I am not a parent yet but I am definitely going to treat my kids in a better way , all that unnecessary yelling and silent punishment can be avoided

Everyone thinks like that until they become parents.

Software Engineer

In our parents times, the job used to end at 5pm. Even if a fire were to break out in their office, they would get to know the next morning only. After 5pm they used to do the parental duty. 
  
 Our jobs are more connected. We may work 8 hours a day, but we are 24x7 reading emails (even if we are not responding) or responding to some quick emails etc., even staying up late to solve a production issue. Family time needs to be squeezed in in our calendars based on our availability and the baby's schedule.

Internet has changed our lives for good and bad

Consultant

Assuming middle class parents. 
  
 Parenting has to be done as per today's day and age. Most of our parents where Dad does government job and wife is a homemaker lack serious awareness about today's education and career paths. Parenting is driven around respect and blindly trusting elders. Debate and discussion is not yet a part of parenting. What we have is authoritarian parenting. There is no concept of "personality development" in schools or parents.  
  
 And a lot of young adults who reach their 30s would say they have wasted their 20s. 
  
 And a lot of young adults who don't find govt jobs like their parents are "furkeys" or "velle" or whatever.  
  
 Of course I am speaking from privilege. it could be  worse.

Product Manager

Job is not the goal. Basic needs are met. Unlock fame and recognition by doing great work.  
  
 I am following the Funda of teaching them of: 
 Experiment, Experience, Execute 
  
 For us it was more of follow the herd mentality.

culture of pronouns and futile attempt at defining multiple genders 😶‍🌫️

Infrastructure Engineer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

People with kids: What's different in your parenting than your parents?

People with kids: What's different in your parenting than your parents?- Grapevine

I am one and I have trouble 
always grew up asking parents, permission, rules 

but some decisions need to be taken on own, even smallest 
but the continuous overthinking complicates it further

Shower thoughts: Do eldest kids have trouble decision making?

Parents of GV, what were your thoughts of such innovation after becoming parents

Thoughts after children

Growth Manager

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

DINKs, (dual income no kids) have been gaining traction a lot lately. I want to know from the members of gravevine, what are their views on being a DINK couple or a DINKWAD( double income no kids with a dog). From financial prospects like having a huge disposable income to emotional aspects like not having a legacy or going against custom Indian tradition. Do share your thoughts 🤔💭

What are your thoughts about being DINKS?

We are a DINK couple (live-in, will get married soon) and absolutely no plans to have kids. Maybe be a DINKWAD someday by adopting an indie. Also no plans to buy a home or spend on our marriage. This is not a financial decision (both of us are doing decently well in our careers) but we don't want to have a child knowing how nothing around is improving and we don't want to sacrifice the best years of our lives by doing this. We are building a large corpus to be financially independent and travel without any financial restrictions.

I'll go first.
I became way more patient and empathetic, translating to much improved people skills at work.
Please mention the positive changes only. The small negatives are too minor in the broad scheme of things as parents i believe.

Did becoming a new Parent change you professionally?

Talent Acquisition

Have you come across westerners celebrating parenthood, respecting the fact that kids chose them as parents.
For culture, where sex is comparatively easily accessible - they consider parenting great responsibility 

Whereas in our country, half the country had babies because their families wouldn’t stop pestering 'to settle'
Kids are born with the responsibility of taking 'care'
For a place with not-so-great infrastructure, people should really use protection more.

Parenting

I'm in my early 30s and suddenly my social media is flooded with baby announcements. Meanwhile, I'm here enjoying my DINK (Dual Income No Kids) lifestyle. But lately, I can't shake this nagging feeling that I might be missing out on something important. 

Those who chose to be childfree, do you ever regret it? Parents, is it really as fulfilling as everyone says? How did you know you were ready?

Feels like everyone's having kids but me. Am I missing out?

Everyone knows about the relatively young median age we have India. So consequently, we are going to be having a burst of newly weds and their subsequent kids. This would also be a generation where we see both parents working instead of one parent staying home(rent ain't cheap).

So, few questions to new parents who are both working jobs: 
What were major problems/stressors you faced in early years of parenting ? (Specifically between 0-2 years of age where babies require alot of care) 

What parts of early years of parenting strained your work life the most?

What parts of the early years of parenting gave you guys the most joy?

Would love to know more.

New Indian parents, What are your problems?

Machine Learning Engineer

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

What parenting trends do you think will become common with gen z parents?

Parents of GV, what's the most hypocritical thing you've done in the name of raising your kids? Any "do as I say, not as I do" moments you're not proud of?

The Parenting Paradox:

- Let’s create a safe space
- Mention *minimal* information such as you age, gender, etc to add context about you
- Trolls be empathetic and think before you comment to someone.

What are you innermost thoughts and emotions you don’t share with family and friends as they wouldn’t understand?

Dual Income and No Kids sounds very attractive but advice from people in their late 20s and 30s is probably too biased to be considered sound advice.

Wanted to understand how couples who took that decision in their 30s feel today.

Do you regret it?
Do you feel purposeless?
Do you feel lonely?
Do you feel the FOMO?

And so on.

Any DINK couples in their 40s? How do you really feel?

I am a 37 year old female and my husband is 40. We were unable to have kids through normal ways and chose to not go for continued IVf after the first one didn’t work. We found IVF to be too draining emotionally, physically and also financially to a certain extent (although that was not a major extent) . We were also ready to take that decision to be a DINK because we felt that we loved each other and found our life fulfilling with each other, family and work. Having a child would have been great but I personally agonised over this decision for many years in my early 30s because we have been told that if you don’t have kids ‘you will regret it later when it’s too late 😅😅’ happy to report years later that we don’t regret not having kids at all - and we don’t think we will feel differently many years later too.

Program Manager

Senior Product Manager

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Senior Designer

As a kid, who wasn't extreme ill-mannered, have had my share of beatings 
I think it is ego satisfaction or let out of anger on something you have produced and feel entitled to use as punching bag

But ones who haven't been subjected to those are in a high of their own.
Feels like they were God sent for leveling up Earth

Hence, extremes.
What’s your opinion?

Thoughts on Gentle Parenting?

Help your brothers

I'm in late 20's now. 
  
 To my bro's in their early 20's: 
  
 "Please priorities your fitness. Aim to establish a routine and get into a shape you yourself are comfortable with and proud of."

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