Notion is anyway tiring, let's not bring it to relationships

Consultant

I came to comments looking for Lord's 🤮 
  
 Disappointed to not find it

Application Engineer

Intimacy ka koun log rakhta bc, iss week kam intimacy thi so weekend ko cover karenge or iss week ka quota ek din mai khatam ho gya so gaand maraye tumhara pyaar

Software Engineer

Software Developer

It made me feel like romantic partnership is now a job

Would you maintain this blog as a couple?

Product Marketing Manager

Would you maintain this blog as a couple?- Grapevine

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

M30

Found true love at the age 18, got married at 25. Explored open relationship at the age of 22. My wife had great physical experiences between 22 to 27. I have barely had one or two encounters. We are emotionally connected with each other. We are at that point where we want to have a kid. But I am have this extreme feeling of unsatisfaction as I have not had many physical encounters neither with my wife nor with others. My wife isn’t that excited in having sex with me. When she was physically active we would make out once in 3 months. She would have similar frequency with others. But now she is not interested in physical encounters with anyone. Even with me the frequency has reduced to twice a year. We want to have a baby soon as she has crossed 30. But I feel that I have a lot of pent up feelings of romance that I want want to experience before having a kid with my wife. I have the permission from my wife to experience that with anyone but I am just not able to. Since two years I have been going to clubs every weekend but I just can’t approach any girl. I have this fear of rejection and I expect the girls to approach me which has happened just twice but things worked out only once. So off late, I have given up hopes of experiencing romance. Any suggestions?

Feeling Unsatisfied - Open Relationship

Growth Manager

Welcome to Personal Finance's Private Community

My fiancé’s pay is 3x mine. And I feel guilty for not being able to scale up to a respectable pay or career advancement. This is my capacity - I am slow paced and a late bloomer in everything in my life. I feel like I don’t deserve a fiancé with 3x pay as mine and could find someone better than me as I was questioned by my fiancé about my career trajectory. I keep wondering in what way I can contribute my share once we settle. How will I do 50/50 because it doesn’t seem possible to do that. I will have to cut back on all my wants before things turn sour between us due to this financial imbalance. I don’t want money to get in the way of our relationship. I don’t know if anyone feels this guilty for not being able to contribute financially towards their married life. Or am I overthinking all this in my mind. It takes a hit at my self esteem when I see my friends/family around being able to achieve this financial equilibrium with their spouses. It makes me feel inadequate and not as empowered.

I feel guilty as my fiancé’s pay is 3x mine

When I got married, my partner’s pay was 2X mine. Cut to 8 years later, my pay is now 2.5X more than my partner. I am lucky to have a partner who never questioned me while my pay was lower than hers. So our relationship has been the same then and now.  
 Your pay cannot be the basis on which you decide if you have to be partners or not. If that is causing a rift between the both of you, you should perhaps have a honest conversation with your partner.

Founder’s Office

Analyst

Just want to understand if it’s manageable when both are working. Like given the current cost of things in tier 2+ cities and uncertain employment scenes… I can’t imagine a household going well enough without both earning. If you’re such a couple, can you share some thought? I would also imagine at some point ur job companies may be in different cities ?

How is married life for folks where both work?

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I am an experienced PM in a product based company. Off late I am not very motivated on the area /procrastinating /slacking /lazy. I am looking for an accountability partner - say book common meeting invite and work for 3 hours/day on weekends to prepare for interviews or deep work. Would anyone be interested. If there are more we can create a whatsapp group.

Seeking Accountability partner

Product Manager

Welcome to News Discussion's Private Community

Marriage and divorce are equally difficult to maintain and break

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

Are married females incompetent as managers?
I'm contemplating a move to Google. Recently received an offer from them. Got to know about my future manager through team matching phase. Read a review about her on teammatemeter.com . She looks like a serious red flag.
The recruiter also sounds very desperate for me to join this particular team only when I asked for another team in team matching phase. What to do? Join or not? The manager and colleagues matter more than the money on the table! But money is also important.

Are married female managers incompetent?

So one manager is rated poorly and you extrapolated that to all married female managers being incompetent? 
  
 If you say a bald manager being poorly rated, would you have stretched the insight to all bald manager? 🤔

Corporate Strategist

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior.

Where, 
- I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role.  This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none...
- I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself 
- I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos!
- I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser

I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections!
This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth.  I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. 

If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up

This resulted in I procrastinating in things. 
Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it...
I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything!

After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! 
It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... 

TLDR -
Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want!
Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead!
It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

[Controversial Opinion] Don't chase perfectionism chase consistency. Period!

Women can reply too. This is hypothetical anyway

If you were my husband, & I say I don't want to work. How do you respond?

So I am working at a startup for around a year now. Everyday I see, it feels, what am I really doing? Where is the life headed? 
    Doing bare minimum or doing your tasks and fucking off isn't enough. It's expected that we outgrow constantly, as if it's this work that we can always think about and nothing else. At the end, am wondering if it's still worth it?
    1 day it feels that let's just quit it! Next day I feel, okay, I do want the money. 

I ain't looking for suggestions here, just wanted to see if anyone else felt this way

Getting increasingly bored of work at startup

Been there, but money is very important especially for a middle class family, for most of us we are earning 5x more than our parents at least and have huge expectations from families to provide them with good life

Dual Income and No Kids sounds very attractive but advice from people in their late 20s and 30s is probably too biased to be considered sound advice.

Wanted to understand how couples who took that decision in their 30s feel today.

Do you regret it?
Do you feel purposeless?
Do you feel lonely?
Do you feel the FOMO?

And so on.

Any DINK couples in their 40s? How do you really feel?

I am a 37 year old female and my husband is 40. We were unable to have kids through normal ways and chose to not go for continued IVf after the first one didn’t work. We found IVF to be too draining emotionally, physically and also financially to a certain extent (although that was not a major extent) . We were also ready to take that decision to be a DINK because we felt that we loved each other and found our life fulfilling with each other, family and work. Having a child would have been great but I personally agonised over this decision for many years in my early 30s because we have been told that if you don’t have kids ‘you will regret it later when it’s too late 😅😅’ happy to report years later that we don’t regret not having kids at all - and we don’t think we will feel differently many years later too.

Program Manager

Senior Product Manager

Ever wondered how many love stories orgs have killed? Right at the start, in the middle, intentionally adding to the cold start or making the friction more pronounced. Think about it: corporate policies, unwritten rules, and so to say "culture" might have ended more love stories (and still is) than we care to acknowledge.

Imagine two colleagues who hit it off -only to be told that their relationship violates some archaic HR policy. Or worse, they keep it hidden, living in constant fear of discovery. Why? Because the org demands a separation of personal and professional lives that’s unnatural and really there's no switch to human connection. How do it fucking turn it off?

I mean you spend more than half your day at the work place right? falling for someone out there - Happens. Then, wouldn't it get to you that you have to say something but cant say, have to wait, but cant wait, and the distractions and more. I have seen most sides I guess - exceptional performers getting together, one high one low getting along - good outcomes, I have seen public spats too - really ugly ones. I have seen folks in depression. I have seen the founders being shaky with the gossip and more..

So you got to ask:
- Does this really add to morale? who really wins here?
- Does it take you away from your goal?
- Why are folks so divided on this topic?
- Is it about control or culture or someones belief system coming in the way?
- What’s the real impact on employee retention?
- Do we really trust our employees enough?
- Can we redefine professionalism?
and What if we embraced love stories? 

Moral policing is not the answer. Neither is we dont know what they would do next - no one in the right mind is so horny that they bang right on the office floor (at least I would like to believe that) ... So.. is our insecurities too high, our principles too shaky, or we just like to be really really convenient. 

Your take please.

Office Love Stories

Human Resource

I'm amazed at the ease with which women straight up remove photos of their exes from their profiles right after a breakup.

No consideration for memories or feelings. Clean slate, next bakra please.

It's not like people who know her personally don't know he didn't exist. It's just better optics for their profile so that newcomers don't look into their exes and "past mistakes".

Out of sight, out of mind, literally.

It's weird how teeny tiny apps have deeply changed and created said and unsaid rules in online and offline societies. 

The best part? They're free to use and dispose of, much like humans and relationships these days.

I was a self professed tech loving nerd who is increasingly becoming luddite and tech hating. So many beliefs being questioned everyday. Just trying to detach myself from what I can now.

What do you think about Instagram and how it affects behaviours? Any particularly good or bad ones you'd like to share?

Wouldn't it be nice if real life were like an Instagram profile?

Product Owner

Why should someone have a partner for life ?

Android Engineer

Glorified slave hiring

Salary is not the only thing!!!

I've been offered my dream job abroad, but my partner's career is taking off here in India.

This opportunity could skyrocket my career, but asking my partner to relocate feels selfish. 

How does one prioritise and balance 2 careers?

The post seems to be from a Doctor and the first half sounds more like you're wasting your life if you're not having sex or kids. Like there's no purpose in life if you aren't getting this.

(And that's how India made 130+ crore earthlings!)

33M here and these points sounded fascinating when I was 25-26, but not anymore. Except for the EMI part everything else looks like a blessing instead of being in a bad marriage. If you're in your late 30s and unmarried, how has it been for you?

What does future and "purpose" mean to you at this point of life?

Any 35+ M here and who is going through this?

More like remote workers all day lol

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

TW: It can make you spiral

I was watching Tarla the other day (ah don't roll your eyes yet)
She started with cooking classes, then published books, then a TV show
A growth graph in life (sure, it is not exponential, but still upwards)

What are we doing in life?
One job to another, getting hikes, and repeating the same again.
Each company looks fab on social media, but is the same stinking shithole from inside.

Where am I going?
What's more to life now?
Every day is almost the same, except for some occasional bumps or problems which we solve in a week/month.

Another life musing

I am thinking of leaving my current job and focus on myself, getting to know myself better etc. Currently I have enough money saved for my expenses for next 6-8 months. 
   Everyone I have asked about this say don't leave your job if you don't have another lined up, in this tech winter. I understand their view point. It aligns with what my parents think as well.

Is there anyone who has had done this in the past? Do you recommend this route? Are the consequences far too severe? Does anyone have a different opinion from one stated above?

Anyone ever left job without having another job lying around for their mental peace?

I'm in the same boat, on the verge of quitting, and will most probably take the leap next month.  
 Thanks for the thread. A lot of insights. It has made me confident that I'm not doing anything stupid.

Would you maintain this blog as a couple?

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