When you stop minding what others says about you.

Strategy & Operations

Product Manager

What is society ? A name of a tea brand that’s it. Don’t bother about society they ain’t going to pay your bills. Just for some random hi bye you don’t have to spoil your life and get married.

First we have to get rid of dowry, isn't it?

SAP Consultant

Software Engineer

Very soon the days are going to come where the concept of marriage only will get disappeared and live-in relationships are in full swing and legal.. from now only the insurance coverage has become legal for live-in partner

Human Resources

What society? I'm single in my 40s, and nobody bothers me and I live alone happily. Other people are busy with their own lives and nobody has time to think about you.  
  
 Occasionally, people might ask you when they see you for making casual conversation, and you make a joke about your single life, and that's it. They forget about you the next moment and get busy with their own lives. 
  
 It's all your own imagination in your head that "society" is not okay with you being single. Nobody cares. You also stop caring about what other people might think, and just live your life however you want it. The world will adjust accordingly.

Staff Engineer

When they start seeing it as responsibility and not as a checklist in life

Consultant

What do u think when our Indian society will think that the being the single can be a okay . Marriage is not compulsory. Leave your thoughts ..

What do u think when our Indian society will think that the being the single can be a okay . Marriage is not compulsory.
Leave your thoughts ..

Society Acceptance

Society Acceptance- Grapevine

The post seems to be from a Doctor and the first half sounds more like you're wasting your life if you're not having sex or kids. Like there's no purpose in life if you aren't getting this.

(And that's how India made 130+ crore earthlings!)

33M here and these points sounded fascinating when I was 25-26, but not anymore. Except for the EMI part everything else looks like a blessing instead of being in a bad marriage. If you're in your late 30s and unmarried, how has it been for you?

What does future and "purpose" mean to you at this point of life?

Any 35+ M here and who is going through this?

Program Manager

Help your brothers

I'm in late 20's now. 
  
 To my bro's in their early 20's: 
  
 "Please priorities your fitness. Aim to establish a routine and get into a shape you yourself are comfortable with and proud of."

Growth And Strategy

Security Analyst

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Senior Designer

Anybody here who's in their late 20's and family is pressuring them to get married but you're not mentally ready for the responsibility because maybe first you want to achieve something or be in a better place mentally or financially.

For Indian families marriage is just a checkpoint on their long list of responsibilities like science in school, btech in college, gov vs pvt job and stuff. 

I guess marriage is much more than just a wedding. If you're not mentally ready to have a partner reasons could be multiple like maybe you want to achieve something before tying knot or maybe you want to be at a better place mentally or monetary.

Honestly i dont know how to frame this question 
I just need to know the perspectives of married as well unmarried people or maybe any advice. 

I'm 27 btw 🫂

Thoughts on marriage

I'm seeking advice on how to handle a sensitive situation that's been affecting my well-being. As a young woman in my 30s, I'm still unmarried and  my younger cousins or relatives have all gotten married. While I'm genuinely happy for them, I sometimes feel pressure and low self-esteem when people ask me when I'll be getting married or imply that something is wrong with me for not being married yet. It's not like i don't want to however in a vunurable situation when it comes to emotional connection stuff.I am a bigtime dog lover and I am happy being with my dog and parents too.

As someone who values my family's opinions and approval, it's hard for me to ignore these comments and not take them personally. How can I deal with these kinds of situations in a healthy way and maintain my self-confidence despite societal expectations?"

Let's see if sharing can help 😇😊

I'm fairly new to this platform, but in last week I have seen posts appreciating men and celebrating women

The posts have comments from men demeaning their own.
I don't understand why. Who taught us to be like that?

I am a man, I have vulnerable self doubt thoughts, but I would never put down another human (any gender)

Is it something common on this platform?

[Controversial] Why are men getting hurt by men and women alike?

A couple of other posts are on what unmarried men / women look for in their potential spouses. 

Married folks, based on your experience, what advice would you give people as they are going through the journey of figuring out the right partner.

Married men / women, what’s your advice on this - what factors should one consider while evaluting a to-be spouse?

Growth Manager

Am in my mid 30s from south working in Mumbai for a PSU. I’ve been declined in matrimony websites owing to location and perception of PSU. Is this the new normal?

Difficulty in finding matches for marriage in Mumbai

To all those guys who have decided to stay unmarried for their  whole life.... What's the reason ?????

Men only........

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Will this happen in India too? Are you folks still planning to have kids?

This is a very interesting topic. I wonder what the impact will be on so many things. 
- People get married later, have kids much much later 
- Effectively you're getting fewer of your "fitter" years with your kid (although lifetime is elongated too) 
- We've added at least 5 years of working as a single guy/gal to our lifetimes. 

Question to the broader community: I don't see most people between 25 to 30 being super happy. Most people actually seem misguided (me/my friends - in some ways). Is this pattern actually harmful for us?

Analyst

Is it difficult to live without a partner or find the right one, especially when you are introverted, at the age of 29?

Singelhood

Stay single till you find a right match, not having a partner may make you feel lonely sometimes but having a bad one will become nightmare.

Technical Specialist

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Is it just me or is even a job at the best Tech companies just don’t make any sense for women? 

There are always women who have great family support or husbands that are understanding and encouraging. But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late? 

Interested for thoughts from both men and women.

27F Engineer: Software Engineering Not Worth It For Women?

Hmm, someone I know has more than 10+ patents(ex-broadcom), is a tech evangelist and an implementation advisor for a cloud tech, have 3 kids with fourth on the way. Sometimes you just need a supportive environment.

Men on GV: Ask questions on love, relationships and marriage!

Women on GV: Answer these questions genuinely and bluntly!

I'll go first: 
Heard about a married couple (married <1 year) and already separated (to be divorced). The wife hid her past and relationship from her family and in-laws. Husband asked about her relationships and she said she isn't in one. No pressure from the guy's family about marriage. Girl said yes and for months pretended to be excited about marriage. Post marriage, husband realised that she's cheating, excessive partying drinking, and smoking. Husband is in a disarray and suicidal.

Now I know there are both men and women like her (not making it a gender thing). But as a man looking for a partner/relationship/girlfriend, how do we be careful and what red and green flags should we look for, in a woman, while looking for a genuine relationship?

Love and Marriage

Generalist

The vision of working from scratch to build wealth has made so many families be in middle class
Dowry also pushed families from wealthy to working class
Raising kids as frustrated, tired individuals - Such a shitty arrangement imo

[Controversial] Parents' gen arrange marriages - Mom's father had money, our father had degrees

I have been online on a lot of sites (shaadi.com, Bharatmatrimony etc) for 2 years now but it’s been really hard to get a guy.

There have not been many expectations, just a decently well educated guy who can talk with respect to ladies (I find it really hard to get guys of the latter, on these sites)

Those who were successful in arranged marriage, how did you do it? Any tips please. Should I pay some matchmakers? Suggestions are welcome.

How to find a hubby?

I doubt your expectation is just a well educated guy. There are hidden parameters u arent sharing. Or when the guy presents itself you are making some reason to not proceed

Engineering Manager

I know I'm not the only one having to go through this. Let's speak our heart out.

[Rant] Arranged marriage process

I really don’t know why Indian society irrespective of state or religion, can’t grow up or become a little mature. 

If a guy smokes on the road, that’s fine. But if a girl does, immediately they will blame what has happened to this generation ( just to make it clear, I don’t support smoking but just expecting everyone has a choice to smoke or not) 

If a guy wears shorts or night clothes, and walks on the road, then that’s fine. But a woman wears shorts and goes outside, then people start staring as if she is not wearing anything. Even in this bad summer, they are expecting them to wear full pants!!

I know this sounds cliched, but just wondering when will our society really accept. I know we are capable to accept a lot of modern things which were not acceptable in the past. Women can study and work now which was not a possible before. But still from western standards, women in India are yet to get the freedom to wear what they want, have habits like smoking or drinking ( their choice), date whom they like, decide when they want to have kids and a lot of other important things. 

Indian society will take a long time I guess. Any thoughts?

Society Acceptance

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