Dual income expense sharing?

It’s a question that many men want to discuss but can’t in the open. How do the costs of life split between you and your partner? If you’re both making the same money, is it 50-50? Or do you each handle certain categories of expenses without getting into the details?

My fiancé’s pay is 3x mine. And I feel guilty for not being able to scale up to a respectable pay or career advancement. This is my capacity - I am slow paced and a late bloomer in everything in my life. I feel like I don’t deserve a fiancé with 3x pay as mine and could find someone better than me as I was questioned by my fiancé about my career trajectory. I keep wondering in what way I can contribute my share once we settle. How will I do 50/50 because it doesn’t seem possible to do that. I will have to cut back on all my wants before things turn sour between us due to this financial imbalance. I don’t want money to get in the way of our relationship. I don’t know if anyone feels this guilty for not being able to contribute financially towards their married life. Or am I overthinking all this in my mind. It takes a hit at my self esteem when I see my friends/family around being able to achieve this financial equilibrium with their spouses. It makes me feel inadequate and not as empowered.

I grew up with a stay at home mom but I have plenty of friends who grew up with “power couple” parents. If anything, the kids with working moms were better prepared for school and were more... polished? And I know plenty of fuck ups whose retarded moms stayed at home and/or whose parents ended up in nasty ass divorces with their “helpless” moms cleaning out their dads. I don’t think there is anything wrong with nannies and having help. You grow to love them in a different way and they give you another perspective as you grow. It’s not like kids with nannies automatically assume that their parents don’t love them, and it’s rare for both parents to be completely absent all the time unless they never wanted kids in the first place. I feel like the argument against nannies and career women is usually made from bitter people who can’t afford them I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t have a career. Not a job, a career. Maybe she’ll make the decision to stay at home for a few years but I don’t want to bankroll the seamless and reality show watching habits of an intellectually lazy partner for the rest of my life. I’ve seen firsthand the type of woman who doesn’t want to be challenged, what happens to the men who marry them, and how their kids turn out. Fuck that noise. This isn’t the 1980s And if you think you can maintain your lifestyle in Bangalore/Mumbai once you have kids on a single income, think again, especially when your friends have paired off with those dreaded career girls.

Men in tech who are already earning high salaries. Have you married women earning well or housewife or earning very less compared to you(maybe in non-tech). Does you spouse who warns help in your day to day expenses or big expenses(trips,car,gifts,etc) or you take care of most of expenses? And non married men with high salary what you prefer. How is life for men with either of these. P.S - This is just to get an idea how life and money comes into picture for a couple, I respect all categories of men and women.