No, you're wrong. You can't generalize like this about the whole software engineering industry. I have worked for a number of companies in my career, and every company's culture is different.  Many companies have terrible work culture, and many are better. 
  
 Sounds like you're stuck in some really toxic workplace. Start interviewing and move out ASAP to a company with better culture & WLB, in order to preserve your mental health, and to prevent burnout. Good luck! 👍

Have my first interview next week. Got any tips?

Software Developer

Staff Engineer

I'll tell you one thing from my experience DO NOT TOLERATE BULLYING. Give it back to the bullies, do give it back.

How do I give it back ? I’m not mean by nature

Consultant

Software engineering is a super competitive environment. People gaslight you every now and then. Every second person would be jealous of your growth. I’m having a hard time keeping myself calm beca...

Software engineering is a super competitive environment. People gaslight you every now and then. Every second person would be jealous of your growth. I’m having a hard time keeping myself calm because of all the subtle workplace bullying. 

What do I do to preserve my mental health?

Socialising at job as an adult

Socialising at job as an adult- Grapevine

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

I earn a decent living ~32LPA as a Software Engineer. I really enjoy my work and it is always a joy working with smart people around you. 

I sometimes wonder if I didn't exist would it matter in the world. At work, I come up with great ideas and insights which my peers appreciate and support, but there hasn't been one thing that they took seriously and moved ahead with. 

My peers around me constantly belittle me, some unprofessional jokes about my competence and intellect, even though I am actually good at what I do and more. 

The backhanded compliments and sarcastic replies in front of other people in my company makes me sad beyond belief. It is almost like I give so much of time to this company and although everyone cares about the work I do but no one cares about me. 

My colleagues constantly try to one-up themselves by bullying juniors and laughing in their glass-walled conference walls. 

Incidents like these make me want to give up on work. I think the mix of giving all of myself at work(intensity and long hours), constant berating on my competence and the time I spend away from my family and "real" friends(not these fake work colleagues) makes me depressed as fuck. 

I am now understanding that you can never be happy in life because you can never have all that you want. You will give up something for the other. You think making more money will make you happier but you will just end up losing your sanity.

You can never be happy

Hang in there, friend. I can assure you that you can find happiness in the workplace. What you're experiencing is common but definitely not the norm. There are many places out there where people are decent and you wouldn't be treated so pathetically. I hope you find the opportunity to move out and cut yourself off from the vile people at your present employer.

Data Scientist

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

Lately it's been really hard trying to cope up with derogatory comments and people trying to pull you down.

I build/refactored some of our codebase and things go south in terms of performance at few places. 
I realised the mistake and fixed the performance bottlenecks that happened because of me in least time possible. 

But people still look down on me on and manager keeps passing hurtful comments about the incident every now and then.

Moreover there's worse happening fellow people start blaming you for the performance of code you haven't even touched. You are just utilizing some function in your codebase written by some other person.

I don't know how to handle all this and what should I do to avoid this? 
Mistakes happen, bugs go on prod, things can break but as far as once everything stabilise, we should move on.

How do you guys deal with Office politics.

Software Engineer

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

I have become bitter about this corporate work culture.
Had some terrible work culture in my last 2 jobs
This has affected me a lot.

Joined a new one, though it's good in terms of culture to an extent.
I have gotten into the phase of not taking phony talks or fake conversations .

It's getting hard to socialize, all I see is power play, insecurity and selfish motives.

I can't talk to everyone and mostly can't take the fake things.
This has increased more as I changed jobs and got older

All they say is communicate more , increase visibility.

Not sure how I will get used to things.
It's getting very tough as I gain experience.

I somehow feel this is affecting my growth.

Any suggestions to overcome this

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I currently work in a project that is driven by CEO and he is very intimidating. I work my ass off to make sure he gets what expects but today he was especially aggressive during the call. After the call I asked him to wait up for two mins and started telling him that I am getting intimidated by him. Although he was nice to me when I confronted him, now I am feeling embarrassed because I broke down a little when I spoke. Tears started flowing and I am feeling like a weak person. Just fyi I am an adult male.

I ended up breaking down in front of my CEO

It's ok to express your emotions.  Especially in times of stress / duress.  
  
 You'll be fine.  
  
 It's also important to sometimes define boundaries - if that was the intent of your talk with him today.  It's feedback and if he is an understanding leader, he'll give you your space and time.

Sales Manager

Product Marketing Manager

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I am working as a senior product manager in a fintech startup. I am under a lot of stress due to work pressure, continuous badgering from business and tech stakeholders and loneliness. I always think of going home but staying in stressful job mainly because I don't want to be jobless. I can only post my views here anonymously because I don't want to be seen as loser. Request members if they can provide their suggestions.

PS : As far as my profile is concerned it's B tech + MBA from tier 1 college and 3 years of tech experience followed by 7 yrs into Product Management and living alone in Bangalore.

Deteriorating mental health

Product Manager

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Hi everyone,

I am an employee at a Big Tech Firm, and doing quite well at my job. I have few friends of mine, who are active on LinkedIn and Twitter, and use the company's name extensively and make posts and gain followers. I sometimes feel jealous of these colleagues and feel worthless due to them. Even though I am doing well than them in the job, sometimes I just can't stop feeling jealous. Any suggestions on what I can do?

Feeling worthless

Hi all,
I am currently interning at a US medical device healthcare giant.
Its been close to 5 months I'm here. Till now I haven't been assigned any implementation tasks
All I get to do is dry runs, debugging and documentation

PPO is also not guaranteed. It's based on performance.
I feel very scared what would happen if I don't get the PPO. Apart from that, I feel shy asking help from seniors because
a) They are super busy. Always on meetings
b) I feel they would think I'm stupid for asking silly doubts

Even no proper KTs have been given. It's like F around and figure out.

Please advice me how to actually come out of this situation. This is my first corporate experience and I feel worried and scared each day

Need some genuine advice

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I'm working at a decently large firm here in Bangalore, leading a cool project that involves stuff I really like, like modeling and data engineering. Plus, I'm helping leadership team with some cool projects which is giving me a lot of visibility in the org. Lately I'm finding it hard to stay motivated.

I'm on medication and seeing a therapist for depression, and I’ve been feeling a lot better overall. It's just that with all these responsibilities I'm not feeling happy. I sometimes vent out on juniors or colleagues (erratic behaviour).  

Has anyone else gone through something like this? What helped you get past this kind of mental block? Any tips or advice would be really helpful.

Mental Health Challenge @work

Recently i had changed my job, previously WFH now new job WFO. I constantly feel that i may loose my job and i had to take some medicine for this as well. Doctor told me i was having pessimistic thinking and was depressed. I am the sole earning memeber of my home, 23 father dead, mother remains ill. Sister small in college.

I am in constant fear and this thing is eating me alive.

I am in constant fear.

I work in a startup and one of my senior engineer always mocks me for not being efficient at work. He just has his own presumptions about me and because I made some silly mistakes at the start of my journey in this company, he always taunts me for that. Now he has started doing that in front of other people as well to look cool. Initially it did not affect me as whenever I would point that out he would say that you genz guys can’t even take this much, we used to rag your senior even more than this. But now this thing has started affecting me because everyone else also thinks the same way now. Also a lot of times I snap at him for being this disrespectful, but I feel very bad after that. Also it gives an impression of me being very rude to other people in the office because in other teams no senior talks to their junior this way. Every time I try my level best to make my PR’s the best so I could at least not end up being targeted by him again, but he still manages to find some fault with it. I don’t understand what to do. My manager is always on his side, I’ve tried talking to him also but that’s of no use. Please suggest me some ways so I can get out of this😞😞
This has greatly affected my confidence and now I don’t even find the will to work hard anymore because whatever I do, I’ll face the same thing. I feel like this has also hampered my growth a lot.

Disrespectful Lead

With appraisal conversations round the corner, wanted to know the most absurb feedback you’ve received from your manager?

Appraisal/feedback nonsense

Head Of Marketing

Hello, I have around 1.2 YOE in software engineering. I have been working on the biggest project in my org, and to deliver MVP, we are giving everything, and sometimes I feel too much pressure and get overwhelmed and wish I should never be a part of this. Sometimes, i can not even sleep and think only about work and project in the sleep. Is it normal? Seniors around me are very chill and handle every situation very calmly. I don't know if I would ever be so chill and calm or if it would be fine time by time while getting more experience in this field. If you ever feel this is relatable, how do you handle this kind of situation?

How do you handle pressure in the project?

Seeing colleagues getting promoted while your contribution goes unnoticed. Working on projects that none of your peers care about. Figuring out the balance between work and personal life. Regret of ignoring physical health due to work.

There are endless reasons that can trigger the imposter syndrome. How are you guys coping up with this?

How do you guys cope up with the imposter syndrome

I started a side business. These fuckers can have their promotions. I work for the salary now. I don't contribute beyond the basic limit.  It's liberating. I don't even laugh at the stupid jokes at meeting.

Welcome to Mental Well-being's Private Community

Hi all ,

I feel zoned out during office hours.Then I have to sacrifice my weekend to complete the remaining work as there will be status meeting in the next week.Im completely lost since last one month. Currently I'm working in autosar(application layer), but I feel like switching my career into full stack development.I find no balance in work neither in learning.My social circle is messed up , I hardly interact with people around me.

Mental instability at work

Hey, it's been almost 2 months in my new job being a 2024 graduate, I was very excited to be joining corporate and being able to work on projects that will solve real world problems but all that glamour has since faded away, the learning curve has been pretty steep which is not a problem but people around me are quite toxic af like saying things in a sarcastic way for not knowing stuff, micro managing things and expecting me to deliver high quality results without even proper training. I now understand why people value work life balance so much, for I have been putting long long hours just to get the work done I'm talking like till 2-3 in the morning, now part of it is also me not fully knowing the work but then again my seniors aren't supportive at all, when I have a question their reaction is mostly like "yrr you can't even do this". I have been doubting myself so much since then and my abilities, feeling really depressed about work and life and don't know if it will get better. I have come to the point where I am even thinking of resigning because of lack of support structure, my parents and relatives are all trying to console me and honestly it feels good to have them around me but then again it's getting too much for me and if things do keep like this I would have to prioritise my health and mental health and quit from here. I never thought that the threshold will come so early but it has, maybe I only have few weeks worth of patience left in me. 

Really need to turn my life around, I will start applying for jobs on the side to see if something better comes up, preferably with atleast a decent work life balance. I know it might sound like a rant but I'm feeling exhausted and it's not even been 2 months properly in my joining. How do I navigate this?

How do you navigate toxic peers and environment?

I'm working at toxic environment. Since I don't have any responsibility and can take care of myself until I find next job I was planning to quit my job without another job at hand. My family doesn't have an issue. But I'm scared if it will be a problem to find another good job as I'll be jobless? I have 6 months gap before joining here for education. I have completed 6 months here and I'm planning to leave. Please advise.

Quitting job without another offer?

UX/UI Designer

Want to get some perspective here because I think it’d be valuable to hear about other people’s experiences.
This job at Google has completely destroyed my confidence and I feel so paranoid about shipping anything now.
I have made some mistakes but I have always caught them in staging or working drafts.

Here is what my manager has said to me:
- I lack attention to detail.
- I do not have drive.
- I do not have any ambition.

And the reason I have been told this is because:
I messed up a flow that the Lead PM had come up with in the first place. Then the Lead PM flips back on me and says that it would be "an embarrassment" to ship this.

I find myself immersed in a constant cycle of spending hours each day reviewing work, gripped by the fear of facing criticism or even the prospect of being fired. Despite investing significant time and effort, it seems that the only feedback I receive is overwhelmingly negative. It has reached a point where I question myself and wonder if I should have not been here at all. This toxic work environment is undeniably draining, and I'm left grappling with insane anxiety. Has anyone else faced this?

Socialising at job as an adult

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