I was a big fan of RC cars, cycles, video games, computer hardware etc. I died everytime as a child when my dad came back to home with monthly ration and I desperately searched for any toy or something to play with.
We were struggling to get by so I never complained. Kept things to myself and just saw my friends enjoying themselves with new gifts, stationary, pens they receive every week/month.
I remember satisfying myself by watching gameplay videos on YT. Played GTAV for the first time in 2021 after crying for not being able to play it in 2013. I thought I'd feel happy. I didn't.
It stopped affecting me during 11th.
I got hurt when the cash I was saving for bike during college got spent up for household expenses.
Now I could buy shit ten times over. I barely do. I am sadly habitual to that frugal lifestyle now. Me and my brother went to a Toy shop last week. Thought we'd buy loads of stuff. Came out empty handed as we don't feel the rush anymore. I bought unnecessary amount of Games on steam this January. Thought I'd play them. They are still to be downloaded :(
So yeah. I feel you.