Turning into a workaholic is ruining my life

u need a girlfriend or a mba

Start smoking up. Weed is the ultimate motivation killer. You will appreciate the life you have.

Start gym and I think it’s in your blood to be problem solver. Rather than running away from something accept it and yeah whenever you get anxious open the laptop and build something

You need more detachment to have any effect. People literally go on retreats or far away from society for too long to really get aligned with themselves. You seem to be at that infliction point.

I had similar issues at a smaller level though, got laid off, got some time to think. After there is sometime till I start at next place but I’m separating my sense of fulfillment from money(have made a good bit) so doing job is not a requirement going forward. In simple terms need a mindset change and not get influenced by peers, friends and family to define your sense of self.

Everything is okay and you are doing right. Just overthinking and panicking because of habit of having hard time (solving puzzles)

Try to build a routine that does NOT involve work. I have recently joined cult fit and try to go there atleast thrice a week. I have found it to be very useful and relaxing. Also, as someone said in the comments, try doing new things. Join a couple's pottery class with your wife, join a weekend painting class, try rock climbing. Additionally, try planning adventurous activities for the future. This will give you something to look forward to. For example, I'm planning to go to one of the highest ski resorts in the world which is located in our very own Kashmir :) the season starts from Dec and ends in March.

Really sorry to say that all that is being shared here are shitty ideas. What you need is new perspectives to look at life. Reading views of others will not help. You need to build your own views. Go to Amazon and buy, "How will you measure your life" book by Clayton Christensen and read it. That will be a good start!

Anxiety is a medical problem, and you should go see a therapist. I am on medicines right now for anxiety, and it has made a huge difference in my daily life

Pick up a hobby like motorcycling. You will meet great new set of people.

I feel you should remain yourself. If coding gives you relief, keep coding. Code for greater purpose. Do a startup. Open source. Teach coding. Help improve other at coding. Pass on this baton. Don't let anyone use you for this.

So much advice is given above but if you want to understand your underlying issue for this issue, you'd have to take the professional route. If you are able to, start by investing your time in a good therapist. It usually takes you some time to find someone who is compatible with you but they will be able to pinpoint the root cause and help you with it so you are able to address it in the long term.

Start a pet project. That is physically tangible and close to your soul. Doesn't have to be marketable / commercial. Let's say something like, - Make some furniture (im starting this one actually) - Make a gokart or a combustion engine (in my todo list) - Gardening - Teaching (anything except Programming) - Drawing - Music - Brain dumping (aka blunt writing) - Nomad Travelling - Social work - Theatre It may sound like I'm projecting my aspirations onto you. And maybe I am because I can relate what you are going through. I've been interested in variety of topics / hobbies and stuff up until I got the job. Since then I'm all about code only. I feel that never ending burning desire of solving things doesn't matter at what scale they are. Though it has helped me tremendously professionally. But it has made me insufferable in conversations and social gatherings. That is why I'm picking up mindful activities to keep me busy and unable to think about computers. Somehow, it is helping and now I'm hating myself a bit less.

Try Yoga , it will help you to attach and detach at will. Sure it will take its own sweet time, but it will be worth it and will stay with you for the rest of your life

u seem to be a problem solver. I'd suggest to find a different problem to solve (away from work). Spend some time on csr / charity kind of things? join clean the locality/beach groups...

When was the last time you did something for the first time ? Go try out new things..

Work is not everything and the good point is that you realise that. Reflect on your background/ancestry/relatives/family support that gave you all that you have now. Be grateful to them and ensure to give it back. Spending time with family would automatically happen. It's ok to slowdown your life. Spend some time with relatives and cousins though it may not be easy due to family politics.

Balance bhai.

Any other hobbies? Might wanna invest in them

You getting motivated to do work 🙄😮‍💨