[Controversial Opinion] Don't chase perfectionism chase consistency. Period!
The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior.
Where,
- I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role. This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none...
- I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself
- I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos!
- I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser
I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections! This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth. I ended up being afraid to pick anything up.
If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up
This resulted in I procrastinating in things. Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it... I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything!
After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness...
TLDR - Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want! Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead! It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!
Couldn't agree more
Dude, you read the whole thing?
Yes, some of the sentences felt like I have written them
The 4 points you listed, definitely felt personal. I have been through this stuff and overcame it with time.
On one hand it feels nice to have someone who experiences the same things as you do yet I feel this dread of not being able to come out of this. How am I to reverse decades worth hatred directed towards me by my own self in an instant ( this fu*ker of a brain genuinely believes that overnight literally means overnight)? This itself triggers the perfectionism mindset. Unable to love your self? Failure!! Can't be done. Best stay this way.
And the worst part? I wake up
everyday hating myself for not loving myself enough.
People say you crib a lot. My brother in Christ, only if you could hear what goes on in my mind.
It's crippling to say the least.
I'm thak gya honestly.
@Ch0nkey05 , I can relate to that. It's not easy. I had to let go of achieving mindset and to just accept that what I am doing isn't working out. And I would much rather achieve only 1 thing through all difficulties than be who I am.. It takes time and I am still going through the after effects
More love to you❤️🫂
First time in my life, I performed a solo dance at my cousin's sangeet last month. I had just 3 days to prep. This thought of perfectionism did come to my mind. But since I've already overcome these mental stuff it becomes natural. Hope you all overcome too!
Did you write this all in one go or you wrote some deleted some then finally posted after a day? Hope this question helps you with retrospection
All in 1 go. I saw a comment about perfectionism obsession and I thought I dealt the same and I should post this thinking it should atleast give someone a perspective from a person who has gone through something similar
It did help with retrospection. I am more self aware of my perfectionism behavior and whenever it comes, I try to take care of it. I am dealing with the after effects of it
This is the moral of the movie named "yeh jawani hai deewani". Accept our failures, imperfectionism and inconsistencies too. Move on whatever is the past or the current present
It's not about accepting our imperfectionism. It's more of not having an expectation to be perfect
@jake_peralta_B99 I'd say its both. Only when you accept and embrace being imperfect will you stop building expectations. Although its very difficult to break old thought patterns you'll still be a better person than most now that you've seen both sides. Gradually you'll learn to control your perfectionism (see it as an ability not everyone has) and use it only when you need it - atleast that's what I aim for. Really appreciate your post.
