Yes I live in Bangalore but my parents live in Bengal. Whenever they come for 10-15 days fight happens. Makes me think sometimes my appetite is less for suffering.

Software Engineer

Software Developer

Lock them up in a room. Put a camera. Live stream. Monetise it. Bravo, now you’re a millionaire with a therapist.

Marketing Creative

You proactively go and visit your mom. Tell them not needed to come. These things happen.. have to find a common interest.

Program Manager

Product Manager

Who chose your wife... You or your mummy???

Jokes apart, mentally check out bruv. Put your foot down, let them know how you feel about it and stay away from this. It’s the most mature thing to do.

There is constant drama in home. My wife and mother has not spoken properly for past 3 years now. Daily I struggle to maintain balance between two and get sandwiched. More I try to maintain harmony...

Welcome to Mental Well-being's Private Community

There is constant drama in home. My wife and mother has not spoken properly for past 3 years now. Daily I struggle to maintain balance between two and get sandwiched. More I try to maintain harmony more fight happens. They both are educated and well learned but they just don't like each other. It has taken a toll on my mental health and my work productivity is also suffering. I am getting fat (stress eating) and random health issues are coming. Please suggest how to deal with this? 🙏

Tired in fight between wife and mother

Tired in fight between wife and mother- Grapevine

I am a 30 M , got married in 2020 and clearly the marriage was not working out. My wife and her mother was always finding ways to control me from the beginning with all the little things and my wife started this drama like with every fight she used to leave the house and stay at her mother’s and not comeback until all the parents gets involved and me asking sorry, one time she left the house because I cooked the curry and had asked her to do roti this turned into a fight and just for that she left the house. And her mother threatened me that she won’t send her daughter back until I ask sorry. There were LOT of these instances and at one point I really got fed up and started standing up for myself, in the last fight she said she won’t come back again and I said please don’t I am also tired of this. After a month she started reaching out to me asking sorry and apologies and all but I had lost all trust in the relationship and I wanted sometime. Even if I let her in her mother would have ruined the relationship again , so I asked her since I have no trust you have to agree on that in future if we get divorced if we have kids the kids stay with me and I won’t pay any alimony. Following this discussion she lodged a fake domestic violence and dowry case against me and my family. And I filed for divorce after I seeing police station and all. I have all the evidence to prove that I am innocent but the court is taking very very long time and now she is asking for for a huge amount only the she will agree for divorce 😣

Worst times for men! Better to be a monster than a hero

This has been dragging from past two years and am done with my life, I can’t date anyone even though am 30 I have maintained myself in a healthy way so that I look a bit younger but because of the case is still going on… I don’t know what to do

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

Is there a chance to change behaviour of  abusive spouse? Pls share anything that helped

Project Manager

I am 33M, started working at 20. Earned 87LPA when I was dropped off in June 23. I am a very responsible person who had taken care of everything in the family for quite some time. My parents and relatives and everyone else who know me well, know this and kost have appreciated this at some point.
My sister separated from her husband 6 months after my marriage and had been living with me and my wife since then till COVID hit.
My mother has anger issues and my father is very obedient to her. I love my parents and they loved me I think.
Post COVID I moved to my hometown (because family) and things started going downhill. My mother will almost entire day find every faults in my wife and share it with everyone with an angry tone. I just listened to her initially for 2 years but at times I told her that it's enough.
Now she has started fighting me. After the fight I would go and apologize to her knowing that it's not my fault just to make things right.
This time when my mother fought with me she taunted me that you will come back and apologize. This hurted me even more than the fight.
Now I am not going back to apologize and she's escalating it every day. Convinced my father and my eldest sister(happily married) that I am a bad son. Shares messages like "maa bap ko pareshan krne vale bachho ko kya fal milta hai" in WhatsApp groups.
She has even asked me to vacate home. I am unemployed at the moment and I told her I will when I have a job.
I don't know how to deal with it. I can't convince people in the family that she has anger issues.

My parents hate me

How do you manage to resolve conflicts between your mother and your wife?

Question for married men👇

Software Test - QA

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Heya... 
New to this app... 
Experiencing a hard life like others (in this era mostly are struggling) been in a serious relationship it's been 5 years all things are going good but family is not convinced for marriage my side family is good with it but other end family is problematic it's like if this marriage happens they all will die n blah blah this is basically drowning me mentally apart from this complicated job not have good terms with my manager somehow he is trying me leave this job by myself..... So my question after stucking in so much things how to live life

Stuck in relationship and job issues

Finance Operations

Nowadays people are facing lot and lot of mental health issue and this generation is facing more beacuse of social media and other factors.
I have my family where everyone is very tough and have their own ego and anger issues. Its like if we meet there is 110% chance that we will end up with argument or fights (verbally). This had made everyone alone in life and far from each other. Evn between siblings we have such bad relationships due to our ego. what's ideal case and what is not i m not able to differentiate since I have not seen such family with 0 faults but mine is extreme I think. Whatever I try my best but our trip or any meet up will end up with fight and thn we don't talk for days and months . This is affecting me mentally and I couldn't do anything about it. Are any one of u facing such family problems.

Dysfunctional Family.

Data Analyst

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

I know it's not a good platform to share a personal story but wanted to express myself. I am a software engineer with decent earnings working in Accenture and going to join Deloitte! My family environment is getting worse because of my father's drinking habit. We are not able have a normal topic with happy moment. Every-time I tried to have a discussion it gets into bad fight. I already had a pretty hard heart break and only option I have is family where I am not able to make things right. I am feeling as a failed as a child and not having any expectations from future. I am tired of toxic environment not sure till when I can handle this. I don't want to have any partner in my life as they will face things which I am facing. I suppose leaving life alone is good for me. Alone and happy.

I know sharing this will not change anything. Just wanted to tell everyone keep your family first priority. Without family high paying job will also not give any satisfaction.🙂

Don’t feel to get a married life, feeling like got stuck in life.

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

Me and my wife are 30 years old software engineer with no kids. Draw 7 lac a month please some yearly bonus. We invest 2 lac a month combined into equity market through mutual funds. 

Expenses: 1.5 lac a month including everything, lives in Bangalore in good society, owns a car, don't thing much before spending. 

Still after everything left with 3 lakhs every month in bank account. Not sure how to use that. We both don't have any fancy "shauk" where we can spend and hence don't have an urge to earn more. 

Any suggestions???

Post tax 7 lac a month. Double income no kids, but not sure what do with all the money.

Hey - we are also similar to you. Would strongly suggest finding something you’re passionate about. 
  
 For us (primarily me) - got a dog, took a 6 month sabbatical, travelled to 30+ countries in this time, left job to pursue startup idea, spend time with parents, learn language, improve fitness, learnt some coding, etc 
  
 It’s a pretty good position to be in - just explore I’d say

Strategy & Operations

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

I’m a working mother. Also a nursing mom living without husband. My stress level has reached new heights due to work and client pressure.

For the last 2 months I have been trying to go to the gym and take care of my health but every week something or the other comes up and I'm working more than 14+ hrs sometimes. 12 hrs is average.


Every time something is going on in my mind around my work or performance or layoffs and a lot of things.  

I'm frustrated. Can somebody tell me what should be the best way to handle this?

Because of this I have high anxiety and also not getting proper time for personal life. 

I also feel a lot demotivated sometimes , thinking that why I'm working till 2am and for what?

Frustrated and Stressed: Mind Fog

Data engineer

In relationship with her for almost 4 years. Although relationship is kind of toxic but there're lot of emotional memories. She's bit of abusive when in anger and on the other hand I also made lot of mistake by giving hope & all. It becomes kind of hard for me to handle her anger. Now I trying to fix things up for our future. I tried connecting with lot of my friends & psychologist, but didn't get balanced solution. By balanced solution, I mean both of us should not suffer unfairly and live life peacefully. Both of us come from lower middle class family and both approaching 30. she's not working.

1. I have few responsibility for my family as well. So, one of my friend suggested "to do breakup and not continue because of these family responsibility. If I go with her, then in the end I have to sacrifice one thing in my life (sacrifice means not good future), either my family, her or my career. and not being true to my family responsibilities in future will give me more guilt than breaking up with her. and they told It'll become hard for me with family guilt. In chess, sometime you have to sacrifice queen to win. Also, they asked me to read geeta that duty comes first than anything else. and family didn't make any wrong and deserve the best in future."

2. My judgement around this is kind of messedup right now. Although i understand the logic part of it and completely agree with this. but Emotional part of this is kind of making me feel guilt. that i did very wrong to someone. and Even i understand that it'll be hard/impossible for me carry all these burden in future, still I think lets go with her just that I dont want her to suffer things.

3. Above 2 solution feels very biased to me. In both solution, one of us have to suffer badly. Posting here to get your solution. I know both type of people exist here. Someone will feel more for her and other will prefer family.  

for more context - https://grapevine.in/post/98de98e6-d9fb-48ea-90ce-b05c82214362

Suggestion needed about future

My mother has mobility issues and suffers frequent falls am due to slipping down and this is the 4th fracture in last 5 years. These fractures require long healing period and requires surgery mostly. I am living in a tier 2 city with my wife and son due to this reason. But she suffered a fall and fracture recently and I am kind of fed up. Not living in a tier 1 city makes me odd one out. No chance of networking and I want growth in my career and want to lead a team etc. but guess this  choice of staying with parents makes me feel lost from the crowd can’t connect with my peers. I have an MBA from reputed insti but not able to meet my classmates also. Don’t know how else to vent out my frustration so just pouring out here

Kind of frustrated with life and confused on what to do

Data Scientist

Lately i have been struggling to cope up with my work and family . It’s been very difficult at my work lately. Also my personal life is a roller coaster mentally! I feel difficult to cope up. People at my work are sarcastic about my performance even though i am fulfilling all my basic tasks. I sleep very late thinking about all these things especially my personal struggles! How are you guys coping up?

How you guys are taking care of your Mental Health?

Desires and expectations hata do life se… 
 It takes very less to be happy…. 
 Itna kamao ki apni jaruratein puri ho jaye bas….aur job ko bhi utna hi time do bas 
  
 Rest time should go in pursuing hobbies and friends/family time…. 
  
 Paisa jitna bhi kama lo, hamesha kam hi lagega… 
 Isliye time nikalo apni hobbies/friends and family ke liye

Hi guys
I am facing some issues with my family members, they are constantly trying to convince me to get married with someone, although my mom is supportive but my dad is not, I am fighting with them almost everyday, i somehow left my job life been on bench since long periods, not able to Focus properly on my health, not able to sleep properly at night time, got infections in my body, I am feeling shattered don't know what should I do

I'm 26F working in an IT service based company, I need your suggestions guys

Thank you

Tired in fight between wife and mother

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