I wanted to pen down my story, as I have been feeling extremely low for the past two days. I work hard, but still donāt get the results that I deserve
Some background. Did engineering from a tier 3 college(this oneās on me, didnāt study hard in my 12th, hence completely my mistake). During college, I was motivated and determined to do good, and aspired for MS abroad in top university, so that I could get rid of the tier 3 tag(honestly, my undergrad college was so bad that mostly the localites of the city enrolled, and only for the purpose of getting a degree, even mass recruiters didnāt recruit from this campus). I worked hard in my first sem, and this college was affiliated to a state university. In the end sem exam, I was given horrible marks, completely careless checking, significantly reducing my GPA. I applied for reassessment but no change. Apart from that, I kept upskilling, learnt ML. In 4th sem, I was given a backlog(it got cleared when I applied for reassessment). Honestly I would always do well in class and internal exams, but somehow the external examiners always gave unfair marks and had to always apply for reassessment.
In 3rd year, I got an internship of 2 months, but had to cut it down to a month as college had attendance issues. In the final semester I got a 6 month internship at a very good startup, at a very good pay, but again, had to turn it down due to college attendance issues. During final year, wrote a research paper, initially it got rejected, but had to raise contention with the conference committee for unfair evaluation, and after reevaluation by other reviewers, got stellar reviews and paper was published( you see how unfair it is right). I also gave GRE, TOEFL and got decent score, got into 1 so so university but was rejected by 5 others. Didnāt go for it as it was not that great and it was COVID year.
After college concluded, it was COVID time. Continued in comments.
