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Adulthood

Although most of us moved out as teens to pursue our degrees, during college, one is surrounded by friends all around, and it's hard for loneliness to hit except for those 1 AM Nights. But as an early career working professional, for the 1st time in life, most start feeling lonely, pick themselves up cook their meals, and maybe apply to new jobs because you hate your current job. The first thought over the weekends is to do the laundry and clean up the mess you made over there is no one for you to come back to, no matter how bad your day was, you still have to work on weekdays. What I hate the most about this stage is the relationships and friendships, being away from parents, surrounded by people in the office but can't open up to, maybe you are lucky and make friends in the office but still, not even getting the time to call them, and having multiple colleagues to hangout with but the day you switch jobs you will be leaving them behind, just like your high school friends were left behind when you moved to college, just like your college friends were left behind when you moved cities for a job. You are aware and mature enough to know your mistakes and fuck-ups in the past but you are also chained in the shackles of habits you have made over the last 20 years. There is an opportunity cost to everything, do you sleep early on the weekend or party Friday night and end up being hungover on Saturday too, do you give your best to the job or start your master's prep? It's like a world of illusions that lets you believe that something better is 10 steps away and does not let you sit still in the present.

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by FunkySaint

Stealth

Advice on meeting new people at 35+

Hey Folks. Here for some advice… Context: I’m 37. MBA+Engg Grad working. Big Blr Startup. Good Role in Biz. Married (Started dating 12 years back & then got married). I’m an extrovert/fairly social (Mostly hang out/around other people/friends around a similar life stage - age/work). Most of my friends from School, Engg & B-School are all over the place (we meet once in a year types), no one in Bangalore. Hanging around with people at work is not something I like to do more than once in a month. My wife, on the other hand, has a good set of friends, with whom I hang out quite regularly (guys & girls). For a while now, I’ve been thinking of investing some time into making friends/building relationships outside of my social circle (Not that I’m looking to cheat on my wife, but then sometimes it’s good to hang out with people who aren’t your partner’s friends or are already part of your existing work/social circle). In short - I’d like to meet unconnected new people. And I’m realizing that at my age, it’s not so easy to do so without seeming creepy. About a year back, I met an ex-colleague (28F) over drinks (She was in town and asked if we could meet) - Super attractive and smart. It has 12+ years since I’ve randomly met anyone from the opposite sex alone for a meal/conversation (outside of a work meeting). At first, it was super awkward - uncomfortable pauses, loss of words, asking dumb questions, etc. Luckily, in a bit, alcohol kicked in and then it got much better… We still text & meet if we’re in each other’s cities with some time to spare. That’s when it hit me that I was good at making small talk, but have no idea what to talk about when it’s someone who’s some 10+ years younger. Seems like another generation (which it probably is)… While I felt so, I must also admit, I had a great time to be honest - the conversations were energizing/different and to be honest, a tad exciting too. 1/2