Should I rage quit?
I’ve been insufferable at work since 2-3 months now. Total time at my company- 6mo 21 days. Profile - Product Management My engineering team seems to be taking no ownership and always have their brahmastra ready that it didn’t come from product’s side. QA again is so great that I have to sit and thoroughly test each release end to end. My manager- he’s quite interested in taking my career fwd as a project manager. (I am not) He’s a total asshole and is quite concerned with start dates and end dates of tasks ( mind you, I am not the one actually writing the code but somehow the dates are my responsibility). He totally micromanages and somehow keeps blaming me for each small thing. Examples: - My engg team isn’t taking ownership: “you aren’t keeping them motivated enough” - This isn’t a last minute change : “Do you attend standups? You aren’t communicating well” - The QA tested and approved it, hence we released it. : “But did you test it? “ - Here are the release notes. : “This looks too jazzy, did you copy from GPT” - Here are the release notes. : “This looks too basic, did you not copy from GPT” I could go on forever. Gust: I am quite unhappy and is causing me unnecessary stress everyday. Also I don’t feel there’s a solution possible
notsure
Stealth
a year ago
I think you should quit unless you have a lot of financial commitments. Its great if you have a good runway for 3-6 months, if you dont it’s completely okay live on credit card debt rather than suffering at the wrong place. Do not worry about the 6m tenure, its totally fine leave if you dont like it.
Product Management itself is always kind of stressful by the nature of work itself, and you dont really want additional stress caused by these engineers and managers.
Market is healing slowly and it shouldn’t be a problem finding a new role with 2 months. Go for it, mental peace over anything
majboormajdoor
Stealth
a year ago
Market is healing slowly is so good to hear after a long winter.
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Thanks for the wonderful words. Gives me hope. And I agree, it’s better to believe in myself instead of being insufferable
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Did not read your post at all. Never rage quit. Endure - sharpen your blade and cut once and decisively when the time comes.
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Haha yes, that’d be the most satisfying response but I’m an impulsive and emotional person. Still trying to figure out the best way to give it back to them. Suggestions?
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human
Stealth
a year ago
Quit if you have the savings. Start a new.
if you do not have savings:
1. Establish some boundaries with your manager.
2. Try to get things on paper/email with engineering so that you can tell them when things were communicated. Make standup minutes if you have to.
3. Checkin with Engineering lead from time to time to see if things are on track.
4. Hold QA accountable for quality. Come up with metrics to judge QA's performance. If the graph goes downwards, ask for a better QA from management.
5. If they're able to absorb so many tardy people, they won't mind a tardy PM. Become one, for sometime, till you have enough savings to quit.
Everything above is easier said than done. It's okay to fail.
This is exactly my story. The fucking engineering background founders don't understand jackshit about the PM role and keep telling them what to do.
Fucking disgusting
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Totally resonate. My founders are also engineering based and have given the engineers a free pass to take any decision they want.
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CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Some updates:
I tried talking to my manager’s manager and got a hilarious response. It totally confirmed my belief that this is a toxic place where I cannot think of not quitting.
His response was : “Here are some action items from your end- 1. Smile and nod 2. Just say thanks for the feedback, 3. These things happen, don’t fret over it’
So I smiled and said thanks (with fuck you under my breath)
I have decided to stay in the company and make full use of my perks.
1) Do just the bare minimum
2) Attend every call 5-10 mins late
3) Point out release delays and shift blame on QA /Engineer
4) Any time I’m pointed out (which is going to be often) , I’ll smile, nod and say these things happen, next time bitches
5) my company is entirely remote, so schedule calendar busy and say customer calls
I’m going to make use of the next 3-6 months to study and get a side project up and running.
Also I love the money that comes along every month and.
(Ps: To everyone asking about financial stability, I do have enough runway, but once u quit, I think you limit your options. I want to give the above option a try once)
Very good decision, in every meeting with your manager, reply to his questions with nothing more than "yes" or "no".
If he presses for details, tell him that you don't have the details and that you are just following instructions from your client.
This will frustrate your manager so much that he will ultimately give up on you.
Livelifekingsize
Stealth
a year ago
Bro I am PM myself but believe me there are 1% companies who do actual product management otherwise everywhere it is project management. Product management is stressful because of this situation.
1. Start using JIRA actively it will kind of expose your engineering and QA team
2. Never ever blame anyone just expose them to everyone and they will be blamed by default
3. Start conducting 1:1 with your manager where mention him the process you follow and ask for feedback. He/she will become much more toned down as he/she will know that you will ask for feedback
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Will try all these in my next company. Also please name those <1% companies.
If I’m aiming, might as well aim for the moon!
AliveYouth71
Stealth
a year ago
Yes
itachiuchiha
Stealth
a year ago
If you have the authority, fire someone who underperforms the most and put your foot down. Sometimes it's necessary to show people their place.
If not, track each and every datapoint for a few weeks, record every meeting and send it to the higher management at the appropriate time.
Or you could simaltaneously start looking for other jobs while doing the bare minimum here.
Regarding your manager, I am afraid there is no other way other than confronting him. Be polite but firm. You're senior enough since you are a project manager.
PS: Needless to say, I am assuming you're not the underperformer here. Try to figure that out first honestly and then do the above.
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
Sadly I don’t have the authority to fire someone. I have the responsibility of ‘quality releases’ with an incompetent engg team. I’m going to do the bare minimum and spend my time swimming in the morning, reading books, watching sunset and looking for a new job 😅
Zeus
Stealth
a year ago
Hi @CheckBee, here is how I would approach it personally (have used it in the past)
1) If rage quitting (instant) will cause other concerns, situations that might lead to stress (could be financial for some, anxiety of not having a job temporarily for some) then you might end up worse off than you are currently in terms of peace of mind.
2) Having said that, make a plan, set a deadline to ensure such concerns are manageable/managed and then quit to ensure real peace of mind and not just replacement of your professional worries with something else.
3) Another solution is to look for a job before leaving this one (tougher than 2)
4) If 1) is not a concern, just quit right away : )
MinorCasualty44
Stealth
a year ago
I was in the same position a few months back.
Frustrated to the point of resigning without any backup.
However with time, things swung back to normal (bearable) levels of bs handling.
Unless the situation is messed up beyond a repair (eg verbal abuse) you can hang around till you find another job. Having a 3 - 6 months runway will also help you quit.
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
I agree. Hasn’t come to humiliation levels yet.
Rage quitting is something I an thinking every evening after work. But after a good night sleep, I just prepare for interviews and hope that a good company will select me soon enough… this is a cycle.
GolDRoger
Stealth
a year ago
Do not rage quit
You have two options -
1. Ethical way - Bear with it, maintain processes on your end with full communication history and when you see things failing, point out that it was raised and should have been addressed by someone.
Maintain task tracker of each and every small thing so that you are always defended
2. Unethical way - start slacking. Think of it like taking as much salary as you can. Do bare minimum and just survive day by day. You have given a lot to this company and you deserve to be compensated. Do this for 5-6 months, when it becomes very bad and they address you that your performance is non satisfactory, tell them you are in depression and your psychiatrist has asked you to take rest and resign.
Blue pill or red pill - Choice is yours
Habhaithik
Stealth
a year ago
There are not enough product jobs. Set boundaries, use the money you are getting to get skilled and look for jobs
If they get pissed that you are not working enough they fire you and you get one month extra money
Use the situation don't give up that's a reality of this job
PrizeTheft20
Stealth
a year ago
Quit. There is plenty of fish to catch.
TurningBrain
Stealth
a year ago
A lot of stress for PMs come from having a bad Product head. I have personally suffered from this and can attest a good manager will not only save you from unnecessary attitudes but also will guide you on how to deal with them.
Been in your situation, fellow PM at an early stage company. It's a thoughtful quit, nothing is more important for you than your sanity. Would say quit if you have run way for atleast 2 months.
All the best my man!
IdleUpward90
Stealth
a year ago
Welcome to life of Product Manager. Stop letting it bother you. It's the life of most PMs in India.
Having said that, start protecting you. Do all what's required from you, document everything. In case if argument, just show documentation and keep quiet. Let things unfold.
Don't try to fight it. Just let things unfold.
CheckBee
Stealth
a year ago
There’s a lot of intrinsic politics happening in the company and it’s not a very transparent one in these terms. It’s always going to be my word against his. I don’t want to waste all my time in this!
Day by day my appreciation for software developer is increasing, however low the pay might be, atleast it's the least toxic from all other fields
UniqueBolt
Stealth
a year ago
You’re not alone, mate. There are quite a few bad managers out there, who doesn’t empathise with the fellow product managers. All you just need to believe in yourself and ensure that you don’t let your confidence and morale down. Try for opportunities outside, you’ll shine bright! Best Wishes✨✨
