back, there are moments when I realise life hasn’t been all rosy as a kid either.

DyingFrog

Amazon

9 months ago

This probably is due to suppressed childhood trauma. Happens with me as well. Maybe talk to a therapist about it.

StormRage

PTC India Ltd

9 months ago

desh chhodo unnati Karo

Demon

Stealth

9 months ago

Its ok. Controlling emotions (specially anger and fear), is not always possible. You were in flight or fight mode then. You can try practicing some mindfulness once in a while. Helps you understand that emotions are just like cramps, its not something your body wants, but is a response to exposure to some stressor. You cannot avoid feeling things, the best you can do is make sure you don't act just based on your emotions.

Rickie_Rick

Acko

9 months ago

Someone’s breaking bad 😉