Adulting Community

by StanleyHudson

Stealth

5 months ago

How do you choose people?

I mean how do you start trusting people again? Most of the people that I have around me turned out to be an ass. I could never fill the social void. My heart keeps yearning for social validation (I am not in the mood of hearing that happiness should stem from within etc etc, afterall humans are social beings, we need people to survive. We thrive on trust. Being alone never helps in the long run, I have learnt this the hard way) Its so easy to confuse politeness with kindness. I know it comes through practice but I have been extremely paitent. I cant filter people. I know its a plain rhetoric. But would love to know your perspectives.

StanleyHudson

Stealth

5 months ago

Btw Key lesson learnt from GrapeVine: Never open up to women You will only be blamed for your situation and would be treated like a scapegoat. Exceptions do exist tho

jake_peralta_B99

Unemployed

5 months ago

Who hurt you bro?

StanleyHudson

Stealth

5 months ago

I dont remember I only recall the good noble women I have found here. I often end up chatting for hours with them. We discuss all sorts of things on all sorts of channels. Completely platonic tho, not being a flirt. And yes have already forgiven the bitchy ones. Perhaps they have their own reasons.

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Bittergourd

Stealth

5 months ago

Yes I can resonate with you, i have been victim of such instances during my boarding school days and even recently. Now I came up with solutions not be so open and friendly to anyone until I'm getting same vibes from front. People are insane You are good human Work on yourself instead 💪🏻💯

jake_peralta_B99

Unemployed

5 months ago

I am not able to understand your perspective. Could you perhaps explain what do you mean by most people turned out to be an ass? How do you define this bar?

StanleyHudson

Stealth

5 months ago

They turn out to be either of the below: 1. Betrayers 2. Temporary 3. Snakes 4. Spies sent by so called "wellwishers" 5. Ignorant 6. Ghosters 7. Only around for perks kinda people Mostly, I feel that non-reciprocity is at the fulcrum of all the above behaviour types.

jake_peralta_B99

Unemployed

5 months ago

Hmm, now I understand it. The way I see it is, generally, it's the people with a likeable personality or a helping nature who have lots of people around them. Surely there would be people who would be all that you mentioned. We really can't know these things about people in 1st meeting itself. What we can do is protect ourselves and getting vulnerable with such people until we know their character well. We should also keep in mind, no one is perfect, so you should be okay embracing faults of people. Based on how people are, you can decide what kind of friends tou wanna be with them and how much you are willing to tell them

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SaveBugs

Stealth

5 months ago

Give each person 1L rupees udhar. If anyone returns you can trust him/her. Please start with me!

Kamlesh

Stealth

5 months ago

Trial and error. No other way around it. You keep close the ones who fail the least number of times.

StanleyHudson

Stealth

5 months ago

Okay, Do you suggest meeting and befriending as many people as possible? Or something else?

Kamlesh

Stealth

5 months ago

Yes. It's a game of numbers after all, same for dating. Talk to 1k people > hang out with 100 > 10 of them become close friends over time Friends can come and go though. It's easier to stay friends with people in the same city, not so much if they stay elsewhere. In our age especially it is more difficult to make lasting friendships because of everyone chasing jobs and career.

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Redthunder

Series A Startup

5 months ago

It happens over time. There is no formula to it. Small steps of trust that are placed naturally without you realising and then one fine day you look back and you trust that person.

MightyLazyGeekStar

Stealth

5 months ago

you find the best folks around your bachelors. If you still have people you are in touch with, you are blessed.