Strategy & Operations

being funny behind a random username is easy and conformable.

Software Engineer

Are all funny people like this?

Are all funny people like this?- Grapevine

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

Subscribe for more short comedy sketches & films: http://bit.ly/laurisb Buy Expert shirts & hoodies at https://laurisb.myshopify.com/ Funny business meeting ...

The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

Do you have colleagues like this ?

Senior Software Engineer

Hey fellow grapevine friends, let me share a hilarious tale of my recent job interview rollercoaster ride! So, picture this: I chanced upon interviewing for one those new age alternative fintech firms, feeling like a boss, acing every interview level with flying colors. The interviewers were practically showering me with positive vibes about the role and the company. I was on cloud nine!

But hold on to your seats, folks, because things took an unexpected turn. After the initial warm reception, it suddenly went colder than an iceberg. I waited eagerly for responses from the TA team, but all I got was radio silence. Not even a peep. It was like they vanished into thin air!

Now, I wasn't keen on pestering the hiring manager, but desperation got the best of me. I decided to shoot them a message, hoping for some answers. And guess what? They hit me with the most mind-boggling news ever – a hiring freeze! Can you believe it? Talk about bad timing, right? I must have brought some serious jinx along with me.

As if that wasn't enough, I then discovered something straight out of a conspiracy movie. I noticed that the TA team's LinkedIn profiles had that same little green circle, indicating they were open to work.. But wait, there's more! A bunch of ex-employees and other members of the team also had that eerie green circle. What on earth was happening here? Are they secretly communicating in some LinkedIn language that mere mortals like us don't understand?

Oh well, my friends, the job hunt can be a wild and wacky adventure, full of unexpected twists and turns. But fear not, for I am armed with resilience and a great sense of humor! So, with popcorn in one hand and my resume in the other, I shall continue my quest to conquer the job market. While also finding the anomalies of the start up world. Here's to embracing the unpredictability and staying positive on this crazy journey! Cheers to the next chapter of my job hunt! 🍿🚀

From fintech hopes to deep freeze: My epic interview saga

Operations Manager

This is so hilarious 🤣

Software Developer

OMG... I'm not able to stop my laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Human Resources

Welcome to Movies & Music's Private Community

I'll go first - 

Shut laptop, get in comfy clothes and watch Amar Singh Chamkila!
Imtiaz Ali after 4 years!!

What are your Friday plans?

Have to meet some arrange marriage prospects 🤧

Consultant

I might sound biased but hear me out.

Therepists are cheapstake businessmen/businesswomen anyway.

We are always questioned for sharing stuff

They pretend that they are listening to us but all they care about is their fees. They keep looking at the clock as to when the session would get concluded. They secreatly 

"But why would you blame all the therapists just because yours was toxic?". Nice question.

The moment you open up, they start drawing a perception. That point on, they only look down upon you as a person and consider you a massive loser. They might say the opposite but they dont really mean any of that.

My therapist, she went out of the way to convince me that I dont deserve to be loved. She pointed out that just because I feel too many things at once, I might have trouble emotionally satisfying a woman and should be okay with lonliness. She suggested me to play a sport, not because she wanted me to stay fit, but simply because "being sporty might increase my masculanity". I have never been good at sports (never interested me).  I have always been into music and poetry. I have been composing music since I was 16. I have no regrets. Why would you berate me just because my hobbies dont fit into a certain mould. I have heard enough from other people about not being sporty. 

Victim blaming must be stopped in the pretext of "only you can help yourself" or "work on those factors which you control".

Men cant reveal their problems to their friends and family as they would start judging them. They cant even share such concerns with their romantic partners because of the fear of losing them or sounding incompatible. And voila !
Medical therapy also turned out to be a sham for men.

Continued in the comments

Reason why therapy doesnt work on men

Data engineer

Class clown before, funny colleague now

Hilarious!

Men who crack intelligent sarcastic jokes are so hot 🔥

My humour is broken 🤐

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I can’t be be the only one, but I am surrounded by multiple people that just do not believe in async communication. They first send a “hi”, wait for me to acknowledge and then only proceed to tell me what they want. Even if it is something ridiculous like “What is the URL to access this portal?”. 

I generally am very quick with messages and from the last few months, this “hi” business is ticking me off. I decided to do some social experiment and delayed my responses to hi. 

If someone just sends me a “hi”, I schedule a “hi” to 3 hours from then. Result? People would rather sit on blockers than tell me what they want. 

I then tried a decreasing backoff. If you texted me a “hi” once, I’d respond in 3 hours. Repeat it a second time, I’d respond in 4 hours. 5 hours the third time, 6 hours the fourth and so on. 

Results? People would still rather I acknowledge their “hi” than tell me what they want.  

Some anecdotes of how “efficient” communication is:

1. A guy wanted access to a portal that I managed. He pinged me a “hi” every morning for 7 straight days before actually asking me what he wants. 
2. Another person wanted to understand git commands that can be used to solve merge conflicts. But not before pinging “hi” for 4 days, then just pulling me into a call with their manager and their manager pinging me a “hi” when I declined the call. 
3. Another person wanted an update on a ticket I closed 2 years ago. All he wanted was a change request number, which he could find using control + F on the Jira portal. He chose to send “hi”s to multiple team mates of mine when I didn’t respond. 

Ultimately, I started telling people to not just ping and disappear and that they can reach out to me. But I guess old habits die hard and I still receive multiple “hi”s. 

Merko unkin”hi” lag gayi. 

Also, before you scream at me for ranting about such a piddi problem. https://nohello.net/en/ is the thing.

Folks that ping “hi” and disappear

try it, you might find most videos way below average

If you ever want to judge whether a stand up comedy video is actually funny or not, don't watch it, just listen to it.

- Fun at work is necessary.
- We all must laugh, crack all types of jokes, silly ones, nerdy, matured and some good ones too.
- Taking joke on yourself is also a sense of humor.

That said, cracking a silly joke with the intention of showing cool or smart is not funny. Some people are in continuous pursuit of getting browny points and they pretend to be funny & cool. They are under the illusion they are smart.

Do you have anyone like this in your team?

Crack silly joke to act smart at work & gain browny points

Software Architect

Many stereotypes exist about Grapeviners. Such as ‘They’re always complaining about their low 85 LPA CTC’, ‘They all live in HSR layout’, etc etc 

But tbh the thing I love most is how funny y’all are 

Each morning I wake up to too many comments that have me laughing quite hard.

Thanks for being funny

Founder

This is hilarious!

Machine Learning Engineer

The funniest shit happened at the office today. I was at my desk after lunch, vibing to "Like That(Remix)" by Kanye West and writing some test cases for this CI/CD I am setting up for a new feature. 

My friend calls me up and says that there is a BlinkIt parcel that I need to collect from the front desk. I'm like Bro I am busy right now. He says it's an emergency. I am like Okay.

So, I collect it from front desk and now he asks me to bring it to the WC. I am like bro wut?? 
He's like he needs it ASAP. So I oblige lmao.

I come to know that he has ordered Track Pants from BlinkIt because he shit his pants. Apparently, he had some street food yesterday and his stomache got upset. He had an in-person meeting and he wanted to leave for washroom because of his diarrhea. But he couldn't because he was presenting. Unfortunately, by the time that meeting got over he ran towards the WC. Yet, he was too late and ended up ruining his pants. 

This might be the funniest shit I have experienced. My private group on Teams is blowing up lmao.

Someone just 💩 in their pants in the office...

Who are the most funniest/wittiest people here?

Growth Manager

Is your humour as broken as me? Coz why did I laugh on this 🤐

What is it that you like and dislike about them in general?

What are some of your interesting takes on your GenZ co-workers?

They talk about restuarants alot. I think 60% of their conversation is around which restaurant or pub is "cute" or "vibes".  
 But that might be a Bangalore thing. 
 Also they watch alot of Indian OTT and nothing else. 
 Saare chutiya indian shows dekh liye but Oppenheimer nhe dekhi abhi tak, which is shameful.

Are all funny people like this?

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