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help me resolve this

I need to buy something from someone who is far away and it's a classic trust issue. we both don't know each other, so shall that person send the item first or i need to transfer the money first ? he is asking me to just trust and transfer the money first but I don't want to risk the money. a neutral third party could be a solution but doesn't seem feasible in this situation. also we can't bring legal contract or anything here. how do I solve this ?

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