[TL;DR former National quizzing champ dropped out of B. Tech in 2020 during peak of addiction and depression . Got over it and sober in Jan'23, resumed college and completed my B. Tech in Feb'24. Picked up coding again and feel ready for a job now Should I be honest or lie about the gap? Been ghosted my few recruiters whom I was honest with.]
JS developer here. I used to be a decent student, public speaker and one of the best quizzers in the college scene (former National Champ). But I never addressed some traumatic events that took place in my life before I turned 16. My depression took refuge in substance abuse and I abandoned all studies/career prospects during the pandemic. Eventually after 7 years of using, I got clean/sober in Jan'23 and resumed my studies. I earned my degree but on paper it took me 8 years to complete a 4 year B. Tech (2016-24).
Reasonably I get asked about the gap in my academics by hr/recruiters whom I push my CV to. I've been dead honest to them about my struggles with mental health and addiction in the past. And I've been getting ghosted. (It could be because of skill reasons on my part but I'm not even getting a feedback).
Should I not tell recruiters the truth about the gap? Should I leave the addiction bit out? How should I word it? I've never held a real coding job before but been slogging for the last 6 months to get better each day (my github and projects will reflect that). Please help me out with all your valuable suggestions. If you're a tech recruiter let me know how you would perceive my case.
You don't have to. They are not your friends and you don't know how someone might take it as.
You have been brave enough to come out of it but unfortunately not everyone will see it.
Thanks for writing back Sir.
How would you suggest I explain the gap then?
Would it hurt my job prospects further if I make a thread on X/LinkedIn about my addiction recovery just to put my story out in the universe?
I'm in two minds about it.
Health reasons. Say you had a back/spinal/liver or kidney issue
I highly recommend that you stick with the truth, I believe you are a hero and you have fought all odds to come out of the past. If I were to interview you I would have been really happy with only one question for which you should try to see how you can articulate it.
Recruiters and managers are not really bothered about the past what would really want to know is will you go back to where you came from? They need to understand if they can trust you.
Now with all this in mind frame the response, you should start with what went wrong, what happened, your inner realisation and then your fight against the addiction and then close it by mentioning why you will not go back to your past addiction.
I am sure you will do great things in life, do not hide anything from the hiring team, money, role, promotions will catch up in the long run.
Thank you so much for your words. As for what went wrong, I faced molestation at the hands of an old tenant at the age of 7. This crippled my confidence and I could never stand up for myself. I was bullied everyday in school basically till I was 14. My parents thought it's very usual and I took it likewise. When I found freedom in college, I fell with the psychedelic crowd. I started using cuz it gave me a sort of relief from my thoughts that I had never felt before. It became the only way I could feel good and I thought I had found my cure. It took me 7 years of using, a lot of counselling and a few fellow addict friends dying to realise that using is just a false sense of well being. And that it'd be very selfish if I use my past to justify ruining my future. I have a 10 year old sibling who was becoming aware of my habits and that was the rock bottom to me. I knew I had to quit. The biggest realisation is that if one part of your body is hurting, then you don't hurt another part of your body to distract from the earlier pain. And that forgive yourself like you forgive other people. As for why I can't ever go back, I'll loose everything, maybe even my life if I relapse. I cannot justify making my parents cry anymore just cuz of what happened in my past.
Just felt like reciprocating your comment off the top of my head. I'll work on it and prepare this before every interview.
99 percent of folks be it recruiters wont consider your profile. That is the harsh truth. You need to find that 1 percent who is willing to give you a shot despite all your past. Forget targeting MNCs, try connecting with folks with similar background like yours and something will work out.
Thanks for writing back man. All suggestions are valuable to me. When you say connect with people with similar background, do you mean former addicts who are working in tech now? It be so great to find someone like that to look upto but I couldn't find anyone. Hence I posted here.
Are you a recruiter Sir? If so, would it help if I post a thread about my struggles and recovery on X/LinkedIn just to put my story out there? I had made a lot of IRL connections with corporate employees overnight when I won the National title few years back. It was on tv and newspapers too.
I can empathise with you. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2013. Didn’t have a formal job till 2018. I was always upfront about my fight with depression, for me it has not really gone away but I handle it better. I am still on medication.
I had rather work with someone who understands my struggle than who scoff at it or judge/make fun.
I started from scratch again in 2018 and now I am at 5 times my CTC that I drew in 2018. Don’t worry, be truthful, focus on your fight to overcome, achievement is an achievement be it in personal life or professional life.
All the best.
Thank you so much for writing this Sir and sharing about your struggles as well. I visit a therapist every month (want to visit every week but it is expensive) and will probably have to for the rest of my life. Great that you've 5X-ed your earnings too. It makes me belief that things can be better for me too in the future.
Hey bud, Recruiter here. I am proud of your resilience and decision to turn your life around. But take it from me, your story will be appreciated only after you’ve tasted success. Recruiters on face might tell you you’re strong, but internally they know hiring manager and current teammates will not accept you hence they reject you. Recruiters are a reflection of where they work, and not themselves. Making skill as King would make our life easier instead of following diktats of degrees, gaps and pedigrees So as Gupchup said above “I had a health reason which took me 3 years to heal from, but now I am well and I completed my degree and here are my projects/github.” You say the truth without divulging details and you don’t owe the recruiters your personal health records. You don’t owe that even to companies. Just get that first job, work your ass off on it, after a couple years start writing and posting on mental health (it’s popular because everyone struggles with it in secret). Recruiters throughout your career will ask for that gap, and your answer for atleast first 5 years should remain the same. Once you hit lead level, you can tell your story without a lot of blowback because you’ve shown through considerable amount of work and years that you’re a productive member of society and corporate.
I know this means you’ll not be living a complete truth, but think of your 10 yr old sibling. Wouldn’t you want to show them you’ve changed in actions over time than hold on to your self sense of truth? We do everything for our family and loved ones. If SE intern roles open up in my company, I’ll DM you (we covert to full time if you do well). Prove the world wrong through actions over time! Wish you my best 🤗
Thank you so much for blessing me with your know-how, Rangolibaba ji. I really needed insights from a recruiter about the psychology behind the scenes. I was really confused as to what tactic to adopt while explaining my gap. Things are clearer now. Indeed getting recruited is much much more important than getting my story out at this moment. I'll do my best.
Even if that referral doesn't come along, I believe you've helped me already.
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