WobblyNoodle
WobblyNoodle

I am a resume liar

Forgive me my Sins

In 2017, after graduating, I joined a big IT corporate as an Associate Consultant (Engineer). My start date was delayed by six months, and four months in, I was benched with half my already very low pay.

Money was tight with rent and other expenses. My family expected me to start investing in jewellery and buying land.

I was new to Bangalore and wanted more money to visit bars and expensive restaurants every weekend. Wanted to buy a bike with good gear. Along the dream to have a girl riding behind me. Sab Aukat ke bahar.

As one does, I started looking out into startups. The problem - 0 relevant work ex.

So here it goes, I had interned at a startup in college and knew what their documents looked like. Filled the 6 empty months in my CV with a job as a “SDE-I Android” working with the founder directly. I spiced up my CV with claims of 2x load time, reducing costs, international team collaboration, and an award. Some college awards to boot too!

I made a detailed fake job story, read interview books, solved questions and watched salary negotiation videos. Eventually, I got into a Series A startup with only having to make 1 fake certificate. They never checked with my previous employers, and now I earn eight times what I would have.

The guilt and imposter syndrome haunted me until I started performing well. I still feel guilty, like last Holi when my family praised my achievements.

Just excused myself and went for a smoke and a ride out. The bike is here and it is a custom painted beauty.

Guilty thoughts still go by occasionally but I am becoming more and more comfortably numb to it every passing year.

I have since stopped outright lying and just partake in the standard resume inflation.

Had to let this out.

6mo ago
2.7Kviews
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