Fellow women, do you feel like you have to accomplish xyz before marriage comes into the picture? How did you get over the self created pressure?
I’m 25, and lately all of my long term plans (travel, masters, moving cities) seem to revolve around the plan that I’d want to be married when I turn 30. I know that might be later than most people but I have this constant feeling that once I have a family with a child, my life would be different and that makes me want to do everything before I turn 30. I don’t know if I’m being fair to myself.
FindingHorses
Stealth
10 months ago
Marriage is not the end of it all. Married women here 😊 I have travelled as much as when I wasn't. Why would u put so much pressure on yourself. Do what you want time waits for no one.
BlickCait
Stealth
10 months ago
I don’t think I’ve really given it a lot of thought over the years. Something about watching cousins get married and having children ig.
FindingHorses
Stealth
10 months ago
You don't need to follow their paths. You are your own self. For some 30 works for some post that.. I know there is pressure I got married when I was ready at 31.
My wife and I sometimes regrets not getting married earlier. Now it's like we spent most of our 20s without each other. Obviously there are responsibilities and complications, but traveling and stuff is much better after marriage.
BlickCait
Stealth
10 months ago
It’s really not just about travelling. Everyone seems to give travel as one thing that seems to not change. There’s also moving out, masters that I mentioned. Also few other financial goals, career goals, there’s so much
My wife used to think the same but I changed her perception over time when we still travelled and showed my friends who still travel even after having kids also.
Same boat, same age, only I don't see myself getting married for at least another decade and don't intend to have children, so I really hope my life after marriage is good too
PineapplePlant
Stealth
10 months ago
I'm in my early 30s, not married. I never had this checklist thingy. Now that I've not found the right person to be with, I'm starting to make plans. My point is you can accomplish things at any age. It doesn't always have to be associated with a certain milestone.
CrazyWild37
Stealth
10 months ago
Not a woman here but small suggestion is to enjoy your life to the fullest before having children. Then you will enjoy, but the whole feeding , sleeping and take care of phenomenon, even if you split the responsibility with a man, is simply....different. Then you wait till they turn 16 and can largely take care of themselves if you give very specific instructions and that you know the levels of all the alcohol bottles. At which point you're so tired of it all that you go to a happening place and then hate the loudness of the music, and damn I'm so buzzed after just one drink. So, yes, you're not being unfair to yourself. Be the wildest you can be for the longest you can before the biological clock fear strikes home.
I want to achieve certain financial goals before getting married. I have a small education loan which I try to pay in lump sum apart from regular EMI to become debt free and I am investing most of my money.
I turned 26 last month and am getting married next month. As a fellow woman in a similar boat who has achieved some things of her list, I too sometimes feel I'm getting married early as I've not yet completed my self imposed checklist but at the same time I've also realised that it's best not to get married because you've reached an age.
Marry when it seems right, marry when you feel ready and marry the person who could add to your checklist and not take away from it.
I still have a list of things to accomplish and some of those are with my partner
