Loneliness - Nothing brings joy anymore
I am a 29 YO single male. I earn decently well for my age. Lately I haven’t been feeling well. As in, life is just passing by and nothing brings me joy anymore - No PS5, No long drives, no movies or shows. Weekends are especially lonely. During weekdays, I make sure I go to my office everyday even though it’s hybrid, to avoid feeling lonely. I don’t have any female friends to talk about things deeply as most of those friends are now getting married. (you know how is it with us boys. It feels weird to share emotions or talk about life with the same sex somehow). Same for male friends. They are all getting married. Somehow, it just feels like I focused too much on my work and didn’t invest time in finding a mate at the right time. Now, on weekends, I just lay on my bed like a loser. I was never like this. I had so much drive to work, to explore, etc. But now it all seems pointless.
Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
never get married when feeling desperate, try to get a girlfriend instead and stay in relationship with at least one year before thinking of marriage
I wish for that too. :’) What has worked for you here?
@studMax Having a girlfriend won't help you. If you do get one, you'll place the pressure on her to be your social crutch. Instead, you need to find a way to be content with yourself and only after get into a relationship.
Gym join Karo, kuch new hobbies try Karo, plan every weekend to visit a new restaurant, dating apps, puzzle solving, travel. These are the things that helped me
Gym kafi time se kr rha hun bro. I have 6 packs as well. Had joined some martial arts classes. But ab wo bhi boring ho gya.
Somehow, dating app doesn’t work at all for me, even though I look above average. Isliye properly time nhi diya inko use krne pe. Maybe I will need to put in more efforts and time on these.
Have some hobby. Talk to non-work people in your circle - parents , old school friends, siblings. That's what I did when completely lonely and lived away from family
ai chatbot se baatien karo
Here is my 2 cents on this -
While you are trying to excel in all dimensions, Its a trade off call always. Period!
Understand the concept- unidimensionality is the price you have to pay for excellence.
For example- Hyper functional productive humans (scientists or mathematicians types) spend hours in their laboratories to achieve excellence in their domains, trying to become that 1%… ! Now the price they have to pay is usually compromising on other dimensions such as meaningful relationships (friends, family, partner)
Now by the time we realise it, it’s already too costly.
Thankfully technology is here to save us and here are some action items for you -
Start today, start small -
Make a list of people you know, you feel you have lost touch with… friends, colleagues, people nearby you.
Change the intent -
While you are on your bed, mindlessly scrolling gram as a loser -
Start with an intent of genuinely replying to people’s stories and ask questions with whom you really want to reconnect. Send 10 replies a day. (Start small) This way you’ll be less loser by the day.
While you are already going to gym and have 6-packs, change the intent - Increase your network density at gym. Build connections. Small talks A simple smile, or “morning” or “what are you training today?” etc can be a good start.
Efforts bro efforts! Do it for a month without liking it and trust me your weekends from mid jan24 would start feeling packed again. You would be invited to get togethers, outings and what not.
This is was very helpful. Thanks for the detailed writing, bro.
Bhai I am 26 YO , going through the same struggle of life I literally don't have any friends !