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DancingBanana

Question to men

Why is it that some men show too much interest in you for initial few weeks, like asking for ig and then ig messages. Seeing your stories just about the instant you post it. They tell you about their last break up they can't get over with but still tell you that falling in love is the most beautiful part of life and talk about wanting to settle down - until the time you show interests and hola! They suddenly change their verdicts - suddenly they're no more interested. Suddenly they get busy and don't respond to your messages anymore. My question to men, what do you seek from a woman when you are looking for some serious engagements. Whom should one trust with attachments?

14mo ago
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DancingKoala
DancingKoala
Stealth14mo

Most Indian men dont know how to form meaningful emotional relationships. Its how they ate being raised. However its changing now. More men are accepting this and working on it.

DancingBanana
DancingBanana
Manhattan Associates14mo

do you mean a woman should not emotionally invest in men before there is a legal contract of justifying their bond?

PrancingCoconut
PrancingCoconut
Accenture14mo

No he means that most people don't give it as much importance as they should. There are a good % of them that do. Take your time and date one that matches your personality 🧘‍♂️

GroovyBoba
GroovyBoba
X (formerly Twitter)14mo

Isn't this like straight forward? Dude like you shows a high amount of interest and either gets mixed signals or no signals and backs off or sees that the vibe doesn't match and backs off or he finds someone else and backs off. Or you playing hard to get and dude doesn't understands wtf that means and backs off.

Men are simple creatures we just do basic cost-benefit and effort-opportunity analysis before asking a girl out. Or you can smile at us and we can forgo all the maths

DancingBanana
DancingBanana
Manhattan Associates14mo

@Elon_Musk few men back out even after getting the right hints. Simply because they like the chase and not the fruit after the chase.

GroovyBoba
GroovyBoba
X (formerly Twitter)14mo

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

PrancingNugget
PrancingNugget
Stealth14mo

Is the vice versa also possible? I've noticed the same problem with many girls.

DerpySushi
DerpySushi
Eventbrite14mo

Agree. This society is evolving gradually, both men and women will have to adapt it. Its not only men’s game, women will have to put equal efforts.

DancingBanana
DancingBanana
Manhattan Associates14mo

it could be people who faced similar situation - who got tired of flaky men

DerpySushi
DerpySushi
Eventbrite14mo

IMO Indian men are yet to learn the “dating culture”, unlike west most of the families raise their kids differently. This leads to a new exposure for the kids where they have mot seen something like this and they have to do it and learn from mistakes.

DancingBanana
DancingBanana
Manhattan Associates14mo

what about the emotional toll a woman has to go through?

DerpySushi
DerpySushi
Eventbrite14mo

You need to navigate, help them when they are lacking. Also respond to them at right time, they will leave if you dont show interest. Maybe somene else has shown interest and they have moved on. Pick the early signs and put equal efforts. Take this as 2 sided game, its your duty also to keep the game going. In this society men and women are supposed to be treated equal.

GoofyCupcake
GoofyCupcake
Stealth14mo

The unfortunate truth is that people just don't know what they want and have really short attention spans. This coupled with people living for validation from social media only makes it worse.

I've met my girlfriend of 2 years on hinge and I'm happy to say that I see myself living the rest of my life with her. But that being said, dating apps have made availability of options so ubiquitous that i think most people struggle to give enough time to form meaningful bonds. Cuz they feel like the next best thing is right around the corner.

As for men ghosting after some time. This is just shitty behaviour in my opinion (btw loads of women do this too ) and regardless of gender people need to understand that there is another human with feelings at the other end of it. The least one can do is communicate what's on their mind. It might lead to a uncomfortable conversation but atleast there is a sense of closure for everyone.

I think we should all get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations and respect people's emotions if we are gonna enter into the dating pool. It's a social contract that we should never break.

My two cents on this

GoofyCupcake
GoofyCupcake
Stealth14mo

Also @MoiraRose you might get a lot of negativity on here. Don't let that get to you.

Thank you for sharing, it does take a lot to share personal experiences even on anonymous sites.

Know that the grass is greener where you water it. Take it one day at a time and be clear about what you want from a interaction with a person. If they flake then know that Its for the best....and a better person is out there.

Best of luck and wish you a lot of happiness and joy.

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