PookieBoo
PookieBoo

Need suggestions

I'm a working woman, have no child and have a decent salary, married to a man for 2.5 years now and he is working in BPO. I'm earning more than him. He has rental income but it will go to his mum and we only use our money for our expenses

It was an arranged marriage and I moved from my state to a whole new state because. I found him very kind and sweet and he is that guy. Full of love and care towards me. Till this day he is still loving and caring towards me.

Today he got fired from his job. The problem is he is not willing or interested to skill up and is only working for mediocre jobs which have no growth. Last year he resigned himself from his previous company stating stress as reason which is okay. But he promised to skill up in a few month and try for IT job. But he didn't do anything and just kept scrolling through phone and landed in similar job for just small salary without trying to improve his skills. He is like I have rental income and own home why I need to work hard in these jobs(while I'm still expected to work as I'm educated girl)

My problem is he is big spender and doesn't mind spending money. Which is fine untill he is willing to save some money for our future. But he only thinks of spending here and there in cloths, vehicles and not interested in actually growing in career or increasing income. Whenever I get to this topic he becomes defensive and says he is trying from his end but I don't see any efforts from his end. The problem is our income is not sufficient for our lifestyle.

I'm here thinking 100 times to buy something for myself even though I can afford it and he is just opposite having no money and buying things on credit card and not being able to pay it later. I contribute to paying credit card bills which he spent

He has many vehicles which he bought earlier in rental income by torturing his mom. His mom expects us to manage the vehicle maintenance ourself which is huge for our income.

Every year he is spending on big purchase like car, new EV scooter, Samsung galaxy phone but I don't purchase anything big. I also paid for our vacation and all.

During marriage my parents spent on all the wedding costs. From his side nothing for me, no reception, no honeymoon.

I'm regretting this marriage and moving to whole city and state for this man because of all this reason and I'm not sure if I'm wrong here.

Please share any suggestions on this 🙏🏾

10d ago4.6K views
SoggyBasil4
SoggyBasil4

Heyy, idk this is a great attitude towards life anybody should have like your spouse is displaying. You can talk with him politely again and maybe he can understand. Or maybe try restricting the money you give him, maybe he would give a second thought about it then.

PookieBoo
PookieBoo

Thanks for the suggestion. I tried talking in this regard earlier, as I said he gets defensive. He says he has lot of goals and dreams but the effort or try is not at all evident that's it. Will try to talk to him again

SoggyBasil4
SoggyBasil4

Yup no worries, hope he agrees and listens but you know it's not a problem with him, like it's I guess a procrastination thing. Also, I have that habit of spending less even if it's affordable lol.

Start taking financial matters in your hand. Simply speaking, matters of finances should be in the hand of the major earning partner. Obviously some common consent should be there, but in cases of disagreements, the opinion of the one earning should prevail.

PookieBoo
PookieBoo

Thanks for the suggestion, will try to talk to him again keeping your point in mind.

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